MIL comment about money - feel hurt and just a bit odd

[ShatOnAndrew]

DP is likely to come into some money next year. We were chatting with PILs about it.

I made a comment about flouncing from my job and being a lady of leisure.

MIL said "Oh you're coming into money as well are you?" and did a sort of cats-bum face.
I laughed it off and said "I wish, I'm sure what DP gets will do nicely"

I can't put my finger on it but it really hurt me. It felt like she was suggesting I'm gold digging (sorry, terrible phrase). Me and MIL have always got on well - we're not close but no falling out or anything.

It's really niggling at me. I know I need to just leave it. I'd look like a loon bringing it back up now but I can't shake this horrible feeling.

Sorry, not sure what I'm actually asking here. Just needed to vent a bit.

@ShatOnAndrew if I were you, I would take from this thread, that although you and your husband think 'partner' best describes your 'equal' status within your relationship, most people don't, when it relates to assets and money.

The whole point of marriage is a legal contract so that finances/ assets can be distributed should the relationship break down.

Maybe but if I was giving a 6 figure amount to my child, I would want a say in how it was used and what for.

If their partner wanted to give up work, that's fine but I would not want them using those funds to live. Unless it was agreed etc.

These aren't just general "financial arrangements" if it is funds which have been given.

Maybe but if I was giving a 6 figure amount to my child, I would want a say in how it was used and what for.

There's absolutely no suggestion that the PIL are given their son any money?
He's selling his own business. It's fuck-all really to do with them.

@ShatOnAndrew I made a comment about flouncing from my job and being a lady of leisure.

Would it not make more sense for you to stay in your job and for DH to become a man of leisure, given that it's his money?

The MIL is not giving the money though?! Where the hell did you get that idea?

Where on earth did you get that from?

OP has not said that it is her PIL who are buying a chunk of her DP's business, only that her DP has sold a chunk of his business. It makes no sense to leap to that conclusion either as they asked her DP how much the sum he'd sold was, if they'd bought it, they'd bloody know!

I would hazard a guess that OP working solidly providing a stable income is in part, what has permitted her DP to build a business worth selling in the first place.

There is no indication this is a family business handed to the DP from FIL/MIL either.

It literally has nothing to do with the IL's at all and they only know how much it is because they asked!

Why would it?

What if they want to spend their 6 days a week of leisure time together, doing stuff? Wouldn't make much sense for one of them to be at work for 5 of those days would it.

Would it not make more sense for you to stay in your job and for DH to become a man of leisure, given that it's his money?

Some married couples do actually like each other you know.

You don’t need to be an “old dear” to be a Mil. Just so you know.

@WiddlinDiddlin Why would it?

Because it's the husband's money.

Why would OP take the money and use it to become a lady of leisure, when it's not her money? It should be the husband's choice to become a man of leisure instead.

I'm not sure why I am having to explain that people have their own money.

Sorry I'm a bit confused - is it actual enough money for you to be a lady of leisure?

Why would OP take the money and use it to become a lady of leisure, when it's not her money? It should be the husband's choice to become a man of leisure instead.
I'm not sure why I am having to explain that people have their own money.

So if you came into enough money that you could both do little or no work, you'd still expect your spouse to work full time, because it's your money not theirs?

Would you not actually prefer that they spent their time with you?

I literally can't imagine DH being like off you pop to work while I sit here relaxaxing.

As you've been together nearly 20 years, and married for 11, it really was not a nice comment of hers. Whether she likes it or not, it's yours too. In the same way that when she didn't want to work, her husband's salary supported her.

you arnt married?

technically its his money, that is why she is probably a bit pissed

She is married. It's in her follow-up posts. Married for years.

Am I the only one who laughed at the MIL pulling a "cats bum face" proper pissing myself and can just imagine her lips all pursed 😂

I think in all honesty I’d have had my CB mouth too. 😼No one likes to feel their Dc is seen as a gravy train.

So many jealous and nasty arseholes on this thread, pretending they wouldn’t give up work if their spouse of many years came into money.

DMIL is jealous. Nothing else to be said. Enjoy being a lady of leisure op.

Don’t be so obtuse 🙄

Are you talking to yourself?

I don't understand what you're saying. It's the husband's money, so it's his to use and spend as he wants. What made OP think it was her money?

Just saw on one of your older posts that you’re a man. It all makes sense now. 💩

He's your partner, not yoir husband. It's his.

@shuggles - you are wrong, legally it is their money as OP is married to her DH. They have been a couple and married for years.
If they were to divorce, this sum of money would be part of the financial settlement for both parties. Why do I have to explain to you that legally, the court would see it as a shared asset?

OP has already explained the circumstances of why she said what she said. Her DH mentioned to his parents that he would be getting a significant amount of money from selling his business and OP made this 'lady of leisure' quip. Her MIL chose to react how she did. It has nothing to do with PIL, OP and her DH can spend the money however they like.

It’s quite a sexiest thing to say, why do you get to give up work and not him! Plays into the sexiest trope of women being supported by men.

@TorroFerney you might want to edit your post