Is it that much of a turn-off when a man never had a GF?

[SharpMember]

The only sex I ever had was what I paid for at age 30 after trying to get it the normal way all my life. I paid for it until I was like 34 but after that age it’s been the same as it was in my 20s. I am 39 now and still single simply because I lack experience in real relationships.

should I give up?

The lack of a girlfriend might not be a turn-off, depending on the person and the reasons. The paying for sex, however, would be a no-go. I’d never want to be in a relationship with someone who sees women as objects to be bought and paid for.

She was more than open to it, she wasn’t trafficked or anything. And I only did it after 14 years of failing

If all you want is sex, then that is the turn off. Most women prefer to be seen as individuals and to meet men who connect with them personally, even if just for a casual fling, rather than random suppliers of sex to some man who is interested in just that - not fussed who with.

If you want a girlfriend start showing interest in individual women and developing a sense of what you might offer as a partner that would be attractive in a relationship: are you funny, kind, talented, intelligent, warm-hearted, enthusiastic about the world, a good listener and attentive loyal friend? etc.

Be a friend first. Dating, dinner, walks Someone paying for sex is a big turn off so don't mention that!

I won’t do it again. I haven’t for 5 years

I'd see paying for sex as a turn off and the fact that you had not had any connections to women might also be an issue. I think there's someone for everyone though and you shouldn't give up if a relationship is what you want. It's not all about sex though. Get to know people on a friendship or romantic level you before you jump into bed.

Depends why you are still single. Not to be harsh but what kind of women are you interested in? Eg if you are unemployed, no hobbies/interests, don’t keep yourself well, many women would not be interested.. I think not having dated before wouldn’t bother me, so you need to give a bigger context as to who you are as a person to identify why you are still single.

I can't imagine any woman would be interested in a man who has paid for sex.

It’s only because all other avenues failed (besides going for women I’m not attracted to and making it up)

The way you keep offering excuses as to why you paid for sex is off putting, never mind the paying for sex aspect.

“I am 39 now and still single simply because I lack experience in real relationships.”

This is not why you are single.

Yes. Give up.

It's a no go for me on all accounts.
I'd advise you to find a BACP counsellor for some therapy.

Have you managed to figure out why you've never had a real relationship?
There is an age where yes, it's a bit strange to meet a man who's been single all his life. But there's probably about 15 years before that when it's not that odd. There must have been something you're doing or something in your attitude that comes across as unpleasant to women.
Do you know what it is?

You think you could legitimately buy the use of women's bodies? Yeah, that's a complete turn off. Deeply misogynistic.

As is the fact the OP appears to be unable to distinguish between ‘having sex’ and ‘a relationship’. Ugh.

You're putting too much importance on sex defining 'having a girlfriend'.

There is so, so, SO much more to having a girlfriend - aka - a relationship than just sex.

If sex is all you want then carry on paying for it. At least that way nobody's expectations are anything other than what's being paid for.

Why am I single then? I was rejected hundreds of times for that fact alone

Can I ask why it’s a no go?

Anyone else think the op is Purely to get a reaction?

No, I think it is a man who would love a relationship and is struggling to find one and is lonely. He did make a mistake telling MN that he paid for sex though.

I’m not I mean it

Probably a personality flaw at fault. The type of man who pays for sex, is not the type of man women want. You were that type in the first place, so you got turned down your own worst enemy.
Hundreds of women have turned you down for not having had a relationship? You've had time to try and woo hundreds? - aye, I bet, I doubt you have the social skills. If true, the hundreds of women would think you're odd to admit to that. Resist the urge to mention it, and you are done for if you admit to using prostutes - who for some reason Re more attractive to you than many other women 😂

Men having less experience in relationships than they usually let on is not as unusual as it sounds.

What are you hoping for in a relationship?

What have you been doing previously that fails?

Because I want a well adjusted man who doesn't pay escorts. I find it repulsive how you can't find the confidence to pursue a normal relationship yet repeatedly buy women's bodies. You should've spent that money on therapy.

Why can't you imagine that? I'm a woman and read so many posts on here from women that are so absolutely desperate for any man they put up with all kinds of shit from total losers. They clearly have incredibly low standards in their choice of men.
I imagine there would therefore be plenty of women who would think it's perfectly fine if an otherwise decent man had visited prostitutes years prior to any relationship with them.
The number of women who think it's ok for their husband or partner to watch porn astounds me. If I had to choose( I don't) I'd far rather a relationship with a man who had visited prostitutes in the past than one who currently watched porn.