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Original poster

Sex after a long dry spell, with someone much older!

180 replies

LaBrasseria2024 · 22/10/2024 13:23

Hi everyone,

32 years old. Currently OLD. I had a very long period (a good chunk of my 20's) not dating/no relationship/no sex, due to chronic UTI 🥹☹️

The Last person I had sex with was the same age as me (24), I know, crazy it's been that long!

I am back dating, dating someone who is 49, and I do feel very nervous about the prospect of sex. He is very, very physically fit, great body, but I just wonder what sex with someone who is almost 50 is like?

Is it too big of an age gap? Do they need a longer recovery or is it much the same? Do all men that age suffer from ED? I have read in some reports it starts mid 40's.

Will they see me as awfully inexperienced / will that be off putting?

Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
CaptainRedbeardandbigbadbarry · 11/11/2024 00:17

ItsNeverAMannequin · 22/10/2024 15:41

This thread makes some pretty gross reading tbh.

OP - when you are 49 I REALLY hope you look back on the fact you wrote this thread as if the guy is a hundred years old. You aren't some child bride to him FFS (despite what some posters seem to think).

He may need more recovery time. He will like be as competent in bed as a 35 year old is likely to be - some great, some shit.

Whatever happens, be comfortable with what you are happy/not happy doing. You sound quite naive for 34 (given the way you view someone a mere 15 years older lol) so don't build it up or catsastrophise.

Tend to agree with this to be fair.

IAm16StoneHalloween2024 · 11/11/2024 00:17

11 dates and no sex? Are you sure either of you even want to progress? What has he said? Have you asked him? Personally, we would have had the sex talk way before that. At 11 dates my personal feeling would be to knock it on the head and get chatting to other men.

Have a think about whether you want sex, are you asexual, is he, do you want a male friendship only etc. Nothing wrong with any of those options but it’s good to have a think about what you really want and if you are looking for it with the right person.

Just thinking ‘he’s fit, I really like his body’ is useless.

Original poster
LaBrasseria2024 · 11/11/2024 00:46

@IAm16StoneHalloween2024 - he has made it clear he is interested in that side of things etc, lots of comments about my body , I just told him I wouldn't be up for sex very early on/wanted to get to know him soon, and he has respected that.

But yes, I feel like I would like to soon. I'm just extremely nervous. I feel like it's so unusual at my age to have had basically an almost decade break from sex due to a health condition! Makes me feel weird.

OP posts:
dontcryformeargentina · 11/11/2024 00:52

It will be vanilla sex , nothing super exciting. Don't worry about it

Delphiniumandlupins · 11/11/2024 01:32

I think whoever you were dating just now you would be questioning why they were dating you, what they hoped to get out of it and what they expected in bed. I think your long hiatus has, naturally, made you nervous but you need to stop over analysing. Whether you decide to have sex with this guy or not just relax and enjoy yourself a bit. Sex at any age can be great or awful

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