A woman made a pass at DH - Need help writing a text

[GirlInterrupted]

I want to send a beautifully written text to the woman who touched and proposed a BJ to my DH last night. I want to say wtaf, stay away from any social gatherings we will be at and leave the WhatsApp group.

Hit me with your best ones please

You would all be screeching about running to the police if it was a man who had done this to a woman. Sexual harassment etc etc.

I agree there @BitchBrigade

Also the fact we are told again and again that men who stand there passively when they see another man harassing a woman simply support the action of the man. They agree with what the man is doing/harassement by not saying anything.
And yet we’ve reversed the role and when a woman wants to stand up fur her DH, she is accused of all sorts.

It’s very weird to me.

😬

Eh? Who would be screeching anything? From time to time, people will received unwanted attention and unwelcome advances. It's only harassment if the person continues doing it when they've been rejected.

Why does OP's husband need protecting? This has nothing to do with HIS protection, it's about OP being defensive because she feels threatened or that something of hers has come under threat.

Wind up merchants used to be so much much more fun. In the old days they could strike that delicate balance between looking like total tools but also staying just about plausible and not overegging it.

Now it's just all clumsy and try-hard and overdone.

I think it's a lost art. I blame social media. It's full of such blatant rage bait and infinite scrolling, there's no motivation to do it well any more.

No she wasn't, nothing was done to her, it happened to her husband who dealt with it, he is not her possession or child. So many women on MN are controlling in their families.

I can’t believe the amount of people who wouldn’t say anything! If my friend propositioned my DH she would definitely be told what I think and I certainly wouldn’t be hanging around with her again when she has been so disrespectful.

Oh really? There are actually plenty of people around like this who have zero shame and respect and would take their chance with someone they fancy, despite not getting any signals.

To those who don’t get why she would need to text, it’s the height of disrespect for her to do that knowing he was with someone, and especially so as they socialise together and are on WhatsApp groups, of course she needs to make it clear to her, nothing to do with her not trusting her husband!

"If you are not embarrassed by your behaviour, I and my DH who told me of your 'offer' clearly are. This is not the first time that you have been rebuffed. Stop this conduct immediately, or it is extremely likely that you will be removed from our friendship group. Whilst I have no doubt that he spoke with you himself, clearly it has not been enough to have two rejections and it is affecting our choices as to invite you further. Consider your conduct. "

Subtext:
He told me
I know of previous occasions
It's not welcome
You're embarrassing yourself.

PS - I agree, it's not about being his 'gatekeeper', it's about the disrespect shown towards you, the relationship, AND him. Pissed or not - knock it off, love. 🙄

When did us sisters start dog-piling each other? This is a woman who on the face of it isn't 'jealous, insecure' or anything else: some people need to be told STRAIGHT. DH probably did, but SHE needs to know that he's told her. That's what makes them a couple. That a strategic move that lets the other party know that there's no divide to infiltrate.

Well said. Shame there's not a 'like' option on here 😁

Virtually all the suggested texts are really cringe. As for sending them to the group WhatsApp, why on earth would anyone put their other friends in such an awkward situation?

Texts are an awful way to respond to an emotional situation. If you want to say anything to her, @GirlInterrupted , have the courage of your convictions and say it face to face. And keep it brief so that it doesn't turn into an argument.

Calmly, quietly, but with a chill in your voice: "DH told me how you behaved at the party. Our friendship will never recover from this" ... and then walk away or turn your attention to something/someone else. Do it with dignity.

Facial expression, tone of voice and body language add SO much more to the interaction. And you're neither being cowardly nor involving others in an awkward situation.

Wow you have some really low standards for friendship. How would you feel if one of your good mates tried it on with your husband? Even if you trusted your husband 100% and she was an ugly munter, you'd be fine to carry on the friendship? I don't think so.

edited As mis understood post.

What if she denies it OP? Do you know 100% that your husband is telling the truth?

Sounds like she has the morals of an alley cat. I’d want her out of the group too. And would make sure every other person in the group knew she was sexually harassing your DH. How embarrassing for her - I would be surprised if she would want to even stay in the group.

Would you want someone in your social group who has a zero moral compass, and who is at worst a sexual predator? At the very least other people in the group should be told so they can also decide whether they want her friendship. I’m betting the majority will ostracise her too. She sounds pretty vile.

Drop the 'friend'. Block her on all social media. Blank her if you bump into her.

You don't need to say anything to her, as she'll know exactly why you're doing it.

Don't message her - it'll only make you look pathetic and insecure.

I understand why you want to text and I don’t know of I would or not. I would probably tell her how hurt I was by her behaviour and that she has let me down as a friend. Where is her self respect? Asking a man if he wants a quick BJ? Uergh! It isn’t and never has been ok to come onto peoples partners and force sexual attention on anyone.

Some woman did this to DH at a close friend's Christmas party. I was 6 weeks postpartum. He was in the kitchen and when I walked in she practically had him pinned to the wall. I grinned at him and left them to it.

Apparently she bluntly propositioned him. Suggested they snuck upstairs with the clear idea that I would catch them. She knew about the baby. He turned her down repeatedly but she wouldn't take no for an answer. Initially he was just a bit annoyed but as she persisted he got really angry. Then he had a brainwave.

Said "Prawn would be really up for this. I'll just ask her to get the toys from the car."

This was the last thing she wanted. She left so fast it was like she vanished.
He then wcomplained that I hadn't rescued him earlier. I laughed and told him he was big and ugly enough to look after himself.

We told our hosts and they dropped her like a stone. As they are very popular with a wide circle I'd imagine being excluded would be uncomfortable. Fucking hope so.

Did you get that from ChatGPT? Very mechanical and clunky. Consider your conduct? lol
Hey! Alexa I need a mumsnet answer that sounds both sassy, and fierce and references conduct…

Maybe she is just more articulate than you?

A woman is prepared to go behind her friends back and have sex with her husband, and you think that wife has not been disrespected?

You must have some very odd friends.

Is anyone here Irish? We would 111000= be having words with this hoor🤣

These types of people have either been brainwashed to believe that true partnership is toxic codependency, or they are like the woman in the OPs post, happy to take the benefits of a relationship, but don’t want to be “owned” by anyone, by which they mean, not accountable to anyone. If you’re in a solid partnership you 100% are accountable to one another, and if anyone disrespects that bond, the other partner has every reason to feel disrespected, and angry,

Yeah we would go in and bate the head off her. The fucking slapper