Mid-life limerence?

[Candoolili]

Looking for some tips from others who might have experienced this. I realise limerence has become a trendy word which pathologises what is essentially a crush, but looking at threads online it’s the best description of what I’m currently experiencing! I’m married as is the person in question but my entire day is spent thinking about them and coming up with all sorts of silly imaginings. There is absolutely no way I am acting on any of this but looking for tips on how to expel these thoughts from my brain! I’m not even sure where it’s come from as they are not my type, much older and not conventionally attractive. I cannot go completely no contact as there will be occasional contact through work, and I’m not in position to give up my job. Many thanks.

Thanks all, and yes the bike is a perfect analogy. Very wobbly at the moment and already having ridiculous illogical arguments with myself to try and dissuade me from what I know is the right choice. I’m worried I’ll offend him by dropping off suddenly like this but the reality is out of sight out of mind.

You are giving him too much credit. Men are very simple. He will probably like you more if you disappear.

I know it’s hard. Cry if you need to, it’s miserable.

I would say it is the right thing to do but it is painful and you will feel sad. Ime I got another job and felt very sad, cried etc that I would no longer see my special person. But new job is much better and quite an increase in pay. I would not say my feelings have faded, I think it is something that I’m learning to live with as the alternative of hurting my DS and DC would make me feel a lot worse. Limerance/crushes/whatever is maybe just something that happens sometimes to some people…I suppose a bit like catching an illness, some people will catch it some won’t. And you never know when your paths may cross again

I just wanted to say it's been six months since I had any contact with my limerent object so they are officially called lol. I really don't feel the same way at all but still think of him. I can see the fantasy of it more clearly and also how lonely I was which gave it oxygen to grow. In my last experience in about 1 year you will very rarely think of him anymore. But do try to see what is lacking that has caused it to take anchor so to speak because otherwise it will just come back with someone else!

My LO has finally been seeing someone else and I feel like I've been gut punched. Although it has definitely been fading and we'd massively lowered contact, which was the right thing to do I just don't know why I feel like this..there was never any way we could have been together. We both knew that so the whole thing is ridiculous. It was definitely some weird obsession/fantasy and now I really need to move on and get over this for good. Give me hope please ! I want to get to the point where I laugh at the stupidity of this crush and the thoughts I had of them! It's been months.. surely this will burn out soon?

Have just deleted mine from everything. Still have his number. But has been doing my head in being still connected digitally. Cried but that is so stupid, have not heard from him in months. Was weak and texted a couple of times. He never got back but it’s best that he didn’t. Ouch 😪

Hope you are ok.
I know it’s awful but they say sometimes it’s a blessing if someone stays out of your way. It hurts so much at the time though.