Sex after a long dry spell, with someone much older!

[LaBrasseria2024]

Hi everyone,

32 years old. Currently OLD. I had a very long period (a good chunk of my 20's) not dating/no relationship/no sex, due to chronic UTI 🥹☹️

The Last person I had sex with was the same age as me (24), I know, crazy it's been that long!

I am back dating, dating someone who is 49, and I do feel very nervous about the prospect of sex. He is very, very physically fit, great body, but I just wonder what sex with someone who is almost 50 is like?

Is it too big of an age gap? Do they need a longer recovery or is it much the same? Do all men that age suffer from ED? I have read in some reports it starts mid 40's.

Will they see me as awfully inexperienced / will that be off putting?

Any advice appreciated.

@Notenoughcoffe - does the green face mean envy or vomit!! 🤣. I'm assuming vomit given the context haha

Im sorry but that is a huuuge age gap. Why of why do you want this? Think 20 years Ahead?

ED can be caused by a variety of things, including medication, physical issues and psychological issues. If he's a gym bunny, he's probably not going to have problems physically - it's the ones with circulation issues because of smoking or diabetes or cardiac issues who are most likely there. Medication could be an issue - one guy I was with struggled because it was a side effect of antidepressants he was on. If it's in his mind, he might get over that over time. But the chances are that he's fine, especially if he's fit. Many men in their 50s are (I've done a fair bit of OLD in the last few years.)

@Notenoughcoffe - I know it seems quite a big gap but I do find him very attractive. Although the comment about my age has made me think a bit

@EBearhug - yes very physically fit etc, no health issues that I am aware of. So hopefully wouldn't be any issues in that dept. But starting to wonder now like I said if my age is his main interest lol

I am 53. 53+ 17= 70. My mom is 75.
He May be sort of exciting now, but your future Will be so different with a man so Much older.

@Notenoughcoffe - yea I know 🥴🥴. I would like to find a long term partner. so yes issues could arise with someone a lot older as eventually you become their carer.

However, guys my age seem to only want to date women in their 20's. (Mostly anyways) . The men asking me out are at least a decade older. Apart from a few I have been out with still in their 30's

Don't be daft he's in his 40's not his 90's

@AutumnLeaves24 - you don't think the comment he made about my age being hot was a bit 'yuck'?

There must be a middle Way.. early forties ?
You are so Young and have your whole life in front of you. He might be hot now - but be smart. When you are 60 he is close to 80.

I'm
55 my husband is 67 - I still fancy the pants off him. He's done an Ironman. Washboard stomach and bangs me
Like a drum - regularly.

Age is what they make of it. My sister husband is late 30's overweight, smoker & as sexy as a doorknob. (Her words)

And yes totally yuk!

@beachcitygirl - he would be 73 when I am 55 though. Glad to hear he still bangs you like a drum though 😉😉

I do fancy this guy though. His body is great 😌

The poster you quoted turns up on all age-gap threads to tell us all how horrifically revolting it is to date anyone more than 5 years older 😆

I hadn't actually read that when I posted. But no, I don't. I think when you're getting to know someone it's not 'yuck' to find some superficial things a turn on.

Ahhh 😂😂😂

hadn't clocked that!!

I won't tell her how old the bloke I'm shagging is then!! Or the younger one😂😂😂

@AutumnLeaves24 - I know it's natural for both sexes etc to find certain superficial things such as physical attributes a turn on.

But I just thought that finding someone's age a turn on is a bit yuck!

@AutumnLeaves24 - well I don't mind if you mention their age 🤣

Yes, I would find that comment yuck and a turn off.

Since my marriage ended last year, I’ve dated/slept with 2 men, 61 and 53. I’m 56. They both only date women in their own age range. Both have said something along the lines of ‘youth or relative youth isn’t hot or sexy for its own sake, a woman in her 50s is just as hot as a woman any other age’.

Anyway, men are physically all individual no matter their age, in terms of their physical ability. The only thing I’ve noticed is that both of my recent partners have had moments when it’s just not happening, no matter what the enticement. I don’t recall that ever being an issue with men when I was last single, in my 20’s and early 30’s.

I will say I find it a bit strange too- the age gap I mean. Is there no way of getting on tinder/pof and finding someone your own age? You sound like you haven’t got much experience sexually (sorry if I’m wrong) and there is a bit of a power imbalance going with someone that age. I can see why he wants it but definitely don’t get tied down with someone that much older than you.

If it’s just casual you’re wanting, you will be inundated with offers on apps etc from guys your own age. I’m in a relationship now, but I’m 30 and when I was single it was easy to be choosy on apps when I just wanted a casual thing. If you do want a proper relationship you will also likely get tons of offers on dating apps. Sifting through the shite ones can be annoying but you don’t need to resort to someone that old.

Just read that he has a daughter similar in age to you. Yeah, that gives me the ick. Btw if you’ve only seen pics online of him, ask for a FaceTime call or something, I had guys that age hitting on me online sometimes (I did not reply) and the photos were so obviously old ones from years ago.

@Chickennuggetjules - I have been out with guys in my age group who were just looking for casual.

I have also been out with guys my age who wanted a relationship/were keen etc, but I just didn't feel a spark/fancy them. So had to let them down gently.

No his daughter isn't a similar age. I am 32, she is 18.

I do find him physically attractive, I have been on dates etc with him! He does look like his photos. Looks so good for his age

I think it's only natural for all of us to be a bit shallow. But you would definitely be like a trophy! Thats not always a bad thing as long as thats not all he sees you as. It also depends what you want out of this- if it's just a quick fling then maybe go for it! If you think it could be long term just have a serious think about it. It doesn't mean he will have ED! Like is said my H has 3 young children, not many 50 year old do! He also works in a stressful job, this may be affecting it. He does have low testosterone though, but that's age I guess.

Ah right no idea where I read about the daughter age thing.

what are your intentions with this guy (stupid way of saying it I know)

if it’s just for casual and a bit of fun, fair enough, though you can probably do better. If you’re looking for something long term; it probably won’t work. At his age there is no way he will be interested in someone your age for anything other than a younger piece of skirt to show off about and to have sex with. No matter ghow charming he is over the dinner table.

Plus do you really want to tie yourself down to someone with adult children?

also if you met him on a dating app, he likely had his age range turned down all the way to 18.

I'm 37 man is 4o nearly 41 he is the most amazing sexual partner ever he is also loving in every way makes me feel perfect it's not about ages this man is phenomenal he's my world 7 and a half years together