A woman made a pass at DH - Need help writing a text

[GirlInterrupted]

I want to send a beautifully written text to the woman who touched and proposed a BJ to my DH last night. I want to say wtaf, stay away from any social gatherings we will be at and leave the WhatsApp group.

Hit me with your best ones please

I feel sad for the partners of the people on here that are not willing to fight for what they have built for years. Knowing that your partner doesn't have your back must feel really shit. It's just, there you go, you're a big boy, sort your shit out, really?

They're being mature adults. Why do you need to fight for your relationship? This woman clearly is not a threat to it, why do you think that she it? He doesn't have any shit to sort out either. He's done nothing wrong, and dealt with the situation appropriately when it happened.

Nothing to be achieved by raking over the coals now, other than creating more aggro. Grown up thing to do is just avoid the horrible woman forever more. Don't engage, because that's just dragging yourself down to her level in the drama generating stakes. She doesn't deserve your energy.

So everyone knows that everyone knows.

You could just send her a polite message saying you know what happened and you no longer consider her a friend, and that you would like her to stay well away from you at any social occasions. Or wait until you see her and say it face to face.

If you don’t say anything then she will think that he hasn’t told you, and might even build that up into something in her mind.

Years ago, and old friend of mine tried it on with my DH, shortly after I’d started seeing him. He didn’t actually tell me until a couple of months afterwards though as he didn’t want to create drama.

I hated the fact that I’d seen her in that time though and that she knew that he hadn’t told me, and it felt as though they had been keeping a secret from me in a way.

I didn’t fall out with her but the next time I saw her, when we had a minute on our own, I told her that he’d told me what happened, and I said it quite calmly and nicely.

She was very embarrassed and apologised and said that she was very drunk. I left it there and didn’t bring it up again. I knew that he wasn’t interested and that he never would be, so that was that. We aren’t close friends anymore though (and we were before, since childhood !). The friendship has cooled off for many reasons; I just couldn’t see her in the same way anymore. I am polite when we do see each other though.

Good for you for saying your piece to the desperate little rat.

And a text from the wife, or the beating so many women are fantasising about (in which the OW never has a few retaliatory slaps, smacks, punches, leatherings or whatever of her own) will solve this?

If you're that sure that she's an eternal slapper who has a massively inflated sense of self despite constant rejection, desperate, has an alcohol problem and no boundaries, a specific kink etc, what on earth is the point of an angry, hubris-ridden text? If her purpose is to interfere in the marriage, she'll probably take it as a win. Because if you truly believed all this about her, that she really was utterly pathetic and ineffectual, and truly didn't see her as any kind of threat, you wouldn't be expending so much energy on her.

I remember Francie and Josie 🤣 no apologies, required . Rikki Fulton was pure dead brilliant ..Reverend IM Jolly etc and I remember one of his jokes as the Rev . I’ve used the line to describe my ex ‘s other women…’if she had another pair of legs, she’d open in Edinburgh’

If you think you can’t go to prison for sending a text, you’re the stupid one. Suggest you check out the Malicious Communications Act 1988 and more recently, Part 10 of the Online Communication Act 2024

😂

Sometimes fantasising about giving someone a slap is cathartic. Working through anger in one’s head hurts no one. I’ve ripped through a lot of OW in my head but been perfectly civil face to face.

Personally, I was just reacting to the Glasgow reference and recalling former times when the men were hard and the women harder and how it would have gone down…

I just re read that 🤣🤣, but in light of the topic, I’ll leave it

No one goes to prison for sending one text in a civil domestic disagreement like this.
What’s funny about this thread is women are doing this every day, deliberately encroaching on someone's marriage; it’s common. DP has had this happen numerous times. He asked one, why?
"Because I always get what I want," she replied.

Someone else said that all these public fantasies about "leathering" women, slapping, punching and beating them up, are actually just a kooky sense of humour that I'm not quirky or, apparently, Glaswegian enough to understand (I didn't say it, they did). Now it's wholesome group therapy.

Glad to know that whatever they are, they're rooted in healthy mindsets and have nothing to do with misogyny or feeling threatened on some level. Yes, I know she hit on married men. I still think gleeful, lengthy discussions about how much she needs to be beaten up for it, by other women, are misogynistic, especially if it's true that the men all told her to fuck off anyway.

See, to me I would be wondering whether I had a DP problem here. What is he doing to make other women think they might be in with a chance?

Get yourself a marriage you don’t have to fight for would be my advice. Life can be much more peaceful and lovely than throwing around the word ‘slapper’ and fantasising about wrestling another women in the street like a low-budget soap opera. ✌🏻 perhaps you don’t want that, though.

People seriously think someone goes to prison over a text? Mate, they’re chucking people out of prison early because they’re bursting at the seams. 😂

I can unequivocally guarantee you that nobody is going to prison for texting someone who was trying to get into her husband.

I’m sure there’s an element of misogyny towards women who target married men and some will feel threatened ..not saying anyone on this thread comes under those categories and if anyone is, that’s their business.

I loathe such women. I think misogyny towards them is perfectly justified. I also loathe the men who will dive right in, then lie and act the victim if found out.
However, I’ve never reacted towards the women in my life. I just made my escape, hoping he would pick one to replace me, so she could have my life, which wasn’t the life she thought I had. That would be the best revenge for me, I thought. To be fair, I don’t know what they have done. I moved away and let it go. It ceased to matter once I was actually out.

I never had the husband who would refuse an offer. If he had, I’d have been delighted to accept he had seen her off and hopefully we could have a laugh about it.

It’s got nothing to do with misogyny, it’s a buzz word that is used to shut down dialogue. To be about misogyny it would have to be gender specific, and we all know that majority here would think the same about a man who did the same, and the amount of men who would most certainly send a text at the very least if it was some perv trying it on with their wife. Very clever using buzzwords to shut down dialogue, but they don’t hold water as it has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with a hatred of disrespectful pervs who attempt to destroy the lives of other people.

I've not thrown around the word slapper. I would and have told women to stop.
It's a shame some women cannot accept that other women don't always have respect for others relationships.
There is no girl code.

Then they bear the consequences of that disrespect don’t they. Either by a strongly worded message, or for some they would want to give that person a hiding, or a public humiliation. They don’t get protected from their choices just because they have the right to be disrepectful, everyone has the right to be disrespectful, but generally there will be consequences

That is funny, blaming the husband because some slapper fancied her chances.

If you are female, has a man ever given you unwanted attention? I would bet, unless there is an obvious reason, you have had to put many a man in their place.

When that happens, do you blame yourself?

It's because some posters cannot accept that women aren't the bastions of virtue they're made out to be on this forum. Although men and women do this.
Attention is one; a blatant offer of sex is another. The op has every right to say to the other that that behaviour is not acceptable.

It's because some posters cannot accept that women aren't the bastions of virtue they're made out to be on this forum.

Are you new here? Hell, are you new to this thread? Women get pulled apart all the time and ironically, despite the ostensible man hate, it's never worse than when it's an OW (or would-be one), when it is in fact the man who's responsible for where he puts his dick because nobody can break his vows but him. On this thread alone, when the husband did indeed fuck her off, we've still got people gleefully fantasising about punching her face in, leathering her and so on.

"Betty", huh...

I’m sure there’s an element of misogyny towards women who target married men

Yes, there probably is. Does that make encouraging woman on woman violence acceptable? When she wasn't even successful?

I never had the husband who would refuse an offer.

Well I'm truly sorry about that, but it was his responsibility. You can't accept his promise to you then start holding everyone else responsible for it.

If he had, I’d have been delighted to accept he had seen her off and hopefully we could have a laugh about it.

Yes, that's the point. If you (generic, not necessarily you personally) didn't find her a threat you wouldn't be fantasising about smashing her about, encouraging such dialogue or somehow excusing it, or trying to warn her off. She'd make her move, he'd tell her to fuck off, and the job's done. What's more, she'd know that he chose to tell her to fuck off because staying faithful is his choice, not something his wife strongarmed him into.

Sure it has. I don’t blame myself but I also don’t need my husband to fight for me. I handle it myself. It mostly occur with strangers though. If it was repeatedly occurring in my personal life I would wonder what I could do differently (e.g., quietly remove those people from my life and invest my time in better relationships). No scrapping in the street or texting people required! I rather than the fighting and threatening and carrying on is the outlier here.

"Misogyny" isn't a buzzword, ffs. It's the term for woman hatred, and fantasising and glorifying about women beating each other up over men is pretty damn misogynistic.

So would I! I probably wouldn’t because I’m fundamentally law abiding, but I’d at least want to tip a drink over her head.

In my experience many blokes feel very awkward dealing with this. As a female HoD I’ve had to have a few conversations over the years with female students who had tried their luck with young male lecturers, including ones wearing wedding rings. In some cases the behaviour was in front of my eyes. In other cases they had sent cards, letters or emails which were very incriminating. Not one of my staff involved were able to laugh it off - they were all embarrassed.

No it’s not misogyny. You can attempt to force the definition of misogyny but as it’s not gender related, it fails. It’s no more misogyny than it would be misandry/ chauvinism for a man to label name call and want to beat up a man that propositioned his wife or girlfriend. This topic is women being disgusted by another woman who is disgusting, if it was a man they’d feel the same. Purchase a dictionary and learn to use words properly because stupidity doesn’t strengthen an argument.

misogyny: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

many people dislike many other people. Certain criteria need to be met before you can start calling that misogny, chauvinism, racism, etc

sounds a bit thick really doesn’t it:

you feel anger towards a woman who has behaved in a vile sexual manner towards your partner- you hate women! Pathetic