Don’t think DH loves me

[Admodean]

This past few weeks I’ve had the worst illness I’ve ever had in my entire life. Two weeks of horrendous flu, which developed into a nasty infection. For two days I was burning hot and delirious, shivering and vomiting. My mouth and throat are covered in white lumps and so sore. Thankfully antibiotics have helped, but I haven’t eaten for 48 hours. I’m still coughing and shivering and I don’t have the energy to cook anything.

DH has just come home from work at 9pm after being out since 8am. I’m lying in bed shivering and I asked if he’d make me a boiled egg and toast so I can try to eat something. He rolled his eyes and sighed, and said “REALLY?!” in a voice that implied I was unreasonable to ask.

He doesn’t love me, does he? 😭

He's being a dick, but that can happen. Not excusing that but it's not conclusive that he doesn't love you. Is there a backstory?

I'm sorry you've been so ill. It sounds really rough. I do hope it improves soon.

That comment on its own doesn’t mean much tbh. How is your relationship generally?

He doesn’t look after me at all. He could have got up early to take the kids to school himself because I was sick, but he didn’t. I had to drag myself out of bed, and I vomited in the school yard. My son gave me some of his birthday sweets in a dish, thinking it might encourage me to eat - but I was too sick, so DH greedily took them and ate them while I was in bed.

This isn’t new behaviour. He’s never looked after me. But I’ve been more seriously ill than I’ve ever been in my entire life and his behaviour has really shocked me.

OP have you told him you are too sick to deal with the school run and he neeeds to do it?

I'd treat my enemy better than how he's treated you OP.

Shocking behaviour.

Hope you feel much better soon.

Apparently he’s just come in from a long day and that excuses his behaviour. And everything is about me, and what I want, and when I want it. And he’s told his colleagues at work how awful I am and they agree I’m a terrible person, and they’re shocked by what he has to put up with.

Should I have to tell him? When he knows I’m on antibiotics and haven’t eaten for two days, and he’s heard me coughing and vomiting and sobbing all night because I’m so ill?

i’d doubt he does OP with his behaviour.

If he left at 8am how could he get up early and take the kids to school? You seem to imply he's been at work for 13 hours rather than out having a relaxing time.
I'd have told you to make your own eggs too 😂

Would he have taken the kids had you of asked?

As you are so poorly, tell him to sleep in another room or on the sofa. I would not want him near me.

Hopefully he will get the same symptoms as you are having, DO NOT help him in any way, the nasty bastard

Breakfast club starts at 8am. He can easily get them ready and drop them off on the way.

Yes he’s been at work all day. Yes I know he’s tired. But I haven’t eaten for two days and I’m too sick to cook. He’s supposed to care about me.

He sounds like a selfish arse.

Oh, this reminds me of my exh. The situation is not the same, I mean you were sick and needed to be cared for but I think that both of them are same kind of narcissistic people who only can care about themselves.

One night I was washing the futon cover and it just dried and I was putting it on when my exh came from work. I always do this on my own, but anyone who ever did this knows what a pain in the butt it is to do. I was so happy to see him and asked if he could help me. Omg, he gave me such a dirty look and said, "Really!!! What would you have done if I did not come home early?" I was speechless. This was early on in our marriage when I still loved him very much, but I felt so hurt and could not explain his behaviour. It took me almost two decades to leave him, but by the end I knew for sure that he was a selfish prick and wish I had left him long time ago.

I am not telling you to leave your husband, but this is definitely a red flag. That is all that I am saying.

No OP, you shouldn’t have to tell him but you need to spell it out to him that you aren’t well enough to do the kids so he needs to be stepping up, reducing his work hours if needed to allow him to do so. Have the direct and forthright conversation with him.

He sounds like a nasty piece of work - get better and then make plans to leave.

What did you make the kids for dinner?

What a nasty piece of work he is OP.
He is your life partner, who is supposed to love and care for you yet he doesn't even have the common decency to look after you and help you when you are ill.

I hope you are feeling better soon OP.

When you feel better decide if he needs to put up with his terrible life any longer for him. Kick him out xx

You’d have told someone you supposedly love, who has been quite seriously ill, to make their own dinner because you’ve been at work?

Sorry op, he’s a shit.
I’ve had a nasty virus for weeks and my dh has been so caring.

Treat yourself to a divorce in the New Year.

Is this supposed to be a gotcha that she isn’t as sick as she says she is? What an unpleasant person you are.

My mum brought them home from school and made them a curry tonight. I don’t know what they had yesterday, I was delirious in bed. I presume my mum fed them because she picked them up from school.

Can you go to your mums for the rest of the week and leave him with the children?