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Original poster

How sure are you that your partner/husband wouldn’t cheat?

179 replies

Gerithegiraffe · 22/10/2024 20:57

I have cheated in the past (on an abusive ex) but can hand on heart say I couldn’t cheat even if I tried on my husband. I spoke to him about it and basically said it would be so pointless anyway because I get everything I need from him (side note: not that not getting what you ‘need’ is any excuse for cheating, there’s NEVER an excuse for cheating)

i am prepared to be told I’m naive but I genuinely trust him a billion percent, and him me, and honestly feel like cheating is the absolute last thing he’d or I would ever do. I can’t really explain it but it’s a lovely feeling. I feel genuinely really sad on here sometimes when I see the amount of people posting about cheating partners and it just got me thinking how sure would you be that your partner or husband wouldn’t cheat?

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 22/10/2024 21:37

I'd never say 100% but I am pretty sure he wouldn't. If he did it he would either have got unusually intoxicated (he's usually a single glass guy) or something absolutely major would have happened, or i would have become physically incapable of sex. I've made it clear to him that physical fidelity isn't a deal breaker for me so I am hopeful he would tell me.

I, on the other hand, am only a 70% bet. I love him and monogamy is his deal so that's that, but im a lot more shallow than he is.

Kaleidoscope101 · 22/10/2024 21:37

Jessie1259 · 22/10/2024 21:08

I was 100% sure he was faithful for 23 years, trusted him completely. Turned out I was wrong unfortunately.

Same here

Cece92 · 22/10/2024 21:39

I'm 100% confident he wouldn't. His ex wife did and it broke him but he walked instantly from her. So I know he wouldn't do it to me. He has a picture of me as his Lock Screen on his phone, a wee pic of me in his truck and one of us in his house. Plus he's away Monday - Friday as a truck driver and when I say he's always rammed he works 15 hour days and we spend most of the day talking except when he's loading unloading that's usually texts. He's too lazy to cheat 😂😂😂 I'm aware of how he's been treated prior and I know I treat him a million times better so he'd be a mug if he did 😂 xxxx

WhereIsMyLight · 22/10/2024 21:41

Of course he might cheat. I would say if he is going to cheat I’m 99% sure it would be him leaving me for the other woman as opposed to say a drunken one night or a casual fling. Even if I was willing to work through it, he’d have already gone through the motions in his head and would have mentally closed that door.

However, if I was to cheat it’s probably more likely to be a casual fling. If the marriage ended, I don’t think it would automatically result in me looking for a relationship with the affair partner. I’m not planning on cheating but knowing how we both approach things, I think those are the most likely scenarios for both of us.

BigFatLiar · 22/10/2024 21:42

I'm sure he hasn't. We have discussed affairs as we know others that have had them. His view is fairly basic, he has me and why would he want anyone else. I suspect he'd just find it too much bother.

SunsetSkylane · 22/10/2024 21:43

Ask me a couple years ago, absolutely 100%.

Now? I know how much you can shock yourself by becoming someone you didn't know was inside you.

So...I'm pretty open now to whatever life brings.

Daschund · 22/10/2024 21:43

Mickey79 · 22/10/2024 21:12

Everyone is 💯 sure that their spouse/ partner would never cheat on them. Yet infidelity is common. So basically, no one can be sure.

That's simply not true. Happily married for over thirty years. 3 adult DC. I've never had the slightest suspicion DH has cheated and would be extremely shocked if he did. Would I say it could never happen? Absolutely not. I know many women who feel the the same. Trusting they won't is not the same as saying it couldn't happen.

3xchaos · 22/10/2024 21:46

Well I was 1000% sure mine never would and they did 3 times. So you can never be sure and Id always be cautious now

BodyKeepingScore · 22/10/2024 21:46

notatinydancer · 22/10/2024 21:32

You can never be 💯 sure. It's ridiculously naive to say that.

I don't think it's naive. I've been cheated on in the past by other men, I'd never have said I was 💯 sure they wouldn't cheat. With DP (13 years together) I absolutely am 💯 sure he wouldn't. I don't think that makes me naive, I think it means I know him (and myself) in ways that I haven't done in previous relationships. It's absolutely okay for women here to say they aren't 💯 sure, it's not okay for those same women to tell those of us who are 💯 sure that we're either wrong or gullible.

Motherofdragons20 · 22/10/2024 21:47

Interestingly my DH and I have spoke about this recently. We both agree that anyone is capable of cheating even if you think you wouldn’t, most cheaters aren’t actually bad people and most of the time it creeps up on you. You sit next to someone at lunch and have a chat, quite enjoy the chat so sit together again tomorrow, goes on a while then you start moaning about your spouse and so do they, next it’s a quick drink after work still very innocent, then you can’t wait to see them again, friendly banter texts and the feelings grow and grow before you’ve even realised you’ve crossed a line. Both DH and I agree this can absolutely happen and actually being aware of that and stopping it in its tracks and not putting yourself in that position is key.

I trust my husband 100% but yes he could cheat as could I but I believe we both have our eyes wide opened to the possibility and know that it isn’t what either of us want so we won’t put ourselves in that position.

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGGG · 22/10/2024 21:48

No one can be 100% sure and if you are, you’re an idiot. You never know what will happen in future

ohreallythatisveryinteresting · 22/10/2024 21:49

I think he is very unlikely to cheat, given his personality. And he’s quite lazy.

I keep an eye on him and there is no drunken evenings with female friends and like. I know his phone password and we have each other locations on.

I make sure he is happy so doesn’t need to cheat. We have a lot of sex.

so I doubt he would but I make an effort to ensure that on top. And he would entirely say the same, except that I am a cheater by nature so he keeps closer tabs on me.

Sharontheodopolodous · 22/10/2024 21:49

I'm 99% sure he never would,but there is always that 1% of me that thinks 'maybe'

I trust him 100%,don't get me wrong,but I've seen it happen too many times

I also thought my ex would never cheat

He ran off with my best mate-theyd been at it like rabbits while I was pregnant (very hard pregnancy,which we both could have died) with our child and ran off together when he was 5 months old

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 22/10/2024 21:50

Agree you can’t be sure.

I’m pretty sure my DP wouldn’t go looking for someone else. But I wouldn’t bet my house on him never falling for someone else, or having a weak moment with a female friend or colleague if we were having a bad patch. He’s only human, we’re all flawed, I need my house!

I was cheated on in a previous long-term relationship, and made a very conscious decision that I wouldn’t let that make me jealous or suspicious in future relationships. I wouldn’t tolerate it, but it would be miserable to always be wondering.

GreenGrass28 · 22/10/2024 21:52

I don't think I can trust 100% and say my dh would never cheat. I think it's unlikely and he's never given me reason to worry, so it doesn't occupy my thoughts and is not a source of insecurity for me. But I'm not naive to the possibility.

Acornsoup · 22/10/2024 21:53

I think the majority of men would cheat if they could guarantee getting away with it.

spongelover · 22/10/2024 21:55

I'm in the 💯 he wouldn't. I know it's hard for some people to believe, but that says more about them than anything.
If you can say that you know that you wouldn't, which a lot of women would say and KNOW they would never, then why is it naive to believe that someone else would...

livelovelough24 · 22/10/2024 21:55

Every person I know, who were cheated on were certain that their partners were faithful. There i said it.

spongelover · 22/10/2024 21:56

spongelover · 22/10/2024 21:55

I'm in the 💯 he wouldn't. I know it's hard for some people to believe, but that says more about them than anything.
If you can say that you know that you wouldn't, which a lot of women would say and KNOW they would never, then why is it naive to believe that someone else would...

Sorry, naive to believe that someone else wouldn't * nor would

HowFarToBanburyCross · 22/10/2024 21:56

Motherofdragons20 · 22/10/2024 21:47

Interestingly my DH and I have spoke about this recently. We both agree that anyone is capable of cheating even if you think you wouldn’t, most cheaters aren’t actually bad people and most of the time it creeps up on you. You sit next to someone at lunch and have a chat, quite enjoy the chat so sit together again tomorrow, goes on a while then you start moaning about your spouse and so do they, next it’s a quick drink after work still very innocent, then you can’t wait to see them again, friendly banter texts and the feelings grow and grow before you’ve even realised you’ve crossed a line. Both DH and I agree this can absolutely happen and actually being aware of that and stopping it in its tracks and not putting yourself in that position is key.

I trust my husband 100% but yes he could cheat as could I but I believe we both have our eyes wide opened to the possibility and know that it isn’t what either of us want so we won’t put ourselves in that position.

This is very astute. It reminds me of a meme I saw online years ago that said something like "Cheating doesn't start with having sex. If you find yourself deleting texts you're already halfway down that road."
To answer the OP, I honestly don't know if DH would (or has) cheated. I trust that he wouldn't, and hasn't. But if ever I discovered that he had, it wouldn't totally blindside me because we've had a difficult marriage and he's definitely had the opportunity.

Lampzade · 22/10/2024 21:58

All the posters who say their husband wouldn’t cheat may be in for a rude awakening.
I have been on MN for many years and have read posts where women have been convinced that their partner would never cheat only to discover that they had been cheating for years.
My dh is a very good man. He is a fantastic husband and father but I can’t say in all honesty that he wouldn’t cheat
I would not vouch for any man.

BirthdayRainbow · 22/10/2024 21:59

I was 100% sure my h would not cheat.

He did.

Lampzade · 22/10/2024 21:59

Acornsoup · 22/10/2024 21:53

I think the majority of men would cheat if they could guarantee getting away with it.

I agree

Breadbasket5 · 22/10/2024 22:02

As sure as I realistically can be, while recognising some people just don’t turn out to be who you think they are. So 99%

JovLane · 22/10/2024 22:03

I was 100% sure he wouldn't, as was he…until he did!