Is it that much of a turn-off when a man never had a GF?

[SharpMember]

The only sex I ever had was what I paid for at age 30 after trying to get it the normal way all my life. I paid for it until I was like 34 but after that age it’s been the same as it was in my 20s. I am 39 now and still single simply because I lack experience in real relationships.

should I give up?

Can you clarify this is what was actually happening OP? Or were you just exaggerating?

Yes. 15-20+ a year

So every three weeks or so you were meeting someone new, asking them on a date, telling them you were a virgin and then they rejected you? Before even going on a date? Or after? Or a mixture?

Why did you tell all of them you were a virgin?

They picked up on it themselves

So 15/20 women a year either refused to date you or stopped dating you and specifically told you the reason was that you were a virgin, even though you hadn't volunteered the information yourself?

Yes, they said they could tell.

and if they asked should’ve I lied?

This tells me you behave in very awkward ways in real life (although to be honest you are also very awkward on here) as it is bananas to think that all women have some kind of finely-tuned “virgin radar” that allows them to “pick up” that you have never had sex except with prostitutes.

The awkwardness is the problem more than the “virginity”.

ETA why am I still indulging this obvious bullshit lol

I think you’re onto something here.

OP, I am concerned that you are coming across to people as very socially awkward, and that, coupled with possibly volunteering info that you’re a virgin, is quite frankly scaring women away. A lot of women, when dating, are looking for red flags.

I am really concerned by how transactional you are approaching relationships too, and I wouldn’t be surprised if others are picking up on this too. You seriously need to consider therapy, and maybe even some kind of dating or relationship coaching.

Additionally, you appear quite hung up on this previous woman. You are ruminating, and fixating which is very unhelpful. Looking at your responses on here, it’s like you have this unhelpful belief about yourself as being defective somehow and you’re looking for evidence that supports this in being rejected by women. You’re doing yourself no favours if your end goal is to find someone to spend your life with. Please spend time working on yourself and not blaming being a virgin, inexperience or the other woman for not being interested. Let it go.

How did you meet these 20 women a year? Did you go on actual dates with all of them? Get to know them? What we’re the situations?

In simple terms, I’m not a bad looking guy despite being a virgin.

You’re not a virgin tho. You said you got that covered. What’s the point of coming onto an anonymous forum and telling lies?

Yeah, that doesn’t actually answer the question.

Dated a lot in my 30s.. can honestly say it never occurred to me someone was a virgin and even if they were the most socially awkward person I had ever met I wouldn't ask so... how are these 20+ women a year finding out/guessing you are unless you tell them?! And even offering up thay information would be so wierd....

You come across badly on here so imagine equally so in real life... I imagine it's more to do with that than any "inexperience"

That doesn’t answer my question in any way, shape or form. Are you going to answer it?

Your unwillingness (or inability) to engage with anything at all that’s been said to you on this thread indicates that the way in which you communicate is probably the reason for your lack of success with women.

Thank you!

I’m confused, you have had sex with prostitutes but now you are a virgin? This is getting too confusing/complicated probably for mumsnet. I’d advise talking to your GP about accessing psychosexual counselling. Giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are for real and not just messing around on forums.

If you ever get into a relationship you will find this isn't actually true😂

And you are talking BS. Your posts don't add up or actually make sense. You are giving goady answers and deliberately being elusive. Good try, but find something else to amuse you.

No, I don't think it was this; I think it was your obsessive personality and your formulaic and transactional attitude to relationships with women.

Do you have any male friends?

But you’re not a virgin as you said you paid for sex? I’m super confused.

Yeah, isn't he a john, not a virgin? The former definitely being a fuckload more off putting than the latter.

That'll be my fault, I added a link to a very similar thread with the same way of writing, weirdly they seem to pop up every three weeks or so. I am SURE it's the same person.

@SharpMember So you're socially awkward which is why every woman has been able to tell that you are a virgin (because apparently women have psychic powers), but despite being socially awkward, it turns out that you are good-looking, which is how you are able to date a huge number of women every year (20 or so). So somehow you are a man who can date huge numbers of women, but not one of these women want to progress things towards a relationship.

And even though you are socially awkward, you somehow found a way to earn a colossal £100k salary, even though very senior roles require a lot of skills when it comes to communication and managing people.

I smell bullshit.

Agreed.

I cannot believe people are still bothering with this thread.

OP thinks women are slot machines. You put in either money or friendship and get out sex. There's no point. We aren't fully human to him.