What is fair for DP to contribute towards home I own?

[Namechange98457]

I own my own home, partner moved in 4 years ago before we had our DS. I pay the mortgage, he pays all bills. Food/things for DS is split equally. We don't pool wages every month, but we do have a shared bank account.

When it comes to repairs or improvements to the house, what is fair for him to contribute? As if it puts value on the house, he won't get any return from that and I will, but he is living there and it is our home, which I don't want to go to ruin and it does need money spending on it to make it nice and liveable for our DS.

At the moment, I am paying for all the big things like a new boiler, masonry paint, guttering fixed etc. These are very expensive and it's a struggle to do this on my own.

Is it fair that I pay, or do I ask for something towards it, as he lives there?

Or do I ask him to come onto the mortgage with me and we split everything down the middle.

What has he been doing with the money he has saved?

If I wasn’t on the mortgage and had no financial interest, I wouldn’t be contributing to home improvements. I would also be splitting the bills, not paying all. I would be putting the equivalent savings into a joint account, then looking to either buy somewhere together, or buying in to the property at some point in the future.

Don’t put your home at risk in case of a split.

Get proper legal advice.

Sorry just seen you have a child together. I would definitely be looking to share family money and have some security in the property if I was your partner. Or you could just get married (even just a quick registry office thing), and split everything.

So he gets to live rent free ? I don't see how that is fair.

It’s your own and you aren’t married so the bills are on you I’m afraid. He’s already paying for his portion of the bills so any maintenance or improvement to the property is yours to pay.

Just to clarify, mortgage is low at 500 a month and bills comes to 300, so it's near an equal split.

It's fair because the asset belongs to her. Plus he pays 100% of the bills, which I don't think is fair to him!

I would be looking at buying another house in the future with him anyway, so thought why not give me half of what I have paid into this house now and we can split everything.

But maybe that isn't sensible.

It's your asset, you pay for it. Your mortgage is tiny and you aren't paying any of the bills (!) so you have a sweet deal. Why would you want to share your asset with him if you don't need to?

Do you think me paying the 500 and him paying the 300 for bills isn't fair?

What's the point? When you sell you'll have a nice easy transaction with your own lump sums that can be ringfenced. Why mix things up now?

Not really no! The mortgage is your debt because the accumulation of equity is also yours. The bills are half your responsibility and half his. You've got him paying half your expenses.

Well it’s not fair is it? You have an asset that is going up in value. He is paying money for bills and you also want him to contribute to repairs on a house that he has no financial interest in?

I have to agree. You should be paying half the bills. If you aren't then you pay for the house stuff yourself. Different if he wants a new tv or something as he could always take that in the event of a split.

What do you think is fair for him to pay to live there? Considering we have a DS as well.

He would pay around 400 a month if we rented the house together.

If you were married then my answer would be different but for this house, you should pay repairs so that he has no claim on this property.

When you buy together, you can ring fence your deposit and start paying half of the mortgage each (assuming that you’re not going to get married)

So he should only pay 150 to live in the house?

I make sure I pay 100% if all repairs and maintenance on the flat I own and he lives in with me.

We would share the cost of say a new tv.

I don't want any quibbles over ownership.

He lives rent free in my(though no mortgage anyway) so yes he does well but I also have reduced other costs -as we pay those bills 50/50. -tv insurance council tax elec etc plus food.

Half the bills. Are you trying to charge your partner rent??

If the bills are £300 then yes. Why do you think he should pay more? Are you trying to profit from him?

In this situation, my daughter remortgaged her home, putting her partner on the new mortgage, with a trust that ring fenced her original deposit and the contribution she'd already made to the equity on the house through the original mortgage.

Makes sense except in this case they are planning to sell and buy together in the future so that's a lot of faff and paperwork that can be avoided

Haha you seem quite argumentative. No I am not trying to profit off him. I am asking what is fair and I feel that 150 to live in the property is low in my view, but I am open to what other people think.

It's a struggle at the moment to own a home. have a child and pay for and arrange for all of the repairs on my own. At the moment, I feel a bit like a landlady. But I also see that I am getting an asset out of this which will be go up in value.

Ideally I would like to own a house together, which is hopefully we can do in the future.

He shouldn't pay anything for repairs and upkeep if he has no financial interest in the property.
The bills/childcare etc get split 50/50

If he's not going on the mortgage and all the equity is yours then no, he shouldn't be contributing to the mortgage and he would be a fool too. You cant have it both ways, to keep the house in your name but to expect him to foot the bills. If the situations were reversed and he was in your shoes, people would accuse him of financial abuse. He's a bit silly though, he should be buying his own place to give him some security, no way would I be in a situation like that.

So yes, if your bills are 300 then you split them 150 each and split all the other costs like food, things for your child etc.