Told i don't have the body type

[Tomanyflaws]

Is it ever ok for a man in a relationship to comment on his female partners type of outfits by telling her to wear something that flatters because it's embrassing when everything's hanging i am a plus size ze lady size 16_18 5ft 7 33 he says i dress like im a size 8 something that i definitely am fully aware i ain't is it ok for him to say your fat rolls are hanging out and iv got a pouch so I need to cover up i said i don't want to wear big frumpy baggy clothes like old style granny prints this was in summer when i had denim shorts and a crop top on he's always said he doesn't mind my size but wants me to cover up if he's much in love with me why would he be embarrassed about my body that he wants to hide it under frumpy layers he is now an ex hes wev had long issues he told me it's over thank god but his he unreasonable or is it me??

I'd bet my house that most women have asked their DH, partner or BF not to wear a particular outfit or type of clothing because its not suitable/appropriate.

My DH has recently developed a very big beer belly. I've asked him not to wear his old t shirts because they no longer fit and his belly is uncovered and AWFUL looking.

I'm overweight myself (by several stone) and won't wear anything that exposes the flab and rolls. It needn't be really baggy - just the appropriate size.

Look at Dawn French - very obese but always dressed beautifully and looked lovely.

There's a middle ground between 'crop top and shorts' and 'frumpy granny'!

Surely you want to look nice OP? Fat rolls on display aren't great to be fair...and as a size 18 woman with several 'fat rolls' I'm more than happy to say I dress well, cover my rolls and absolutely do NOT look frumpy!

If ever I make a huge error of judgement in this regard (I won't!!) and wear something that exaggerated my 'rolls and pouch', I would hope that someone was confident enough to let me know!

i said i don't want to wear big frumpy baggy clothes like old style granny prints this was in summer when i had denim shorts and a crop top on

Those aren’t the only two clothing choices! I would definitely not wear a crop top at my size as my rolls of fat would not look good, but I don’t wear ‘frumpy baggy old style granny prints either’. I would appreciate my DH telling me the clothes I was wearing weren’t flattering as long as he wasn’t unkind about it

Totally agree.

Well, I know we’re all entitled to dress how we like, but I wouldn’t want to be with a man who had no idea how to dress well for his age/size. 🤷‍♀️

I doubt many of us would but men aren’t supposed to notice or care what we look like.

You look amazing I hate how plus size women are expected to hide everything it's unfair slim people have no restrictions

I think there's a place between not noticing or caring what we look like and saying 'cover up your fat rolls are hanging out' don't you? And in that place you'll find decent men with more than a single brain cell and a modicum of tact and courtesy.

Agreed.

I've read so many threads on here where women were a size 8-10 their partners still cal them fat, ugly, old.

Lose the weight for yourself, no-one else.

I think there's a place between not noticing or caring what we look like and saying 'cover up your fat rolls are hanging out' don't you?

I would definitely tell my partner if their fat rolls were hanging out and suggest a more flattering outfit! I'd want them to tell me too if mine did!!

I suspect that your self-esteem and confidence would have been higher if you hadn't had a BF who negged you about your choice of clothing.

If he's right (and you seem to agree). You sound quite controlling of him. You are blaming him and the rest of the world for your problems. It's nobody else's fault that you are too large to wear what slim, young people do. Only you can sort it out for yourself. Easier to blame something else though. Hopefully counselling will help you see things clearer in time.

That's harsh. She has already lost over a stone. Two stone to go. He should be encouraging her on. Not knocking her back.

If your partner can’t tell you then who can? People are way too sensitive these days.

Of course she isn't controlling of him. It's pretty obvious who the balance of power lay with in that relationship. He ogles women in the street in front of her. He insults her appearance using crude and offensive language. He uses the end of the relationship and finding an even bigger woman as a means of punishment. He gaslight her into thinking the failure of the relationship is due to the insecurity he deliberately encourages...its incredibly naive to take his parting shot as the truth of this situation without looking a little deeper at what's really gone on here.

he has no right to say he loves a big girl but then put me down and tell me to cover up in frumpy layers..

Your a very nasty person and pretending to wish me well bugger of..

"He says he doesn't want me to get laughed at or show him up but iv always take it has he doesn't want me to wear anything unless it's baggy and frumpy he says he loves chubby girls bit iv seen him look at the slim hot looking women in the street the ones that look the exact opposite to me in looks and body now he said I'm going regret it he will get a big partner to prove his point he adamant he's never taking me back I'm paying privately for theraphy as well it's a lot of money but I want to get the proper help that I need iv been a bitch over the years accusing him of cheating looking at other women he can't watch TV incase a pretty woman comes on because I feel jelaous he wishes I had her face and body typebhe says otherwise but I don't believe him im be jelaous one day when he's with someone it might be a wake up call he says I've sucked the life out of him and I'm blood suckling leach I'm a horrible insecure jelaous bitter person"

That doesn't sound like a vicious control freak to me to be honest. It sounds like a frustrated man who has been dealing with a jealous partner for a really long time. OP admits she's been "a bitch" to him and banned him from watching TV which is very controlling and she accuses him of "looking" at other women.

OP, I think the therapy is probably a good idea, because in brutal honesty, it sounds like you are hard work as a partner. It also might be an idea to get a personal shopper to help you work out a new look.

No-one else can tell you what to wear but the outfits you describe, skinny jeans and crop tops etc., are not flattering on bigger bodies. You say you don't feel good in them and anyone who is honest with you, partners and close friends, might well suggest that you wear something that suits you better.

I haven't banned him from watching TV I said I don't like him it watching.

Sorry I was typing to fast I said I haven't been banned him from watching TV I said I didn't like him watching TV when women are on.

What does he get to watch then? Men’s sport and nature documentaries?

After all the dripfed info, I still think your relationship should end. It's no fun for either of you when you are this jealous of him watching TV with women in it.

I didn't say he can't watch TV ffs

And he doesn't like you looking ridiculous in public.

You both have opinions