WWYD? BF moving didn’t tell me

[ShockedAF]

Been with bf 3y.
We live next door. We see each other most days and have done for the last 2y.

Recently he’s been on tidy spree, saying he wants to declutter his life. I was over there last night seemed normal.

Today a For Sale sign has gone up. He’s at work. Photographs already online at the Estate Agent.

He’s texting as normal. I feel sick and shaky. I’ve gone ice cold.

He’s decluttering me out of his life isn’t he?

My plan is to just block him and never speak to him again. WWYD?

The fact he's just messaging you as normal would make me really angry. Does he genuinely think that you are that much of an idiot? That you will just brush it all under the carpet?

He has form for being a liar and a gaslighter. When you have caught him out in a lie before he laughs. It doesn't matter that it's a "small" lie. I actually find that more concerning that he's the sort of person that can casually lie about little things and laugh when caught out. He's not a mature, emotional stable grown up (clearly, considering this latest debacle!)

You getting closure doesn't mean you have to meet up with him and end things nicely. Valuing yourself more highly and not allowing yourself to be treated like a stupid doormat....that is how you move on and grow. It doesn't need to be a big argument, I wouldn't be entering into any discussion with him...... he's not rational enough for that.

If I were you I'd be keeping him archived but sending him one last message to say it's over and not to contact you. Then ignoring him forever. He has been in the driving seat up to now....take back some control. He'll hate it.

OP, the issue you seem to have isn't that he's moving without telling you. It's the above. he will gaslight. Which is something he does.

In which case, what on earth are you doing with him? Gaslighting is a noted and insidious form of mental torture (it goes beyond mere 'abuse') designed to make you question your own reality. Next it will be 'you're not right in the head; your imagining things', when you call to memory something you know happened, but which he now denies. Does anything sound familiar about this?

The above eight words, which you yourself typed, are your answer. No need to block (and no point, if he lives next door). Just distance yourself and think it a blessing that he's moving on. I'm pleased that at the very least, you've seen this man for what he is. That's the decisive first step.

I posted in shock before realising there was 27 pages of replies. Ignoring the side squabbles of the utterly demented and bored, well done you for detaching so successfully yourself and going stone cold on his ass. This is for you, keep up the excellent work…

Keep them to yourself then

'We' can, can 'we'?

I don't think so...

She has asked him...

The ridiculous part is people not reading and keeping up...

Except that she HAS asked

I think some posters need to learn to read

As he wasn't around it didn't hurt to find out what others thought

She's pretty much already answered all of those

And he's not worth it

Perfect!!
I’m going to save that!
Maybe I’ll send it the day he leaves.

This ⬆️, don’t let him just get away with treating you like this. Make him squirm first and see what he says, then dump quick before he gets in and says it.

I would buy a new house card and write 'Good luck in your new home - don't know where it is as you chose not to tell me. This is not how to treat someone ', and post in through his door. Then I would not contact him again. If he came to explain, I would keep him on the doorstep, listen, repeat - this in not how to treat someone, and close the door.

shan’t 👌

It is actually his house?

Has he said where he's moving to @ShockedAF

Considering length of relationship and physical proximity…. You seem to NOT communicate freely. Like a lack of comfort talking about this, your relationship, and next steps.

If he’s gif financial trouble, honesty issues. Etc. I’d say no future.

But you need to be able to express yourself freely, be angry at lying, and tell him. Put youstlf first.

I think you are doing marvellously, but I wouldn't be replying or having any conversations with him ever again.

Personally, I wouldn't ask. You said he is known for gas lighting and he knows you would see the for sale sign so is most likely waiting for you to react so he can then pin blame on you (and say he told you, you're over-reacting etc). He is clearly looking for a reaction or he would have mentioned it. I would see him when you next arranged and act normal (hard I know), then conveniently be busy for a while. If he is that bothered about you, he would have made you aware of his plans so I wouldn't give this idiot any further satisfaction by letting him know you are bothered. Keep your chin up, you are worth so much more

Yes, really slippery!

so as long as you realise that the friendly (or rather, pretty insulting, like all he has to do is pat you on the head a bit) texts are entirely for his own benefit then fine.

’Hi X hope all is well, just to say there’s no bad feeling but I’m not really up for chatty texts etc. Take care, OP’

Well yes of course ask him WTF is going on and why he hasn’t told you, why wouldn’t you ask. Weird behaviour all round. But you need closure if it’s over.

Maybe he's hoping to move in with you. Just text there's a for sale sign outside your house.

Not sure why I'm bothering to post as there are so many responses already.
It's clearly an odd relationship without any communication. So your plan is to not ask him about the house going up for sale as he didn't tell you it was going up for sale and although this is eating you up inside, that feels like the sensible thing to do!?
What an absolute waste of energy. At least if you ask you'll know where you stand. You also need to consider what you think is reasonable in relationships moving forward. You're currently putting up with all sorts because to challenge would give them satisfaction of you loosing face. You need to think about where your priorities lie. Having peace, calm and honesty in your life or just a list of people you have unresolved issues with and have blocked.

Ask him, then whatever he says, just inform him he is dumped for being a dick. Don't argue or explain why. Just dump him and block him.

Whatever reason he gives (if any), not telling you is unforgivable.