Sex after a long dry spell, with someone much older!

[LaBrasseria2024]

Hi everyone,

32 years old. Currently OLD. I had a very long period (a good chunk of my 20's) not dating/no relationship/no sex, due to chronic UTI 🥹☹️

The Last person I had sex with was the same age as me (24), I know, crazy it's been that long!

I am back dating, dating someone who is 49, and I do feel very nervous about the prospect of sex. He is very, very physically fit, great body, but I just wonder what sex with someone who is almost 50 is like?

Is it too big of an age gap? Do they need a longer recovery or is it much the same? Do all men that age suffer from ED? I have read in some reports it starts mid 40's.

Will they see me as awfully inexperienced / will that be off putting?

Any advice appreciated.

When you're older you generally have an older partner? Yes similar age, not with a huge age gap.

God what is wrong with the posts on here, if he's been with plenty younger women he's a sleaze. OP why are you even entertaining it.

I'm 43 post divorce and have 3 current FWBS all ages between 50 and 60.

I've never been more sexually satisfied in my entire life.

Oh weird Im always seeing posts on here that having kids makes couples too knackered for sex

My husband is 51, fit and looks after himself. I can safely say he most definitely doesn't have erection or performance issues!! His sex drive is normal too. Don't worry, this new man will be happy to have found a younger woman, who fancies him!! Enjoy!!!

Men in their 40s and 50s are not old in the way they were 40 years old. My DH is in his 50s and is as fit and in shape as many 20 somethings. I think you need to get past the notion that anyone past 40 is geriatric!

@Disturbia81 - he hasn't given any indication he is a creep thankfully!

Oh have so much fun! You fancy him and that's all that matters! Stop thinking about long term prospects, it's just dating. If you fall in love, well love is love! But you might not, it might just be fun!

I'm not surprised if you've got three of them on the go 😂

It’s one thing to meet a much older man out in the wild and fall in love, but it’s another to meet one on OLD. I personally wouldn’t want to date a man who was deliberately seeking out much younger women. I’ve known a number of men who do this and they were invariably twats. It makes me cringe.

Totally agree with this. If you meet someone naturally and there’s a spark then great but definitely there’s a lot of men in OLD actively chasing women 10/20 years their junior and I find that a bit sleazy

Well that’s clearly the case for some couples but certainly not all! Having children can be bring couples much closer, it is very bonding.

😂

He's 49 wanting to be with a 32 year old = creep.

@Disturbia81 - it does appear that basically all the men on OLD are looking for younger. Doesn't seem to be any getting any from it.

Update on this,

Still haven't done the deed with this guy. I wanted another date or two first!

He has however said to me over text last night

'32 is young, it's hot though'

Before I dtd is this a red flag?! Is it a tad creepy?

I asked him what he meant but no response lol

Honestly if you have to parse and analyse it this much, maybe break it off.

People in their 40s are not another species ffs. Either you feel attracted to him or you don't. All the dithering sounds so immature.

@BettyBardMacDonald - I am trying not to analyse too much. I have just been out of the dating game a long time. I am attracted to him yes, but I just thought it was a bit 'yuck' that he made that comment about my age.

It's more likely than in his 30s, but if he's generally fit, it's not that likely. Plenty of men in their 50s have no problems. And there's always Viagra.

Plus men in their 50s can be well experienced and know just eat they're doing.

Just go for it. If it turns out to be a poor experience, there's no point wasting more time on it, and if it's great, then you can get on with repeating it.

He probably means he finds it hot that you are so much younger and that's part of the appeal. He might not say it about someone the same age as bad as ot sounds, you're just a bragging right, that's what men are like.
As an anecdote my H is 50 I am 33, he has had ED for a few years and it's getting worse. We do have 3 young kids under 6 so it might be tiredness, but iv only been with one before him who was my age and the difference is quite obvious. I love him though so I look past it, bit age isn't just a number as many posters here will tell you.

@EBearhug - yes I realised after getting opinions on here the last time I posted, he could be more experienced, not necessarily have issues etc.

However it was just the comment he made about my age, I thought it was maybe a big bleugh. Perhaps he is only interested in me for my age etc

@creamandcookies2 - thanks for your reply.

Yes when I said to him 'how is an age hot' , as in, how/why is a specific number 'hot' . He didn't reply haha. I sort of wanted him to admit he is being a bit shallow 🤣.

I should probably take on board what you are saying though. This guy is a gym freak etc. I'm not sure if that makes a difference in terms of E.D.

Perhaps he is only interested in me for my age etc

It's likely as he doesn't know you. What's his dating history? 17 years is significant, too big an age gap for many people because the differences will be apparent later.

@Livinghappy - he has an 18 year old daughter. Lived with the mother but wasn't married to her, although he split up with her 15 years ago.

He told me he usually dates mid-late 30's. And then said '32 is young, it's hot though'

😑