What is fair for DP to contribute towards home I own?

[Namechange98457]

I own my own home, partner moved in 4 years ago before we had our DS. I pay the mortgage, he pays all bills. Food/things for DS is split equally. We don't pool wages every month, but we do have a shared bank account.

When it comes to repairs or improvements to the house, what is fair for him to contribute? As if it puts value on the house, he won't get any return from that and I will, but he is living there and it is our home, which I don't want to go to ruin and it does need money spending on it to make it nice and liveable for our DS.

At the moment, I am paying for all the big things like a new boiler, masonry paint, guttering fixed etc. These are very expensive and it's a struggle to do this on my own.

Is it fair that I pay, or do I ask for something towards it, as he lives there?

Or do I ask him to come onto the mortgage with me and we split everything down the middle.

If you break up, he'd be able to argue easily that you owe him a lot of money, and the courts would almost certainly agree that you do.

Wear and tear is legally the responsibility of the owner.

@burnoutbabe @VoodooQualities

When I took out my most recent mortgage, I was asked about anybody who lives in the property over the age of 18. The mortgage company then wrote to DP with a contract to sign, stating he waives his right to any claim in the property/money invested in it. I can't quite remember the wording in the letter, but him signing that was part of the terms and conditions of Virgin providing me with the mortgage - and he signed it.

Though, in all fairness, if anything were to happen, I truly would be fine with releasing equity to cover what he's invested. That feels morally right to me. I genuinely can't see him ever doing that, but if it did happen, I would be happy to.

Yes, she did. The trust wasn't cheap, but absolutely worth it, to have everything in place, agreed and sealed.

Hopefully they'll be together forever. And he's a thoroughly decent man of great integrity. But that trust is in place, set in stone, and it meant that they can go forward comfortably and fairly.

Same happened with my partner, they even made my 19 year old son sign one!

@PassMeTheCookies Ah ok well that's a vital piece of info you left out!

So that's maybe a declaration of trust, which is probably what @saraclara is referring to. Then there's also a cohabitation agreement. I had the latter with my now-husband because he contributed to my mortgage, and I bought him a car (I think declaration of trusts cover only property).

I'm not an expert but one thing I do know is that if your circumstances change then both DoT's and CA's can become invalid. Having a child together after the agreements are signed counts as your circumstances changing.

The mortgage declaration form only kicks in if you remortgage though.

I never did as I had savings offsetting the mortgage and then paid it off a few years later.

So on one hand it's much easier to show -he is not paying into the mortgage as I don't have one. But also I don't have the cash outflow of a mortgage cost so both of us benefit from low outgoings.

I do let him help me paint stuff if we are doing it ourselves but that's minimal -1 room touch up. I paid decorators when it was a few rooms plus ceilings.

My ex moved into my house. I paid mortgage, repairs, food etc. he paid monthly bills. When he left me for OW he tried to claim money from me as he claimed he had contributed towards the home. He got nowhere and left with his belongings in bin bags. I was left with DD and no money for her as he was self employed. I'm so glad that I didn't let him pay the mortgage. I think OP has to be very careful.

Apologies. I'd completely forgotten about it until you had mentioned him having a claim in it. Apologies

I have never understood on this site how many women think men should live rent free when they move in with a woman who owns the house. In no other situation would they live rent free. In my opinion it just encourages cocklodgers.

But we are the women who are doing it as we don't ant to risk our equity.

We'd advise men the same. Don't let your partner pay rent if you don't want any claim of you break up.

Whether it's fair or unfair is not the point. Legally you risk your equity.

Why would anyone not point that out.

If you want the extra cash then accept it and just take the risk. Your call.

Have you missed the many threads full of people advising an OP to not pay rent to a man who solely owns the house she lives in because its unfair? He pays all of the bills which are in no way £300 as OP says let's be real.

I don't think anyone should charge their partner rent if they own the property. I think sensible couples should agree that the non owning partner uses the opportunity to save and buy in to the property (or make their own investments, or just keep their own savings pot) as that benefits them both in the long run. Charging a partner rent if you own is profiteering. Not decent behaviour. There's an argument for sharing the interest charges 50/50 as suggested up thread but even that I think is dodgy.

@PassMeTheCookies no need to apologise! I didn't mean anything by my comment about you leaving it out. As long as OP is getting good advice that's what's important.

Others have said it now but @healthybychristmas , there are legal issues to consider. Cocklodger indeed. Nobody here is suggesting encouraging a man to be a lazy slob. Just that his contributions need to be managed correctly so as not to put your financial situation at risk.

You live together and have a child together so presumably plan loving together forever / until child leaves home.

Do I would, I think, work out some formula for him buying his way into the property and you two owning it as Tenants in Common with your respective shares (50/50, 40/60 % as appropriate) .

Then start a joint household and family bank account which you both pay into and which covers all household and joint expenditure, from gas bills to ice creams on a day out with your Dc.

Also a joint savings account for boiler emergency, holiday, whatever.

And retain your personal accounts and personal disposable income and savings.

The boiler emergency should be hers alone though.

But overall yes. My partner did of course offer to pay rent when he moved in. But i said no. Save the money you used to pay in rent into a savings account and that goes towards a deposit when we buy together. that was 14 years ago! So if we move, he'll buy into that place. (and mine already had properties he rented out)

of course you don't just invite any old guy who wants rent free living to live with you. You invite the man you love and want to live with, who is more than willing to pay his share (but you decline that offer as its simpler, legally, to not have him pay rent.

(of course its more complex if you also share kids and if lived away he'd be paying you CMS towards the kid? and you'd have a bigger place due to housing the child - so maybe in that circs him paying some extra towards the childs housing is more fair)

Your payment on mortgage is an investment. Normally, each pound you put into the mortgage is paid back to you when you sell the property. Only you will benefit from selling the property.

Bills are just expenses. There is no return on that investment.

So basically he is now paying 300£ with no return on investment, and you are paying 500£ with a 100% return on investment. That part is unfair.
Same with every bit of maintenance work in your home. All of these will add to the value of your home.

He's not your tenant, he's your partner. So he should not be paying towards your investments. Similarely, you are also responsible for the utilities. You use water, gas, WiFi etc. So you should be paying half of those bills.

I've been in a similar position and we decided that

• I would pay my mortgage on my own
• I would cover repairs and upkeep
• We split bills in half
• He paid me a fair and small sum of rent. Not half my mortgage, more like a quarter.
• When he did contribute more - we had it written down that I would reïmburse him when I sold the house or in the event of a break-up. Call it an intrest-free loan.

Yes, I did spend more money. I also got a large sum when I sold the house, whereas he got nothing, so that's fair. My capital grew, because it was in my home. His capital grew because he managed to save money.

So you feel he should pay rent. Ok then. He should do that. Market rate though. Not arbitrary percentage of mortgage because that's just weird and non sensual

Nonsensical

Yes, because I my case I had a roommate who paid rent beforehand.
My partner moved in and my roommate moved out, so my partner contributed something to compensate for the loss of income I had. And also because he was renting before and would have had to pay more if we continued to live separately.

If I had been living on my own and paying the mortgage on my own beforehand, I wouldn't have felt the need for my partner to pay anything. If anything, my monthly expenses would decrease a lot by my partner contributing to utilities, so I'd be better off financially with my partner moving in. Makes no sense to charge rent then.

He’s being housed for free and not housing his son.

He’s the beneficiary of this arrangement.

He pays all of the bills, he's contributing to the household as a whole, just not to an asset that's increasing in value that he will have no claim to. Seems fair enough to me, I would advise a woman in the same situation as him to do the same, on here she'd also be told it's fair she doesn't pay towards the mortgage.

I think the set up is fair as it is
your house is 100% yours and protected
he pays your share of the bills

I can never get my head round why people take money off a partner and jeopardise the security of the ownership of there home
so what if someone lives rent free in your home it cost you absolutely nothing

He should give you £500 a month, it’s irrelevant what it pays for. Suggestions of £150 are crazy! Where else can you live all in for £500.
do not give your asset away!

How can you bills be so cheap?
what did that include?

home insurance
council tax
water
gas / electricity
broadband
tv license
tv subscriptions

is that all covered by £370?