Mid-life limerence?

[Candoolili]

Looking for some tips from others who might have experienced this. I realise limerence has become a trendy word which pathologises what is essentially a crush, but looking at threads online it’s the best description of what I’m currently experiencing! I’m married as is the person in question but my entire day is spent thinking about them and coming up with all sorts of silly imaginings. There is absolutely no way I am acting on any of this but looking for tips on how to expel these thoughts from my brain! I’m not even sure where it’s come from as they are not my type, much older and not conventionally attractive. I cannot go completely no contact as there will be occasional contact through work, and I’m not in position to give up my job. Many thanks.

Sorry I’ve just scrolled back, I did read that and was actually pondering to myself what could be lacking, going on emotionally for me etc. that was useful, thank you.

Sure.

We all crave novelty and excitement and dislike feeling bored and unengaged. Maybe ruminating on this person gives you something to think about to stave off boredom now the DC need you less. Hobbies, planning date nights … good ideas!

The thing to remember is that you don't really know him beyond your limited interactions at work; your brain is busy filling in the desirable details probably subconsciously to address something that's missing in your life right now. You say about your husband- cheesy but can you arrange some dates? Try and reconnect?

Thanks. I think there’s definitely an element of filling in details alright as I really know so little about him. Will def get on to arranging some dates, maybe some more creative ones than dinner dates so we have something more substantial to talk about other than the “DCs”

Limerence?
Seriously?
😳

Apparently so. Call it what you will, it’s not the terminology I’m asking for assistance with, but thanks for your generous and insightful contribution 😉

Yes, I had this very strongly in peri menopause. I think you do imagine the person into perfection in your mind. Interestingly, I am now single, so did in fact hook up recently with a guy I had crashed on like this for 2 giddy years. What a fucking disappointment reality was 😅🙃

I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but also I needed to hear this 🤣

It happened to me, I'm in Peri. It does get better. When I think about it logically I wouldn't really want anything to happen and I love my dh. It's really hard when you're in it though. It can be all consuming. I cringe a bit now because I probably made it really really obvious even though I was trying to hide it.

Honestly 🙃😅 I was with him thinking wtaf..... 🤔 and in my day dreams he had been so perfect.

I wasn't bothered, was funny, after all that strong emotion towards him it was just gone. Cold harsh light of day....

Where can I catch limerence? I'd love to lose 17 lbs in a fortnight.

This is so wise! I had an ill-advised crush while grieving my dad's death. I acted on it and I regretted it immensely. When I look back, I think I was suffering from temporary insanity.
When I'm happy and emotionally stable, I have no fucks to give for men in general, and I merrily shoot down their advances.
I am currently 9 months post-breakup, realising how much better my life is without my ex, and approaching joyful singledom. Bring it on!

We are still friends btw, but the intense emotion I had felt towards him was just gone. Lots of lovely fantasies at the time however, got me through a lonely time. Really I used him in my mind to satisfy a lack in my own life. It was never real.

Absolutely but off out dancing with my girlfriends. Will respond when I get home this evening xxx

Need this thread in my life.
In same boat.

Actually reading what a disappointment someone had upthread is incredibly helpful.

Trapped with near daily contact with this person at work- cannot leave job ( main breadwinner) and am mooning and obsessing like an absolute d1ckhead.

Trying so hard to hide it.

Logical brain knows it's a nonsense.

Stupid hormones convincing me of all sorts of romantic b0ll0cks.

Solidarity to those fellow sufferers

This is actually what I’m afraid of too. That it looks obvious. He’s brought up the wife (in neutral kind of way) numerous times which makes me thinks he’s got a whiff of it.

Absolutely not. I think it would shatter all illusions oddly. The thought is preposterous.