Please, please be gentle because I am honestly at breaking point and cannot go on like this any longer.
NC for this!
Last year myself and my two older DC, then 18 and 20, went through absolute hell, due to my DH gambling and enormous financial implications of that. We were all under enormous pressure, and as you can imagine there was incredible stress and my mental health was in tatters.
DC and I argued a lot and things were awful. I understood it was hard for DD, but she didn’t help at home and just carried on as normal, parties, clubbing and showed no concern, which is what we mainly argued about. I barely saw her or heard from her for six months, despite constantly trying. I continued to pay for a lot of her stuff.
She eventually came round and moved back home, split with bf and was quickly in a new relationship. The thing is she still blames me for the 6 month period, and every time we have a disagreement she throws it all back at me. The slightest argument causes her to leave home for at least a week, refuse to take my calls or messages and totally ignore me. I have to beg and beg for her to return home and apologise over and over. Then it takes weeks for her to agree to spend any time with me and again I have to plead.
This is now in full swing with her having left again over an incident last week. Her bf wanted her to collect him and three friends from a night out in the city, which meant her leaving at 10pm to make the hour’s drive. She had to park in a very dodgy area to wait for them to arrive. Her car is ancient and I was really worried. I told her I was unhappy about it, but she said it was fine.
i called her to check she was ok but no reply. I messaged to tell her to let me know when the boys arrived and she said ok. An hour later I had heard nothing! I messaged her bf on messenger but no reply. Tried calling her many times but nothing. I put a post on his fb asking him to call and still nothing. She eventually called me two hours later furious telling me I’d completely embarrassed her. She’d ignored her phone due to being annoyed.
I have spent the last week literally begging forgiveness. I apologised to her boyfriend, I called and messaged but she is still shutting me out. We had a night out planned on Saturday but she wouldn’t go. I called her today and she messaged “I’m busy” I asked to chat later and got “I’ll be with my bf”
She has also let me down several times lately after we’d made plans, once choosing to go out with friends and not tell me until half an hour before.
I truly think she does not want me in her life and I am absolutely heartbroken. I do not even know how to fix this.