Grandparents on partners side treating my 2 kids differently.

[Halloween24]

I’ve two children. One is from a different relationship but partners parents been in her life since age 3. She is 9 now. Anyway the grandparents will make an effort with the youngest (biological (although not a huge amount of effort)) but basically nothing with her. They make a lot of effort with their other grandchildren. I know she isn’t biological but this doesn’t sit well with me at all and I’m not sure what to do. It’s not on that she is left out and it’s really making me dislike them.

What would you do? I know I have no control over how they behave.

She has no contact with her fathers side and I’ve lost my parents.

@DurinsBane

Daughter, not Son. Sounds like her BF is a dad to get eldest in all other ways apart from legally and biologically. Not ‘nothing’ as your comment says.

Sorry - but why not Legally ? I would feel VERY differently about a non biological child of my son's partner . Than I would to my Daughter-in-Laws child and sons step child.
Neither Son or his partner have any legal ties to each other. Yet want the 'titles' .. My son's biological child is not subject to the same feelings because he is my son's child. End of.

As I said . Sort themselves out with some form of permanent legal status and perhaps his parents will have a different attitude. I know I would.

But of course, OP: they are, as grandparents, like they were as parents. Your instinct is right, imo: trust it. Don't let anybody come between your two children: put all your effort in building a strong sibling bond for them. It's one of the best presents a parent can give to their children.
Parents who set their children against eachother via scapegoating, playing favourites or the subtler way of comparison are emotionally inmature and self-centered. They harm their children in order to have control over them.
Trust your gut: your children, their bond and your bond as a family come first.

Exactly that and it just shows how little attention people pay toward existing children when they decide to have a new family. You make sure your children are accepted first, then you give yourself a green light to get married and have more children.
OP I can only validate your feelings of disappointment and agree it's a very sad situation but I'm not sure what can be done. You can't change them .

You can’t make them care, that is true. If they are being rude or cruel to your child you can decide that is not behaviour you will tolerate in your own house and stop visits. Your daughter has a right to feel comfortable in her own home.

They can of course see bio GC at their home with her Dad to minimise opportunities for bad mouthing you and modelling inappropriate behaviour to their bio GC. Hubby will have to grow a pair and deal with his own parents.