Sex after a long dry spell, with someone much older!

[LaBrasseria2024]

Hi everyone,

32 years old. Currently OLD. I had a very long period (a good chunk of my 20's) not dating/no relationship/no sex, due to chronic UTI 🥹☹️

The Last person I had sex with was the same age as me (24), I know, crazy it's been that long!

I am back dating, dating someone who is 49, and I do feel very nervous about the prospect of sex. He is very, very physically fit, great body, but I just wonder what sex with someone who is almost 50 is like?

Is it too big of an age gap? Do they need a longer recovery or is it much the same? Do all men that age suffer from ED? I have read in some reports it starts mid 40's.

Will they see me as awfully inexperienced / will that be off putting?

Any advice appreciated.

Bear in mind that’s only a 3 year age gap, OP and this man she likes have a much larger one. Seventeen years!

@Chickennuggetjules - I would like something longer term. He also said on his profile etc he wants something long term.

He has been very complimentary about my looks and my body. Mentioned my bum etc on multiple occasions. Obviously it's nice to hear compliments.

I would sincerely hope he didn't have his age range turned down the whole way to 18, given his daughter is that age,

I met him on hinge, which does seem to be more for LTR.

His daughter has her own life, doesn't live with him etc so that doesn't put me off him.

No help re the sex, I’m afraid, but you may find UTI info here https://www.fedup.com.au/factsheets/factsheets-by-symptom/bladder-problems-in-adults and here https://angelakilmartin.com/.

Yeah, I bet he has been complimentary about your looks, I’m not denying that. Does he ever compliment or discuss anything deeper about you? Your intelligence or appreciation for any of your interests? Your plans for the future? Your children (if you have any)?

please just be v careful and keep your expectations realistic, there is a massive power imbalance between someone your age and someone seventeen years your senior despite you being obvs past the age of consent.

yes, hinge can be geared towards those who want LTR’s but you do still get creeps and weirdos on there, as well as people who just want casual sex but who aren’t upfront about it.

You say you want something long term- can you really imagine yourself at 40 dating a 67 year old man? He has a grown up daughter and likely will not want any more children at his age.

why is he single at that age? Why did he split from his child’s mum? If he is recently divorced he may just be floating around on the dating apps wanting fun and telling women what they want to hear.

definitely ask what his age range on hinge was, I can’t believe the topic hasn’t come up before now. Are you and him exclusively dating, or is he still on the app possibly talking to other women? I hate to say it but if his profile is still on it it’s likely he is on there messaging others still.

have fun by all means but definitely be cautious. You do sound quite innocent/naive based on what you’ve been asking about sex together. Not in a bad way it’s just something I’ve picked up on based on your writing.

im not meaning to piss on your cornflakes, just at a similar age to you and have spoke to older guys of a similar age on online dating apps before.

Also how long have you known him?

In all honesty, be with someone you like and connect with, if he's older so what! Enjoy!

57*

I think if you fancy him just enjoy!
So what if he's older. He takes care of himself and has a great body - there are probably plenty of men out there that don't! He will probably continue to take care of his body!
Please don't be hung up on the age difference- I am in an incredibly loving age gap relationship and have been for 18 years. I am older. Back at the start my "friend" said it gave her the ick to think of me with a younger man. She is no longer my friend but my man is still my dh and tells me regularly I was the best decision he ever made.
Yes he said you are 32 and that is hot - so what? Are you worried that in ten years he will still be after hot 32 year olds? You may well have moved on by then 😂 OR you may be together - you by then peri menopause and him still going to the gym and having a great body!
Just enjoy the moment- don't overthink it.

What were all the women in America doing ? Why didn’t they vote ?

I always go for much older men! They tend to appreciate you more! 😀

My exH is 57 and my two current FWBs are 55 and 57. All fantastic fucks.

I'm 44.

I've just gone back through your posts to jog my memory. You keep saying 'he's hot', 'great body' and 'he's physically attractive', but nothing about his actions or his personality. Has he got anything else going for him?

He told me he usually dates mid-late 30's.

What I find funny about these age gap threads is that there's always people who say age is just a number, so what if he's older, don't overthink it, don't get hung up on age difference, he's 50 not 90 etc and they accuse anyone who says otherwise of being ageist. Yet men who persistently go after women 10-20 years their junior and rule out women their own age are apparently fine and not creeps at all.

I'd be more put off by a man who keeps mentioning my bum tbh - now that, I find is letchy and creepy.

I agree. Men who focus on making comments about a woman’s body straight away creep me out. Along with the age being hot comment I’d see this one as looking for sex with a younger woman rather than a long term prospect

Enjoy it for now but THINK.
This is not a good bet for you in the long term.
He is too old.
Visualise how this will go for you in your late 40s.

Stop overthinking, OP! Sleep with him if you want to, don’t if you don’t. One silly remark wouldn’t put me off. Nor would the age gap, necessarily. If you like him, why not sleep with him and see where it goes from there?

In my experience the men in their late 40s and 50s who like dating younger women do so because women of their own age don’t put up with, or can see through their bullshit.

@Chickennuggetjules

'someone THAT old'

did you get confused? He's 49, not 99.

how old are you??

I would have thought the age gap in the future is less of an issue. The maturity gap is arguably less between a 40 and 60 year old than between a 20 and 40 year old for example. In general it is up to the pair concerned and for them to decide if and when the age gap becomes a problem.

As a 46 year old male I do have a bias towards older women and tend to instinctively feel affection towards women in their 50's upward. Older women respond in a pleasant manner when I tell them they look great or when I buy a gift as a way of showing them I value their friendship.

I’m 34. Single years but I had a year long on and off thing with someone who was 55.

The sex side was his only selling point tbh 😆🍆

@SnugCoralFinch - 🤣🤣🤣.

I think I have managed to offend the guy now tbh.

He said he dates mid-late 30's so I said ' so you avoid women from the 40's age group then.' 😉🤣

And also said 'why is an age hot' when he said 32 was hot.

That was like 2 days ago and no response

Guy, Just turned 60 here. Many of us still really enjoy sex and spend time in the gym, eating right (well, most of the time) and looking after ourselves and it pays off in terms of sex and performance. It's really not all about ageing and ED.
If you get the opportunity, just go with it and enjoy it. I'd hope he would too.

She will be 50 when hes 67 not 40 I cant help noticing that people who reply to these threads do tend to add on a decade that isnt there I wonder why

You fancy each other and it's been ages since you last had sex and that was with a 20 something whereas presumably he is more experienced. I'm struggling to see the problem? Enjoy some top-notch sex and see where it goes from there

@Chickennuggetjules - thanks for all of your replies. Why would he only be interested in my as a piece of skirt to show of and have sex with ?

Surely plenty his age want both a relationship and sex.

In terms of me seeming naive/inexperienced regarding sex, I have taken a long break from sex due to health issues. Last person I had sex with was the same age as me, and he is obviously a different generation. And no, I haven't ever had sex with someone significantly older before.

And yea, we are both still on the dating app. We have both been talking to others still, well I have anyways lol.

He split with the child's mother 15 years ago, they were never married

I have known him for a few months.