Sex after a long dry spell, with someone much older!

[LaBrasseria2024]

Hi everyone,

32 years old. Currently OLD. I had a very long period (a good chunk of my 20's) not dating/no relationship/no sex, due to chronic UTI 🥹☹️

The Last person I had sex with was the same age as me (24), I know, crazy it's been that long!

I am back dating, dating someone who is 49, and I do feel very nervous about the prospect of sex. He is very, very physically fit, great body, but I just wonder what sex with someone who is almost 50 is like?

Is it too big of an age gap? Do they need a longer recovery or is it much the same? Do all men that age suffer from ED? I have read in some reports it starts mid 40's.

Will they see me as awfully inexperienced / will that be off putting?

Any advice appreciated.

He's 49, not 109.

He must get be great, he might be crap. Same could be said for a 30 year old.

Stop over thinking it.

Why would he only be interested in my as a piece of skirt to show of and have sex with ?

Sorry OP but either you’re extremely naive or you’re on a wind up.

@Jaehee - no its not a wind up thanks. I have come here for advice, just like anyone else.

I have been out of the dating game for the best part of a decade, due to very extenuating circumstances. Now I am back and it's almost unrecognisable.

What's wrong with asking for advice?

And what I mean is, why would he be just looking for a bit of skirt anymore than any other guy my own age?

@Paintersradio - it's difficult with guys my age. Some only want to date younger. Also, a lot want kids. I don't think that is going to be on the cards for me due to health issues.

OP I’m closer to this man’s age than yours and so far my experience of OLD is that very very few older men are looking for anything more than casual sex.

Id say if you want a fling to get back in the saddle then go for it but don’t pin your hopes on it being anything more than a short term thing.

What's wrong with asking for advice?

Nothing. But you don’t seem to be taking on board the advice given to you, from either standpoint.

And what I mean is, why would he be just looking for a bit of skirt anymore than any other guy my own age?

Men who persistently date much younger women in many cases do so not so much for the ‘skirt’, but because they like being in control. Typically the woman is vulnerable/naive/inexperienced.

@TwistedWonder - he does say in his profile that he is looking for a LTR, I guess I have taken that at face value.

They all say that and then comes the ‘well I’m not really ready right now…..’

I'd give him a miss, sounds like you'd just be his bit of arm candy for now, until someone else comes along. I'd go with ages 42 as a max at your age no higher.

@Jaehee - well it's not that I am not taking it on board. Lots of people have said go for it, enjoy, the gap isn't a big deal etc.

Only a few have said it's creepy.

@Paintersradio - yea the problem with that is their kids are younger. I dated someone with younger kids earlier this year and it was just a nightmare. Constantly cancelled plans as they have 50% custody. Also, i have zero interest in being someone's stepmother.

@Paintersradio - yea the advantage with this guy is he has a grown up child, with her own life/she doesn't live with him etc.

🤣🤣- oh please don't say dangly balls. Like surely they cannot be that dangly at that age. 😑😑

@LaBrasseria2024 Doesn't sound like you can get past the age gap. It's been a few dates, just move on.

If you had plenty in common and enjoyed spending time together the age difference wouldn't matter.

He may say he's looking for a LTR, plenty of people are. Doesn't mean every person they date will be a LTR.

@ImNoSuperman - I like the guy, we get along very well together.

I have just been apprehensive about sex with someone a lot older than me.

Although maybe I just feel like that in general as it's been a long time since I have had sex!

Sex is sex. It's different with everyone. But in the end, there's only one way to find out. It can be more different between two men the same age than men of different ages; basically, age is not a big factor.

🤣🤣- oh please don't say dangly balls. Like surely they cannot be that dangly at that age. 😑😑

@LaBrasseria2024 I don't think his balls will be any more dangly than they were when he was 30. They may be dangly or they may not, but it won't be because he's 49!

He's really not that much older than you. He seems nice. His comments on age were during a conversation about age (am I am also a bit about people saying it's a red flag that he thinks 32 is hot but fine to say he's too old to be hot).

See where it goes. You could have a fun fling, or be together forever. There's no way to tell unless you take the plunge.

If he's in good physical shape he will be fine! Probably a better experience than most younger men if I'm honest! Go for it x

It’s your happiness that matters

if you like/ fancy/lust him, then go for it and enjoy

when your 60ish you could either look like your daughter or your mother

who cares what other people think, it’s what you enjoy and feel happy with

Some women only want that too though - admittedly not me, I am done with anything 😂 prior to getting to this point I didn’t feel it was likely I was likely I would ever meet anyone I wanted a relationship with. Lots of people feel the same tbh.

@SnugCoralFinch - where did you meet the 55 year old that had good in bed going for him? OLD?

Not sure why the stigma to OLD. An old man is an old man wherever you meet him.

@Camelphat -,I don't think there is a stigma with OLD. That's what I use to meet guys

Don't be daft he's in his 40's not his 90's

@Autumnblackberries

He's 49 - so will be 50s in a matter of months. OP isn't long out of her 20s. It's a huge gap, they are from different generations.

OP, I'm in my 30s but older than you. Don't waste your youth on this old guy, you'll regret it.