If you're an older woman (say 45+) do you feel invisible?

[Wordau]

Just wondering if you feel "invisible" as the trope goes or whether the tide is changing? And who are you invisible to - everyone or just certain people?

And if you feel invisible is it shaming, or liberating for you?

Interested to hear what others have to say before I offer my own perspective!

So the other day I saw a younger lady wearing a really lovely jumpsuit. I commented on it as I passed her in the pub thinking she might find it a boost, but she looked at her friend as if “weirdo”. Maybe I am too old to be cool but was this weird? I’m 45. It’s okay to talk to strangers in my hometown lol. I don’t mind being invisible either…

I’m 35, I wouldn’t say ‘invisible’ as such. But I no longer get pestered and approached or leered at by men like I was ten years ago (thank goodness) idk if that is a sign of changing norms but I suspect it isn’t - I’m sure the latest generation of young women are experiencing the same harassment.

Yes so much so I'm joining MI5.

I'll be fab.

Less visible than before. And I really like it. It is much easier to move in the world as someone who doesn't draw the attention of the sort of men who catcall, much easier to be an age where if you are pleasant and friendly to someone they do not assume you are desperate to have sex with them.

I’ve put 3+ stone on and I’m now invisible. My husband loves me and finds me attractive but it does make me feel sad. I think it’s low self esteem, feeling the need to be validated

Yes I do sometimes and I hate it.

No feel more visible than ever with every year, feel like I’m finally part of the adults club and everyone talks to each other. Definitely feel more part of the community.
So according to people on here, is everyone older just ignoring each other? I just don’t see that

Yes I’m 46 and I have noticed a massive difference in the last couple of years.

people who I assume would fancy me or flirt with me, completely and utterly ignore me.

mainly men 20s 30s and even sometimes 40s.

it’s always quite disheartening because I instinctively assume I’m going to be flirted with and I’m completely disregarded.

it doesn’t bother me on an individual basis- but if we’re out as a group with work is when I notice it most.

It’s called middle aged, not older. You can be young, old or neither of the two, which makes you middle aged.

I really hate this generally accepted notion that women over 25 or 30 or whatever are ’old’. Fuck that. I’m middle aged and proud.

Do you look after your appearance? I’m mid 40s and get more attention than ever, lots from men young enough to be my son.

Not in the least bit inivisbile to those who matter to me, that is family, friends and women my own age.

I agree Ranchrat .
I am 59 and the pivot around which my family turns .
I am the centre of my universe.
Why are we judging our visibility in whether men notice us?
But then I never really attracted much attention when I was younger .

I once caused a car accident !
Literally a car smacked into the back of another one because the first driver was so busy looking at me . He admitted it .
That doesn’t happen nowadays - but nearly 60 .
No idea if I’m invisible and the best bit is …..I don’t care .

I'm 48. In terms of invisible to men... TBH I always have been and thank God for that! I've not felt a change as I've got older.

Professionally I seem to work in a fairly age-blind area, both before I changed jobs and now in my slightly different field. I've not been at a management level and it my recent and current roles, I've been in teams where my job-seniority peers vary between their 20s and 60+. I did worry if I might experience ageism when I was last job hunting two years ago, but I didn't sense it was an issue.

No I feel fat. I wish I was invisible 😂

In seriousness I got my colours done professionally and it tackled the feeling invisibless which crept over me in the pandemic.

I've also started on highlights having never dyed my hair.

No. 47 and feel as visible as I have ever been, I suppose I don't get catcalled anymore but that is hardly a yardstick by which to measure visibility.