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Original poster

How sure are you that your partner/husband wouldn’t cheat?

179 replies

Gerithegiraffe · 22/10/2024 20:57

I have cheated in the past (on an abusive ex) but can hand on heart say I couldn’t cheat even if I tried on my husband. I spoke to him about it and basically said it would be so pointless anyway because I get everything I need from him (side note: not that not getting what you ‘need’ is any excuse for cheating, there’s NEVER an excuse for cheating)

i am prepared to be told I’m naive but I genuinely trust him a billion percent, and him me, and honestly feel like cheating is the absolute last thing he’d or I would ever do. I can’t really explain it but it’s a lovely feeling. I feel genuinely really sad on here sometimes when I see the amount of people posting about cheating partners and it just got me thinking how sure would you be that your partner or husband wouldn’t cheat?

OP posts:
Seeyouat7 · 22/10/2024 21:05

50/50 - he hasn’t met every person in the world and we haven’t been through every situation it’s possible to go through and he hasn’t been in every situation it’s possible to be in with another person. I trust him and I don’t think he would cheat but I can’t be 100% sure of course. I also don’t think I would cheat, the thought of even kissing another man actually makes me feel physically disgusted but I’m sure people who have cheated have felt the same until something changed and who knows if that could happen in my marriage. All I can do is trust us, trust our love, trust our relationship and hope.

BodyKeepingScore · 22/10/2024 21:05

I am absolutely 💯 sure mine wouldn't. One of the things that really attracted me to him was how much he values loyalty and honesty in his relationships with other people. We have a very clearly established boundary that god forbid either of us ever experiences an attraction like that to someone else, we'd leave before acting on it.

I could forgive a lot of things, but not cheating. And he's made it very clear that even if he forgave me on some level if I did it, he couldn't love me the same way and that would kill the relationship anyway.

Alwaystired23 · 22/10/2024 21:07

I don't think you can ever be 100% sure your partner would never cheat. I'd like to think my husband would never cheat, but you never know.

Jessie1259 · 22/10/2024 21:08

I was 100% sure he was faithful for 23 years, trusted him completely. Turned out I was wrong unfortunately.

SweetLimeSoda · 22/10/2024 21:09

I can't imagine he would but it is possible. Plenty of women who were 100% sure have had it happen to them.

Mickey79 · 22/10/2024 21:12

Everyone is 💯 sure that their spouse/ partner would never cheat on them. Yet infidelity is common. So basically, no one can be sure.

Bullaun · 22/10/2024 21:13

No one has the faintest idea what they themselves are capable of when put to it, far less another person.

Bullaun · 22/10/2024 21:14

Mickey79 · 22/10/2024 21:12

Everyone is 💯 sure that their spouse/ partner would never cheat on them. Yet infidelity is common. So basically, no one can be sure.

Gosh, I’m not. I think that would be deeply naive. And I don’t think it indicates anything wrong with my marriage, which is strong.

Muthaofcats · 22/10/2024 21:16

I think you only have to look at the number of sex workers in this country to get an indication of the amount of men they are servicing. Many of whom will be married to women who haven’t got a clue.

StarDolphins · 22/10/2024 21:20

I think there’s mostly there’s 2 types of men (not counting the ones that 💯 wouldn’t!)

  1. ones that will cheat given the opportunity
  2. ones that want to cheat but aren’t given the opportunity
YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 22/10/2024 21:23

I remember when I was 18 listening to my landlady boss telling me that they'd had to move from their last pub because some of the female regulars were telling her that her dh had kissed one of them/cheated on her with another etc, and she absolutely knew for a fact that he never would.

He'd already tried it on with me several times. Feels like a pattern I've seen a fair bit. I always knew my H could cheat. I just really hoped he wouldn't.

AnonAnonmystery · 22/10/2024 21:24

I can never have the comfort of being 100% sure, I won’t let myself as I don’t want the feeling of devastation and falling to pieces. Never be complacent in a relationship.

LetsRedecorate · 22/10/2024 21:26

I was sure for 18 years and I was very, very wrong. And it was with a friend so a double whammy. However I’ve seen too many women turning to man haters in this situation and it tarnishes all future relationships. So I trust until I am given reason not to. I did end up in another relationship and he cheated after four years, no indication anything was lacking. I just think some people find lying easy and prioritise themselves instead of others.

NotYourSaviour · 22/10/2024 21:27

I am doubtful that he would, but you can never be 100% sure. No one is completely immune to having their head turned, and he's ruggedly handsome even as we approach our 60s.

I'm still a sucker for a nice man trying to flirt with me, I can't lie...but I would never act on it. Not because I'm oh-so-perfect but because I can't be arsed. And I like my life and love my DH.

ZaZathecat · 22/10/2024 21:27

What I am 100% sure of is that if my DH of 35 years strayed he would tell me straight away. He couldn't hide it and would get ill if he tried.

tunainatin · 22/10/2024 21:28

If mine ever cheated I would be genuinely surprised along with all the other emotions. Not because he's perfect but because I just don't think that area is his weakness. Having said that, it's happened to so many people I know that I realise it can happen to anyone. Saying you've got a husband that would never cheat is like saying you've got a dog that would never bite. There is an underlying nature that can be triggered under the right circumstances.

BruFord · 22/10/2024 21:29

You can never be 100% sure. What you can do is make your views on cheating clear, i.e., that you'd end the relationship over it (if that's how you feel). Also ensure that you never take them for granted and I've found that showing some jealousy is a good way to head off trouble.

Even so, you can still never be sure.

LetsRedecorate · 22/10/2024 21:29

Also just to add I have worked with many men and out of those around a quarter were known to be actively cheating (as in seen out in public in compromising situations, with apparently’good and happy marriages’) so it’s anyone’s guess. Out of the women I’d worked with two had had an affair, though maybe women are just not as public with theirs?

Original poster
Gerithegiraffe · 22/10/2024 21:32

Sorry should’ve added. I had an ex who convinced me he would never cheat but something in my gut knew he would and he did and I wasn’t surprised. But my husband I have the same gut feeling he won’t. Don’t know if that makes sense.

OP posts:
MightSoundCrassButItsFactual · 22/10/2024 21:32

I am so glad life made me sceptic and sarcastic towards romance just before met my quite nice faithful husband

notatinydancer · 22/10/2024 21:32

You can never be 💯 sure. It's ridiculously naive to say that.

canyouletthedogoutplease · 22/10/2024 21:34

I think that if you counted all the people who are 100 percent sure their partner would never cheat, and all the people who are being cheated on, the numbers wouldn't stack up.

I'm not sure that there's anything I'm 100% sure about, life doesn't work like that.

AuraBora · 22/10/2024 21:34

Seeyouat7 · 22/10/2024 21:05

50/50 - he hasn’t met every person in the world and we haven’t been through every situation it’s possible to go through and he hasn’t been in every situation it’s possible to be in with another person. I trust him and I don’t think he would cheat but I can’t be 100% sure of course. I also don’t think I would cheat, the thought of even kissing another man actually makes me feel physically disgusted but I’m sure people who have cheated have felt the same until something changed and who knows if that could happen in my marriage. All I can do is trust us, trust our love, trust our relationship and hope.

Yes, absolutely agree with this.
I absolutely trust my husband but I don't think anyone can say their partner would never cheat, you just don't know what could happen. But it doesn't mean you can't trust then now.

betterangels · 22/10/2024 21:35

I am never 100 percent sure of anything.

Edingril · 22/10/2024 21:35

No idea other than this thread I don't think about it, as I haven't organised it for him I would be surprised but it is on him if he does not me so I don't waste time or energy on it

If he has in our over 25 years together he is incredibly good at hiding it as he can't take a sly biscuit without it being unbelievably obvious

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