DP has been left an estate in a will ...

[spidersnope]

First off I've got no interest in anyone else's money , I'm just questioning what future complications this could throw up for a couple.

Between leaving his ex and meeting myself my dp has been left an estate , around £500k

Good for him. However the will stipulates that should he marry the spouse is to receive no benefit from the estate .

We're only a few years in and I've got no intention of moving in together or marriage just yet but this kind of puts me off.

So A. How would this work realistically and B, how would you feel about this?

The person with the will is still very much with us so this would be something far down the line hopefully

Bloody hell there are some obtuse "but how does it affect you / what does it matter?" responses on this thread.

IF this odd will arrangement ever comes to pass, presumably OP's partner will want the money? Which means, in the meantime, that he won't marry OP.

Everyone knows that it is not a good idea to cohabit long term, with someone you intend to stay with until death, without being married. Don't they? I mean ... don't they?? Come on!

You don’t want the money
you can’t have it

how an earth could you solve that problem

If she is erratic enough to have written this condition into the will, it is likely she will change it somewhere along the way anyway so I wouldn’t give it too much thought.

I know this type who are constantly talking about their will as a way to try to control people now. She'll change it again a dozen times before she dies.

You and your boyfriend should be living your lives now without any thought for money that may, or may not, be inherited in 30 years. It's ridiculous to try to factor in someone else's whims.

I think you should have this deleted and re-post it as you're in a relationship with someone and their ill-health co-dependent friend is trying to control them via their will/estate.

It’s a bit off topic but I hate the phrase “gold digger”. It’s misogynistic. People refer to gold diggers but not to fortune hunters - this man is talking about a potential inheritance (from a friend close in age, which is a bit weird) and is dating a woman who only has a small mortgage. There is a good chance he is a fortune hunter.

He could rent the house. He could leave the house to his children if he had any with his ex?

More fool him if he allows money to control him. I did wonder if his family liked the op.

I think it’s really odd you’re deciding so many things that may or may not happen anyway on the basis of someone else’s will.

Never mind I’ve just seen the waterfall of a drip feed!

The Will doesn't say he can't marry. It says his spouse can't benefit from the estate. Which I don't think is even enforceable anyway because once money comes to you it is yours to do with what you want. All Will-lady can do is say "if you get married you don't get my money" but that's not what she's doing. He can still marry and get the money.

It's all bollocks.

This
Also, I agree that the proceeds of the estate should not be shared with spouse( current/future)

The woman isn’t even dead, this is such a non-issue. Just get on with your life, if she leaves her money to the dogs trust so be it. If she leaves it to your DP it’s then up to him what he does with it. She can’t come and take it back from beyond the grave!

The massive red flag in the room is the fact your DP is telling you all about this. Why is he telling you instead of dealing with her? They sound as bad as each other.

I was having that exact same thought!

The woman leaving him her estate is 55. He's mid 40s. She might outlive him.

Where does it say she is in ill health?
She's not.

Who in their right mind would want to be with someone who's happy to go along with such a condition, that they get to keep £500K and knowingly agree not to share it with their spouse. What sort of life would that be. It isn't the money it's the attitude.

but the more I think about this scenario the more I doubt it's even real. Highly dubious.

I can understand someone thinking ahead like this as ultimately most people want money to follow the bloodline to grandchildren and so on.

My parents for example, want their assets to come to me, then my kids and not end up going to DH who could in theory go off and marry again after I'm gone and not leave anything to my kids.

Unless the person leaves it in a trust, they can't dictate what happens to the funds after they have been distributed though, I would be surprised if they've actually spoken to a solicitor yet.

I do understand why you started this thread to try and get an idea of the legality of all this, and I get the drip feed which is far more relevant than the original question. I also love some of the answers from pp who didn’t even bother reading the first couple of lines of the op before answering)

The issue you really do need to consider is your DP is very enmeshed with this woman even if it’s been much less than initially and you’ve had a throw away comment that her health isn’t great (which could mean anything). Considering how they were in the early stages of the relationship you really need to consider how he will react in the possibility that she does get ill, is she expecting him to care for her and would he take on that role?

Make sure you prioritise you, if the relationship makes you happy that’s all that matters, you sound financially secure independently so this will is irrelevant it’s all just more enmeshing with someone who I fear will always be a spectre in your relationship.

a) Nobody inherits anything until the will is finalised after the person dies
.
b) Care home fees could swallow up the whole lot

c) Ignore the whole scenario as a random guilt trip

Wow! 12 pages of comments on a total non issue!
That's good going OP 🤣

Whoever it is who has written this will really doesn't want their relative being hurt again.
I think your partner needs to put this will out of their mind and live their life as they wish to. The person whose will it is may well write a different one and leave nothing to your partner after all. Or they might see you happily married and change it to remove the stipulation.

Or they might become obsessed with another younger man and change their will again.