Who is likely the father ?

[Coolbabygirl2]

Hi everyone

This is a no judgement zone and I’d just like everyone’s thoughts as I am unsure and just extremely anxious and it’s causing me stress.

On January 13th 2024 I had a period that lasted until the 16th January.

On my period tracker app, it states that my ovulation date was 24th but changed to 25th (or the other way around). My fertile days were 21st Jan until the 27th Jan 2024. During this time I did an ovulation test on the 24th and 25th Jan but I still ended up having unprotected sex and ended up pregnant.

Mr A - we had unprotected intercourse and he ejaculated inside me on the 1st of Jan, 9th of Jan, 17th of Jan and 23rd of Jan at around 9/10pm.

Mr B - we had unprotected sex on the 19th of Jan and 29th of Jan but he didn’t ejacutlate inside me on the 19th of Jan.

My baby was born on 12 October 2024 due to being induced early. My EDD was 19th Jan due to period calculations and my final EDD from my first scan was the 16th of oct.

I do see a lot of similarities in the baby to Mr A and so do my friends and family.

Mr B, not at all, but I’d still just like to have a peace of mind.

me and Mr A were a thing but used to mess up so we’d make up and break up a lot in a small space of time. However, then he suddenly switched on me whereas mr B it was just a fling here and there whom I only slept with twice.

I know I am stupid for this, I feel it, but I just want to know everyone’s thoughts.

thank you

Babe, looks like you messed up big time

As to why taking a DNA test would put you in harms way I can only begin to imagine )

May I suggest you redirect some of your online attitude towards sorting out your life and especially your approach to contraception and I think you’ll be good to go from here on in !!!

Congrats on becoming a mother!

I’m totally judging you! Just ew, raise your standards love.

LOL this thread is great

No judgement for getting pregnant, but 100% judgement on how childishly you’re handling things, from wanting to wait until you’re in the right “headspace” to do a test (literally not about you) and how you’re replying to people here asking legitimate questions. You sound very immature, which is not a very good reflection of you or your ability to maturely parent

I know you’re all enjoying making snarky comments but maybe consider the young, stressed mother reading these comments whilst trying to look after her young baby. Think what you want but I’m not sure why it’s necessary to comment it.

The young stressed mother is biting the heads off people asking valid questions on a thread that same young stressed mother started. Don’t ask for advice if you can’t be level headed enough to handle hearing things you don’t like, and maybe know who you are having a baby with!

If you’re mature enough to have unprotected sex & have the baby that results from that, you should be mature enough to answer questions normally and not resort to childish “comebacks”

I've read it babe. My opinion still stands

No, you generally ovulate around day 14 of your cycle (assuming regular 28 day cycle), so 2 weeks after start not end of period, which would make the dates about right.

It also says so much that OP is spending hours replying to people on this thread in a snarky way instead of, you know, taking the advice given, going away and doing something with it

You know nothing more then anyone else regarding the op age & stress levels. She might just be a really selfish childish adult and not "young"

I assume you've worked out she's young from her incredibly childish responses?

And by the way .... I had my first baby young. I've got kids to different men. No judgment on going with different guys in a short period of time. But when there's a potential pregnancy you take responsibility. Use condoms. If not, arrange DNA tests. Make sure you're accountable as a mother. You owe that to the kid as a base minimum.

I don't think you can know without a DNA test. Until, then I think you need to tell both potential dad's that theirs a chance the baby is their but that it's 50:50. I know your saying that you'll do it in your own time but while your waiting for your own time your baby is growing and missing out on having a relationship and building a bond with their father. Time is something that you can never get back. The sooner you do it the sooner those relationships and bonds can be forged.

I’m guessing the IP’s school has already broken up for Christmas….

I am aware that there are STD's and STI's floating about in the world. I get tested regularly and I am very serious about these sort of things.

I don't really understand what you mean here. How can you be "very serious" about preventing STIs if you've had unprotected sex with two different men in a very short space of time? That's got to be opposite of taking STIs seriously, surely? Being tested regularly won't stop you from catching an STI in the first place.

Calling posters 'babe' and 'girl' makes you sound immature and idiotic. I feel sorry for your child if you don't adopt a more benevolent attitude. People here have responded to you in good faith, and all you've done is respond in a sarcastic, childish manner. Grow up.

I'm glad my son knows about contraception so he can't be tricked into fatherhood.

OP would be right at home on an episode of Jeremy Kyle if it was still around

(Originally in reply to @Throwawayusername3, it just didn’t quote)

Sounds like Mr A but you can never assume even though it seems most likely. Definitely get the DNA test done as soon as you can then you know where you stand going forward in regards to getting support (whatever form that takes). Have a chat with you HV or midwife (if they are still visiting) about a birth control method that suits you best then it’s one thing less to worry about. Good luck and enjoy your first Christmas with your baby.

She’s not being harsh, STI’s can damage you forever. Having PID is awful believe me and can leave you unable to have children.

And none of us are perfect but sleeping with 2 men in the same week and it using any protection is kind of stupid? 😬

Obviously none of us can tell you who the father is….only a DNA test can do that.

I just want to know everyone’s thoughts.

My thoughts are... that you should just get the paternity test done.

Especially since, per your post at 03:31, you currently have two men thinking they might be the father, one of whom isn't. This is extremely unfair to both of them.

Such a weird thread. I can't work out why someone would go to the trouble of tracking ovulation but not bother with contraception on multiple occasions?

My guess is she just wanted a baby. She said she was off and on with Mr A so could have been thinking a baby would fix things between them, or she just wanted a baby regardless and these two men were willing and ready to have unprotected sex. I normally wouldn’t think that of someone but with her outright hostility to being asked to explain, it makes sense.

She said she was using ovulation tracking as birth control - but anyone with a brain knows that because the human body can be influenced by all sorts of things and change at any given moment, this is not reliable

OP, you’re getting the responses you are because what you’re saying doesn’t make sense. You’ve said that you were using ovulation tracking as a form of contraception, but then you decided to have unprotected sex multiple times in your fertile window. People who use ovulation tracking as contraception use it in the exact OPPOSITE way to this. You’ve said in a comment that you were being ‘careless in the moment’ so what does that mean? You knew you were fertile but just thought you’d risk it? You were caught up in the ‘passion’ i.e. so horny that you just didn’t care?

Surely you can see why so many posters are accusing you of wanting to get pregnant. You knew you were fertile, and you chose to have unprotected sex, multiple times. 99% of people choosing unprotected sex when they know they’re in their fertile window are doing it because they WANT a baby. If you honestly, hand on heart are saying you didn’t want to get pregnant, then you have been incredibly naive in deciding to have sex, not once but multiple times, when you knew you were fertile.

To answer your question, based on the dates you’ve provided it sounds likely that the baby is Mr A’s, but as many previous posters have said, it’s essential to get a DNA test, that’s the only way you can be certain. And you owe it to your child and its potential father to be certain.

She has a point , though.
Some nasty antibiotic resistant STI’s are about now - Look up tertiary syphilis and that could be the case again with antibiotic resistance.

Don’t forget that the OP thinks tracking her fertility will stop her getting pregnant even if she knowingly has sex on her most fertile days, so logically, being very serious about STDs will prevent you from getting them. bit like holding a pomander to your nose so as not to catch the plague I suppose.