He’s cheating! Caught him out shocked!

[Stunnershaz]

Hi everyone this is my first post so please be easy with me. I’ve been married for 20 years to dh and have 5 beautiful kids. Our relationship like everyone else had its ups and downs yet we stuck together through it all. If u ask if im happy I would say im secure and now made this life which is fine. Last few years have been tough as seeing changes with dh for example not answering my calls, staying out late and just generally not giving me much attention. Our sex life doesn’t exsist which doesn’t bother him and to be fair I didn’t make a big deal due to him feeling embarrassed about his ed.
I had been having a feeling he might be cheating but I tried ignore this and try carry on with our lives. He’s very protective and feel like he would question everything to me but I’m very laid back and just let him be which could be my fault.
last week I don’t know what made me do this but I seen his Snapchat pop up a few times and he just kinda ignore it and turned phone over which I found weird. I went and made a fake account and added him to it( what was I thinking) I don’t even know why I did it but the feeling just kept coming to do this. Anyway after a few hours he added me and said hello. I said hello back and he asked me where I was from so I kinda just went with it and made up a character. He then asked me for a picture and he sent his picture straight away. I asked if he was seeing anyone and he said no he’s divorce with no kids!!!! Wtf!!! I was shaking and just logged out. He came home from work like normal and I just carried on like normal. I don’t know what do with this information? I can’t confront him as I’m terrified about breaking up my family yet I can’t go on like this knowing he is doing this crap. He’s sent a message today saying let’s meet up wtf! I’m such a mug! I don’t even have the balls to confront him as he will turn this on me

God, was there ever a work meeting in the first place?! I'm so tempted to give you my social media details so I can wind him up

OP if your kids are older like you said, teens, they will get a choice about seeing parents. Don't fret too much about that side of things. I think you need to be seriously getting out of that house and relationship ASAP.

What meeting? So he can go in and out of work as he pleases yet can’t do anything for me

Ask him if he has met anyone else from Snapchat and when his last relationship was - pretend to not understand much about dating apps etc see if he divulges more information

He’s asked for a other picture but I don’t have another one so told him just wait for Monday and he can see the real me and he goes can’t wait!

What a dickhead. So sorry you're going through this

@Stunnershaz from what you describe you’ve been in an abusive relationship for a long time and have been coerced to act in a way so as not to ignite his temper.
Do you think you are in danger if you go ahead with this plan to meet him?
If you are then stop and make a plan to protect you and your kids. Keep safe but leave this bastard of a man.

I'd be tempted to reply back with the other half of the photo he'd cropped you out of.

I'm so sorry you've discovered he's a dick OP.

He asked if I was single I said I’m off and on with a boyfriend and he goes that’s fine wtf! He asked if I had kids I said I have 2 kids and he’s like Awww how nice and asking how old they are and their names wtf

He has no respect for me!

Turn up with a weekend bag packed and divorce papers .

How can I sit there today when he comes home and act like normal

😂😂😂

That would be amazing. Op, bring a few Mumnetters with you for emotional support. We'll just hang around in the background in case you need us.

You are all so lovely guys thanks for the support x

I don’t think you can so feign a headache and go to bed! I would explode and not be able to contain myself tbh.

He should be home for 7 but feel like double locking the doors and chucking his clothes out

Give him his very own Babooshka moment à la Kate Bush:

She wanted to test her husband
She knew exactly what to do
A pseudonym to fool him
She couldn't have made a worst move
She sent him scented letters
And he received them with a strange delight
Just like his wife
But how she was before the tears
And how she was before the years flew by
And how she was when she was beautiful
She signed the letter
"All yours
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya
All yours
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya"
Ooh (Babooshka)
She wanted to take it further
So she arranged a place to go
To see if he would fall for her incognito
And when he laid eyes on her
He got the feeling they had met before
Uncanny, how she reminds him of his little lady
Capacity to give him all he needs
Just like his wife before she freezed on him
Just like his wife when she was beautiful
He shouted out
"I'm all yours
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya
All yours
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya
All yours
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya"

Crossed out the lyrics that don't pertain...

Just to echo a PP. Send him the message saying youve shown his photo to a mate who's said she knows his wife and that he has 5 kids. Tell him he's a dick and that you've sent screen shots of his message to the friend and then block. If he's abusive, all this isn't worth it. Then watch him sweat.

If then you want to confront him, send yourself the screen shots from a made up account and then say something about it. You can't be blamed then.

@hepsitemiz if I ever need to dump for a similar reason , I would print this out and email or text over as my H is a big fan !!

I think dont rush anything, get your ducks in a row!! If he owns everything this could be very tricky, you dont want to shoot yourself in the foot. Plan it. Stealthy. Like a LTB ninja

Hi @Stunnershaz I'm not sure tricking a violent controlling man is a good idea. Can you confide in a friend and plan your escape? Sounds like you need to keep your wits about you.

The house being in his name makes no difference. You are married and that means it belongs to both of you.

you are my hero

He will be in shock if he ever knew this! I need be clever about it. He’s just message me saying work is very busy can’t wait for few days off for Christmas like wow!!!! Knowing he’s planning on cheating on me

He sent me this message so he can cover up for Monday and get it in my head that work is busy! He really has played me big time