A woman made a pass at DH - Need help writing a text

[GirlInterrupted]

I want to send a beautifully written text to the woman who touched and proposed a BJ to my DH last night. I want to say wtaf, stay away from any social gatherings we will be at and leave the WhatsApp group.

Hit me with your best ones please

@SaagAloopa you can't offer to suck off a married man without facing consequences/questions.

Consequence= husband said no and will presumably now avoid her of his own accord as he'll feel uncomfortable

Well.. this didn’t go the op thought it would! Nor I! I’ll have a think of a witty/cutting text op

Don't be daft, you'll look bonkers. He's not property, and if he's a cheater he will cheat with anyone. Laugh it off next time you see her. ' we know where to come for a threesome Carole'

Did she know he was married/in a relationship for definite?

Plus, if soap operas are anything to go by she might see it as a challange and pursue him more

Few people, yes, but I have been aware of this type of behaviour more than once and it’s been due to mental instability/trauma plus too much alcohol. Some people shouldn’t drink, although don’t know if this was the case here.

Actually I get it. I don't think the Op is necessarily worried about her DH accepting either.

Its just a rude thing to do. Op wants to call out bad behaviour. If the woman had been pestering DH to give her £50 all night it would have been the same thing. Don't be an annoying CF.

This is exactly the case, my DH did tell her to get the fuck, but she's done it before with another DH and will do it again! Time she needs told

Message her in the group not privately so everyone can see what she's like

Yes I would be wondering why this woman thought your DH would be OK with this.
Does this woman generally show a lot of interest in him and does he recipricate?

Sending a message to this woman smacks of you thinking he is your property. And looks very much as though you are insecure in your relationship.

I think you should instead be talking to your DH about what happened and making sure you are both on the same page as regards boundaries.

Ok I see. Right. How about:

Hi CF, your behaviour last night made DH & I very uncomfortable. Please don't proposition either of us sexually again as it creates a hostile atmosphere. Thank you. Merry Christmas.

I would just message her to let her know you're aware of what she's done and to stay well away from you - I'd be telling the rest of your group/friends what she's done too.

Dear x, DH told me about your embarrassing behaviour last night. Clearly we are never going to be friends if you have no respect for my marriage so please stay well away from me from now on.

We have someone in our social circle who is married to someone who everyone likes and it an old friend. She has done this to most of the men in the social circle and has been called out on it but just denies it and says people are bullying. So they just don’t get invited places any more because it’s a liability. It’s a shame because she is actually nice when sober.

Let's face it, it's a scuzzy low class move, she's done it before, it lowers the enjoyment of future events because of HER inappropriate behaviour and appreciation of boundaries.

It needs addressing as a group, stating I don't want to go to social events where my partner is sexually harassed seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Why? She made an advance. He said no. That appears to be the end of it. Why do you need to be involved?

Yes I think if it is addressed from a the behaviour is sleazy and inappropriate way. Like you would if a friend was generally a creep

You sound pleased?

Would you honestly brush off someone saying inappropriate things to your husband ir wife. What if someone seriously propositioned you? I think my husband would probably find it quite funny, proud someone else found me attractive and a bit pissed off in equal measure.

OP won't look bad at all for messaging and it absolutely doesn't make it look like she's saying DH is her property

Someone she knows well enough to be in a group chat is disrespecting her relationship by doing this. It all comes down to the wording you use in the message though but I'd be messaging and making her as uncomfortable as possible. Especially if she has form for doing it to others.

It's not like it's a random person on a night out who doesn't know you or DH

If you know her personally I would definitely message her and say what the fuck are you doing asking my husband if he wants a blow job?

“Fuck off you desperado slaggy tramp” or something idk 🙄

Leave it OP, you’ll make yourself look insecure. If you see her out, you just give her a knowing look and I’m sure she will be hideously embarrassed and probably leave anyway. Sounds like drink was involved if she was that brazen !

Exactly this! She was completely disrespected by this woman and has a right to say something!

"As a friend, please may I suggest not offering bowjobs to other people's husbands and boyfriends? It's giving you a reputation as a sad and desperate woman and some of our gang are starting to pity you."

It sounds like she either has an alcohol problem or some sort of mental health issues. Not normal behaviour at all. I'm not sure saying anything to her will achieve much, she has demonstrated she has no grasp of normal social boundaries. I would probably share with my other friends what she's done though. It might be that she is just naturally ejected from the group that way.