WWYD? BF moving didn’t tell me

[ShockedAF]

Been with bf 3y.
We live next door. We see each other most days and have done for the last 2y.

Recently he’s been on tidy spree, saying he wants to declutter his life. I was over there last night seemed normal.

Today a For Sale sign has gone up. He’s at work. Photographs already online at the Estate Agent.

He’s texting as normal. I feel sick and shaky. I’ve gone ice cold.

He’s decluttering me out of his life isn’t he?

My plan is to just block him and never speak to him again. WWYD?

Is it actually his house or could he be renting, ie. Someone else selling the house from under him? Is he hoping to move in with you instead? Seems a bit odd either way that he wouldn't mention it. Is he likely to be changing jobs as well/ emigrating? Probably best just to ask, it's likely over for you both but at least you'll know for sure.

I would ask. I mightnt get an answer I like, but I'd get closure.

Why are you moving? Why didn't you tell me? What are you playing at?

Can't really gaslight in spitting distance of the sign

You sound like a truly decent person. He sounds like a psychopath. No empathy, no conscience, no guilt, and he has exploited and used you with this de-cluttering business.
well done for kicking him into touch.
I think I’d have some fun with his estate agent. Get someone to make appointments to view the house, and when the real potential buyers go to view make sure there are plenty of strong smells, loud noises etc. when the viewing are taking place 😉

Perhaps he’s in a financial crisis and HAS to sell.

HNRTT but if you seek mischief once he's said his piece, I'd ask if he is going to declare the neighbour dispute to the new buyers?

Speak to him, only you know your boyfriend.

Although I love the idea of lots of us arranging viewings and not turning up, my plan would involve a lovely male member volunteer that will come round your house a LOT until he sells, nothing going on of course but Sneaky Turd wouldn't know that 😉

Are you sure he’s your bf? Maybe to him you’re friends with benefits.

Exactly, we don’t know the nature of the relationship nor how committed he was to it, so we can only speculate on this thread.This said… he sounds very ‘gaslighty’, deceitful and non committed, also getting free labour from you without telling you the reason behind is exploitative and shitty behaviour from anyone (be it a BF, a friend or a f-ck buddy). You’re dating someone who won’t tell you about his important plans and just for this I would not be emotionally invested in this man, nothing wrong with keeping him as a “friend” (observe inverted commas), but he’s absolutely not BF material OP.

You sound so lovely OP - a thoroughly decent and kind person. In the future you will look back on this as a very lucky escape. The universe has given you a gift here. He’s not the one for you and I think you probably knew that deep down before this latest event. We just don’t want to admit it to ourselves because it means we have spent 18 months or whatever investing in someone who isn’t living up to what you need.

I would be totally civil, totally polite if you happen to have contact with him in the road but that’s it. He’s not welcome in your house and your time is too precious. You are just way too lovely and way too important for him. And you’re going to be way too busy enjoying yourself…

💐 for you!

Hi op,

Yes I would ask because really until you know what is in his head, you can’t just assume that it is bad news.

However, the question is more…Do you want/can be with someone whom so downright knows nothing about your emotional needs? Do you feel that he can understand that pulling this kind of things isn’t nice? Will he be likely to act more like this in the future…while married…with children? The guy he is, is the guy he is. Either he grows and gets you or he isn’t. Which is it?

Good luck 🌺

Let us know where this house is and the name of the estate agent and we’ll ALL book a viewing then ask the most ridiculously detailed questions, make silly offers, ask if the furniture comes with the house and offer a stupid amount for it plus a discount on the house. Drag it out but don’t say anything to him.

He’s an absolute dick for doing that to you but more to the point the way you describe the relationship and your response says you are in a really unhealthy relationship anyway.
If you think he’s going to gaslight you, major red flag . He’s giving you anxiety because you don’t know his next move and he’s making you feel worthless by not communicating.
Take some control and get rid of him.

100% this is the best approach. What a pr*ck!

I don't understand how you can be completely intimate with someone yet not able to talk to them about what's going on. It seems bizarre to me. I'd have been right round there to ask if we're still in a relationship or not!!!

OK, OP!

You said he's evasive - He's a coward; afraid of co frontation. He didn't want to run the risk of losing his 'leg over', 'neighbour with nipples' before he put his house up for sale. That's how he's treated you. He's wanted to have his cake and keep eating it for as long as he possibly could.

I doubt he has financial problems. Again, he has a problem with telling the truth. Gaslighters normally also have disassociative behaviours and borderline personality disorders - This in turn makes them compulsive, pathological liar.

He has treated you with indifference and no respect what-so-ever, in not telling you. He's wanted to keep the peace for his own convenience.

Now you need to treat him with indifference. Do not react, or speak with him again. Wave to him like a friendly neighbour and carry on with your day.

If you have the chance - Hide fresh fish around and in his property. The smell is hideous. Hide it under a carpet and place it inside curtain poles, pipes etc. (Childish, but so satisfying).

Book a load of false viewings.

Get yourself an escort/one night stand and snog their face off outside of your house, where he can see you, and leave your window open while you have wild and loud sex.

Forgot to add** Be a noisy neighbour. Next time there's a viewing - You open your windows and blast some metal music. Blast some songs about support for Trump, put posters of Trump up in your windows, on your door, decorate your garden with garish American flags, put flashy lights for Christmas and Halloween together, get a 12ft inflatable Santa...ah, I wish I was his neighbour. I'd have so much petulant fun. 😈😈😈😈😈😈

good riddanc x

I wouldn’t ask him a thing. I wouldn’t tell him a thing. His (lack of) communication is a marker of how he sees you. Complete fade-out and if you must say something, let it be ‘oh! The relationship’s over. Did I not say?’

It's well and truly over.

If you don't ask him you'll never know exactly what is going on. You are in shock at the moment and its an awful situation, but make sure you are 100% sure of what exactly is happening, then decide what to do.

Folks - she posted three days ago. Things have moved on.

How strange mmm Perhaps his moving in with you 😳

Oh god this thread continues. Has op still not answered this?

Sounds like he saw this as a friends with benefits situation not a relationship. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. Probably better off without him though. Maybe a hotter, nicer single guy will move in

I'm at a loss for words ShockedAF. I just don't get this. Your story is saying that you've been with him for 3 years. You live next to each other and you've basically been helping him to 'declutter' his house and now he's up for sale? And you haven't immediately gone round to ask him what's going on? And you're asking an Internet forum what to do? Somebody please take me home...