How sure are you that your partner/husband wouldn’t cheat?

[Gerithegiraffe]

I have cheated in the past (on an abusive ex) but can hand on heart say I couldn’t cheat even if I tried on my husband. I spoke to him about it and basically said it would be so pointless anyway because I get everything I need from him (side note: not that not getting what you ‘need’ is any excuse for cheating, there’s NEVER an excuse for cheating)

i am prepared to be told I’m naive but I genuinely trust him a billion percent, and him me, and honestly feel like cheating is the absolute last thing he’d or I would ever do. I can’t really explain it but it’s a lovely feeling. I feel genuinely really sad on here sometimes when I see the amount of people posting about cheating partners and it just got me thinking how sure would you be that your partner or husband wouldn’t cheat?

I am 💯that my DH would never want to cheat, and the same goes for me.
I truly believe that even if the majority of men would cheat if they could guarantee getting away with it does not apply to him.
However no one knows what situations could arise, mental health issues, drugging/spiking incidents etc. so, even after a happy relationship of 30+ years, there is no complete certainty.

Yeah that’s the thing isn’t it. People might think it’s mad that both my husband and I have admitted to each other that we “could” cheat but it’s not because we want to or don’t love one another, it’s the opposite really we both acknowledge that it can easily happen and knowing that he’s aware of that and wouldn’t allow it to get that far gives me great comfort. I know he wouldn’t be gaslighting me with the “we’re just friends” “it was just a drink” “ she’s just having a hard time” shit that you so often see on this website because he knows thats all bullshit as well.

I really believe he wouldn’t cheat but like many other on this tread you just never know!

Apparently, 50% of men cheat (and a similar, slightly lower number of women). I really can't imagine my DH cheating, but I don't think you can ever be 100% sure.
Even the most seemingly devoted and decent partners can have secret desires and yearnings.
It's not something I worry about, though. If it happens, I'll be ok.

The more I come on Mumsnet, the less sure I am.

So basically half of the 100% sure people on this thread are with someone who has, is, or will cheat.

I honestly don't know how you can really believe that there's simply no possibility of cheating. You must be so hopelessly naive. Then again I guess I was so 🤷‍♀️

I would have bet you my last £1 - didn't cheat physically but certainly was well over my boundaries with one 'friendship ' emotionally -

I'm 100% sure he would never cheat.

I don't think anyone can ever say they're 100% sure their spouse would never leave them for someone else. I'm as sure as I can be on that front, but there's no way to be certain. But I can say 100% he wouldn't cheat.

I think most people could do most things given the right set of circumstances. You never know what life has in store.

I think everyone is capable of cheating in the right circumstances. It's naive to think they're not.

My DH is in the extremely unlikely category. Partially because he's got strong values. Partially because he works in finance and regularly sees the financial effect of divorce on clients & it terrifies him. Male clients like to tell him how hard done by they are. Also partially because he knows he'd have to step up and do everything himself with DC & not have freedom to come & go as I'd not be doing anything in his time to help.

We've been together a long time and had our fair share of trials and tribulations. I'm about as sure as you can be that he wouldn't cheat, ( I know I wouldn't). But, you can never be 100%, can you?

Or given the opportunity. It always astounds me how naive women can be. I've seen so many men chatting up someone at work. Yet they are perfection itself with their spouse. It's quite incredible really.

I think I'd be more likely to cheat than my husband but I never would. Not because I couldn't do it but because I have too much respect for him. That being said you can never be 100% sure - if he did chest it would be because he fell in love with someone not a one night thing.

I'm not with him. I divorced him.

My husband is described by everyone we know as the most honourable, trustworthy person they know. I would never have believed he would cheat, to actively choose to hurt me on purpose.

Then I found out a few years ago he had never been faithful through our entire relationship!
All with women from work (he worked at many different sites across the region) women in his local team who knew he was married with young kids, but he would take his ring off whenever he went to different sites.

He lived another life when not at home. No one outside of work would have suspected him!

Absolutely certain that he wouldn't or I would not have married him.

I think it's likely that under certain circumstances my DH would cheat.

To be honest I don't think anyone thinks that their partners going to cheat on them

I don't have any doubts that he's faithful and Im not worried he's going to cheat on me but I don't think you can ever say 100%.

He's a good man though, and very kind.

But when they get caught all the married say they just looking and didn't actually meet anyone.... 🧐

I don't think that my DH has ever heard of Fay Weldon's "The Lives and Loves of a She-Devil", but I think he suspects that I'd turn into a she-devil if I find out that he's been cheating...and he's probably right.😈

100% sure - both of us about each other. 30+ years to show for choosing the right person with the same morals as me. He is still a PITA though!

There's a lot of smug married on here.

During difficult times when I was younger, I surprised myself with what I’m capable of in certain situations and so I’m pretty sure my husband could surprise me too.

And I would be surprised, we’ve been together since we were literal children, have been through a lot and we are now almost 40. But I made the decision a long time ago to just relish our relationship and the love we share - that love is the source of all the goodness in my life.

I wouldn’t throw my marriage away over a physical, one night stand type thing. I’d be more devastated by a staying-up-all-night talking about the universe kind of betrayal.

But whatever happens, I am so grateful for his love - whether it’s forever or until tomorrow. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I was 100% sure my partner wouldn't, and so was he, until he did. It was a one off, the perfect storm.

I always thought it would be more likely to be me.

It depends on where your life is now. As @Seeyouat7 says none of us have been through every life scenario so we don't know. So it's not crazy to think someone would never cheat as they and you are now, but I don't think you can be so sure of your own or partners actions 10 years down the line when you may be very different people.

Probably 95%, there has to be an allowance for doubt because sometimes life throws you a completely unexpected turn of events but I think the likelihood is really low.

We've spoken before about our boundaries and any form of cheating is a no go for both of us and would be considered the end of the marriage with little to no chance of recovery.