If you're an older woman (say 45+) do you feel invisible?

[Wordau]

Just wondering if you feel "invisible" as the trope goes or whether the tide is changing? And who are you invisible to - everyone or just certain people?

And if you feel invisible is it shaming, or liberating for you?

Interested to hear what others have to say before I offer my own perspective!

I got a lot of unwanted male attention until I started pushing a pram around, which I noticed rendered me invisible.

I still get looks, doors opened for me and compliments from men in my 50’s but I’d rather they didn’t as I’m not interested in men liking me. I’ve my DH and a few male friends but I don’t want any male attention. I’m not sure if I’m invisible because I don’t care, so not looking out for it.

It’s liberating being older and not caring.

I feel invisible but I like it. I can be a bit like Miss Marple and know what's going on everywhere. Nobody takes any notice of me. I don't actually knit, but I'm basically that person who knits in the corner and sees everything.

No, I don't feel invisible, for example, in a restaurant, I don't allow myself to be ignored. I ensure I receive decent service.

I no longer have to put up with sexual comments from men generally, which is nice, although I still get occasional sneery comments when I'm out running.

I think the main thing is I love being 60, it's great fun, and I have no intention of aging quietly. 🤗

Early 50s here, no one is walking into a lampost these days when I walk past but I did get a lovely smile off a much younger man in the supermarket as I walked past last week. I chose to think it wasn't because he'd mistaken me for his gran.

In general no not invisible but I do find people randomly talk to me more now than they used to which is nice.

No, still feel very visible and I love it 😊

Who doesn't love getting compliments about their clothes, hair, make up - I sometimes forget I'm in my mid 40s 😯

I even find my adult children leave me out of conversations, not in conscious way but talk amongst themselves and even if I have some knowledge of the subject pass me by. One to one they are fine...

At 45 I got asked out a lot still, by men of various ages (I was taken but it didn't seem to put them off, obviously I turned them down) but now in my early fifties I don't get that anymore which is quite nice as it was all awkward. Do get leared at when out running but that's because I'm speeding past at a distance and they can't see my jowls (I look forward to this no longer happening too).

I'm 70...

It's all relative. I am 46 and feel very very visible.

Four years ago I was getting chemo and I looked like a caricature of someone dying of cancer. People honestly couldn't make eye contact.

Now I walk down the street, I smile at everyone, most of them smile back.

Nope. Men can be so sleazy . I had workmen come on to me just last week. Find being female so hard sometimes. And it pisses me
off .

I don’t care about being visible to anyone except my loved ones.

I lost parents and close friends in their 50’s and 60’s so I am just very glad to be here at 53 and grateful my loved ones are happy and healthy.

Older woman at 45?
OP!
😂
No, I definitely don't feel invisible, because I live my life to preserve myself, so to speak.
On the other hand, since I hit about 42, I really don't want any attention, sometimes not even from my husband!

Aged 50 I have gradually moved from the subject of the gaze - to the person observing. I am
so happy about this. Someone said above that with age comes the mastering of the invisibility cloak - I can take it off and command attention of if I want to, but 95% of the time I'm happy to slink along. I feel powerful at work and able to hold my own in any social occasion.

Not in the slightest. Probably more confident now than I ever was and confidence is very attractive.

I don't feel invisible, in fact I would say I get far too much attention at 51, especially from younger men.
I can, however switch it on and off. If I dress down, I disappear.

I'm almost sixty and have had two people compliment me on my outfit in the last month, but this morning I was followed up the road by a Dad and small child and the child said "that is an old lady". Thanks kid for bringing me down to size. At least it was from behind, and I do walk with a stick, if he had been coming towards me and said that I'd be mortified.

Older at 45???? Pfffp. I am not quite 50 but certainly do not feel in the 'older' category and certainly not invisible.

Work wise definitely visible. I feel stronger in my career than ever (I'm sixty). Invisible to men? I don't know and I don't give a f*. As I have got older I have grown into myself and it's lovely. I'm no longer hesitant or a nerve wracked people pleaser. I feel like a warrior.

I'm 45 and I've been invisible for a while, but I don't seek attention and I take advantage of the fact that I can get away with things and not be scrutinised. I love to eavesdrop and people literally have no idea I'm there.
I don't think I've had a man approach me for at least a decade, I probably put out unapproachable vibes too as I've been happily married/pg/with young kids during that time. In my teens/20s I was often approached by men.
But strangers are generally polite, offer seats and open doors etc so not invisible in that sense.
Work-wise I'm fairly invisible but I like being under the radar, and coasting works pretty well for me so I embrace it.

😂Are you wearing a lanyard or a high vis vest?

Wish I was invisible! 🤣

Just wait until you’re 71…..

Ime it's only happened to me in London restaurants when dining alone. Twice and on the same night. One place gave my table to a small group when I went to the loo after ordering. They had several tables available too and had let me choose where I wanted to sit. Another wanted to shove me in a dark corner with no view like my experience didn't matter and they didn't want me seen. I walked out of both.

I have a pair of visible boots and when I put them on, I appear to men. It’s like that cloak in Harry Potter, but in reverse.

You’ve got me imagining all sorts now! Thigh-high patent leather? Leopard print DMs? Or a really cracking pair of fishing waders?

I need to know! 😂