What is fair for DP to contribute towards home I own?

[Namechange98457]

I own my own home, partner moved in 4 years ago before we had our DS. I pay the mortgage, he pays all bills. Food/things for DS is split equally. We don't pool wages every month, but we do have a shared bank account.

When it comes to repairs or improvements to the house, what is fair for him to contribute? As if it puts value on the house, he won't get any return from that and I will, but he is living there and it is our home, which I don't want to go to ruin and it does need money spending on it to make it nice and liveable for our DS.

At the moment, I am paying for all the big things like a new boiler, masonry paint, guttering fixed etc. These are very expensive and it's a struggle to do this on my own.

Is it fair that I pay, or do I ask for something towards it, as he lives there?

Or do I ask him to come onto the mortgage with me and we split everything down the middle.

I think, given he lives there as does his son that he should be paying half the bills and also something towards the mortgage as while it is your asset - it is currently providing a home for him and his son.

But in the long run it would be easier if you bought a home together with your deposit ring fenced.

He sounds like an absolute cocklodger.

I know teenage students paying more than £300 a month in living costs, and that's just for them, not for half the cost of a child as well.

Where else would this bloke be able to live for £300 per month all in??

If he was paying you rent (as he should) then you could use that money to pay for house repairs.

He's not even paying the full amount of bills (you said it's £370 in winter and £330 in summer) PLUS if he moved out, your bills would be cheaper- 25% discount on council tax and less on utilities.

I agree that you should protect your asset and get something legal drawn up, but I can't understand all the posters saying he shouldn't pay more than £300 - many kids pay that amount to their parents in keep 🙄

I own my house and have 2 older children. I pay mortgage and bills myself. My partner owns a flat which is rented out and has an older child. He moved in with me and pays me 500 a month ‘rent’. It’s not based on any particular figures but just what he offered. I wouldn’t say it costs 500 extra to have him here though!
We will do this for a year or two and see how it goes and then hopefully look to buy together and keep one of the properties. We will ringfence any deposit then own as tenants in common so that it can be passed to our own children on death (and no care home issues either!).

Because he pays all other bills - she doesn't pay anything but the mortgage he pays everything else

I'm surprised by all the comments that he should only pay half of the bills. Surely he should be paying 'rent' or he is living somewhere for free! It's unreasonable for him not to pay anything. If he didn't have a partner with a house he would be paying rent with no return. He should be paying 50% of all bills and 50% of what rent would be. You should then save up pay for home improvements but maintenance like wear a tear paint ect should be joint as if you were renting you would have to pay to leave it in the same state as when you moved in

The benefit to get us that her bills are Halved.

Let's assume they are normally x they probably go up 25% when chap moved in but not doubled. He then pays 50%. So she is abit better off.

But also she gets to clearly show he is making no contribution to the mortgage. Else it can be argued he is doing that as he is overpaying the bills this that goes towards the mortgage.

Having any sort of legal argument about this is very very costly. Best to give no grounds at all for any argument.

Yes he gets a good deal. But he could also be chucked out of his home at any second. She is getting a good deal as she gets to keep 100% of her equity.

If you both work full time (or same amount of time and do equal childcare etc) then I'd split the bills in half. Then in order to have something towards the general upkeep of the home I'd charge him a nominal rent (eg. A lodger rate). With that money I'd start a maintenance fund. I agree that he shouldn't be necessarily paying towards improvements as such but if you need a new boiler and you're both using it then I think he needs to contribute to that.

I think it is fair because he's getting free accommodation. If he lived somewhere else he'd be paying for accommodation.

Yes. Just as you should be paying £150 to live in the house. The £500 you are currently paying isn't to live in the house, it's to own the house, and that's cost to you alone. The bills are shared debt, the mortgage isn't.

If he paid half the bills she would benefit from having half her bills paid :/

@MrTiddlesTheCat

Yes. Just as you should be paying £150 to live in the house. The £500 you are currently paying isn't to live in the house, it's to own the house, and that's cost to you alone. The bills are shared debt, the mortgage isn't
Ok then on that basis he should be paying for wear and tear on the property.
He should also be paying rent as it's not his property.
OP pays for her wear and tear and OP pays mortgage. So it's only fair he pays wear and tear and rent

Otherwise anyone living in someone else's house (girlfriend/boyfriend/adult child) and claim paying half the bills is all they should have to pay

@TheSilkWorm

If he paid half the bills she would benefit from having half her bills paid :/
Huh? So they are HER bills? So he isn't using water/electricity /gas/wifi?
They are THEIR bills. If he only paid half he would be covering his costs. That's not benefitting her

Partners are not lodgers. They shouldn't pay rent to the partner who owns the property - that means the property owner benefits from the appreciation of the asset AND profits from the partner essentially paying the interest on their asset. The partner paying 'rent' might be paying the same amount on a monthly basis but in fact they are paying off the interest while the 'landlord' partner pays the capital, thereby benefiting twice.

I think your current split is fair tbh. I know the logic behind other responses, that the house is in your name, but he would be paying a lot more than that if he were living alone.

That does mean that you are liable for the repairs alone though. That's your asset and you would have had the bill if he didn't move in with you too.

They would be if he didn't live there! Sheesh.

Bills don't go up by 100% when two people live in the house rather than one. Council tax goes up by 33%, water by pennies, gas and electric by a few pounds a month. WiFi, TV etc 0%. His actual costs are not 50% of the bills. The difference between him living there and not living there is probably around £50 a month max, not £150.

The difference in bills from 1 person to 2 people is tiny and often nothing at all.
Nothing for heating, nothing for WiFi, nothing for insurance, nothing for tv license.

I've been thinking about this a lot tonight as it's clear there doesn't seem to be a totally fair way.
How about...

Say your mortgage is made up of X amount to own the house plus Y interest.

X is your asset, so you pay that alone. Along with improvements that add value.

But Y goes in to the pot along with all the joint bills. And is split 50/50. Bevause Y is essentially 'rent'.

I think you should both be paying half of everything, unless he's signed something to say he has no claim on the property he would be entitled to a share should you split.

When I lived with my ex in my owned home I paid all repairs/upkeep, we split bills and the interest portion of the mortgage 50:50 and I paid all of the repayment aspect on the mortgage.

He pays all the bills with no financial security. That is a lot of money each month. Bills can easily be £1000 a month nowadays,

@MrTiddlesTheCat

So let's say he's renting a room then as he's living there what should he pay for that? You are being totally unreasonable l. His DC also lives there so what about maintenance?

We're in the same situation. DP moved into my home. We pay 50/50 each. This was at his insistence. Our 50/50 comes to £500 each a month, and he'd been paying £650 in rent alone before he moved in for a studio flat, without bills. So he was happy paying £500 a month as it was a saving for him, and said he'd be paying rent elsewhere so was only fair to pay a portion here.

He's been here six years now. In the past few years, he's paid for the drive to be done, paid 50% towards the bathroom, and most recently has paid out a high amount on building works and kitchen extension. His view is, even if anything happened between us, it's his children's home so he'll pay for it.

I will offset this by saying though, he does have his own house he rents out, so has his own asset, which I appreciate makes a difference, as he wouldn't be able to rent that out if he wasn't living here.

What maintenance?? He's already paying towards the costs of raising the DC. They aren't separated.

Lol, that was what I was trying to say and it took me three paragraphs of xs and ys 😂 yours is much clearer. I forgot the word repayment.

Which is fine.

As long as you are happy for him to claim a share of the property if you split up and have an expensive legal fight to defend any case. Or pay him off just to avoid paying lawyers.