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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He’s cheating! Caught him out shocked!

684 replies

Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 14:51

Hi everyone this is my first post so please be easy with me. I’ve been married for 20 years to dh and have 5 beautiful kids. Our relationship like everyone else had its ups and downs yet we stuck together through it all. If u ask if im happy I would say im secure and now made this life which is fine. Last few years have been tough as seeing changes with dh for example not answering my calls, staying out late and just generally not giving me much attention. Our sex life doesn’t exsist which doesn’t bother him and to be fair I didn’t make a big deal due to him feeling embarrassed about his ed.
I had been having a feeling he might be cheating but I tried ignore this and try carry on with our lives. He’s very protective and feel like he would question everything to me but I’m very laid back and just let him be which could be my fault.
last week I don’t know what made me do this but I seen his Snapchat pop up a few times and he just kinda ignore it and turned phone over which I found weird. I went and made a fake account and added him to it( what was I thinking) I don’t even know why I did it but the feeling just kept coming to do this. Anyway after a few hours he added me and said hello. I said hello back and he asked me where I was from so I kinda just went with it and made up a character. He then asked me for a picture and he sent his picture straight away. I asked if he was seeing anyone and he said no he’s divorce with no kids!!!! Wtf!!! I was shaking and just logged out. He came home from work like normal and I just carried on like normal. I don’t know what do with this information? I can’t confront him as I’m terrified about breaking up my family yet I can’t go on like this knowing he is doing this crap. He’s sent a message today saying let’s meet up wtf! I’m such a mug! I don’t even have the balls to confront him as he will turn this on me

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Mymanyellow · 13/12/2024 14:54

Arrange to meet up with him. Give him the fright of his life.

Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 14:55

Can u imagine that lol

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Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 14:55

I’m just so hurt as always trusted this man! It’s like I don’t even know him

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wizzywig · 13/12/2024 14:56

Your moment of bravery has scared the crap out of you! I'd be so tempted to carry jt on

Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 14:56

How can he come home and act like nothing is going on! I was making out tea and wanted to smash it in his face lol

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Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 14:58

I don’t even wanna cry I just feel gutted and sad for the kids and more so I’m just thinking maybe i don’t love him either it’s like it’s just confirmed it for me

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CagneyNYPD1 · 13/12/2024 14:59

I would be tempted to keep the conversation going to see how far he is willing to go. Ask questions about what he does with his free time etc. His answers will be v interesting.

If you confront him, he will just explain it away as fantasy messages. No real meaning to them.

But if he sends dick pics...

2chocolateoranges · 13/12/2024 14:59

Definitely arrange to meet him.

ask him questions eg, where is he from, what does he work as , when his last relationship was etc , just so you have a few more details before you actually meet him.

Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 14:59

He sent a picture where he cropped me out like how dare he

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CagneyNYPD1 · 13/12/2024 15:00

Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 14:59

He sent a picture where he cropped me out like how dare he

The fucker.

Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:00

I found a picture of a woman on google lol and he goes your so beautiful I would love to do stuff with you like who is this man!!!!!!!

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TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 13/12/2024 15:01

I'd arrange a meet and turn up. There's no way out of that shit.

Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:01

i just have this horrible Pitt in my stomach and when I see him I just carrying on like normal as how do I play this

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TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 13/12/2024 15:02

Arrange a meet sooner rather than later so you don't have to keep a lid on it.

MissMoneyFairy · 13/12/2024 15:03

Keep m3ssaging then send a friend of yours he doesnt know to meet him or arrange to meet him then stand him up, ask him how his evening went when he gets home early. Why didn't he just send a selfie, seems weird he hasn't got a photo of just himself.

Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:03

i just told him we will meet up when I find some free time and he goes make it quick! He’s so forward with the messages and I just can’t belive he said he’s divorced with no kids

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Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:04

It was a selfie I took of me and him in the car and his picture came out really nice so I know why he sent that

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Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:04

What a mug I am

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Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:05

I’ve been such a good wife to him how can he do this

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MissMoneyFairy · 13/12/2024 15:06

What do you want to do, how old are your children, take time to think about what you'd like for your future.

Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:08

What I really wanna do is chuck his arse out but the reality is I’ve been too good to this man never questioned him and done everything for him. I’m hurt

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Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:08

I’m angry at myself for doing this aswell.

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Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:10

I know I’m put abit of weight on with Covid and just been in sweats most days but I didn’t actually think he would do this! I made a account thinking I’m going look stupid and will delete it and not think anything of this

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Stunnershaz · 13/12/2024 15:11

If I confront him I think he will get quite abusive as he will be so mad I did this so that also stopping me from confronting him

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ChesterFoxE · 13/12/2024 15:11

I’d be tempted to teach him a lesson by dragging it out & becoming a psycho stalker….

I know where you live kinda thing…..Snapchat him pics of his car or where he’s been! Really freak him out!!

But seriously……do it!!!