Disappointing proposal? Gather here

[GoldenGirl85]

So, we’ve been married for over a year now, but I still can’t shake this feeling about the proposal. I’d always said I wanted something private but special. Instead, it was just a quick question at home—no decor, no planning, and I even had to find us a restaurant to celebrate afterward. I’d say I’ve 70% forgiven him, but I still think, why did you flop so badly?

To give him some credit, he was extremely nervous and said he asked on a whim because he felt like doing it there and then. I understand whims, but I would have preferred for it to be planned.

Anyone else had a similar experience? How did you move past it?

My husband proposed on the phone half way through a work trip to the US. He went out to celebrate with his friends, while I was stuck on my own and couldn't even tell anyone because it was time-difference late! It was absolutely not the proposal of my dreams, but it was a romantic impulse and that's the bit I appreciate. He was missing me and our family, and just blurted it out. We had a wonderful wedding and we're happy together. It's entirely pointless dwelling on one thing that wasn't quite right. I don't think he even thinks about the fact the proposal was a bit naff!

You've been married for a year and are still not over it? And ... decor? I can't decide if this is a wind up lol if not then I feel sorry for your poor husband

This is why making it into a big deal is a bad idea. Who cares?

My husband isn’t one for great demonstrations of affection in that way, my proposal was one Saturday morning as we got up I asked him what we were doing that day. His answer? Well you want a ring so shall we go ring shopping? We then decided together to go out for a meal that night. We’re still married 18 years later, he still isn’t comfortable with grey big shows of affection, but he is very affectionate and thoughtful with me, caring in the things he does, very supportive and a great Dad. It’s not all in grand gestures. I may have had thoughts of big proposals when I was younger but I got the best man

Why on earth does he need forgiveness? The poor man, I bet nothing he does is good enough.

That sounds a lot like how my hubby proposed and I wouldn’t say it was disappointing at all.

he decided the evening before that he was going to propose. Went out the next morning to buy a ring whilst I was getting ready and sorting out 6 month old out, cos he said we were going for a meal that night.

im in our living room, wrapped in a towel, hunched over drying my hair and turn around to find him on his knees with a ring box.

i know he planned to propose when we were out for dinner but I also know that he was likely excited but also really nervous so just did it there and then.

i think it was adorable!
The fact that your other half took the steps to ask you to marry him, shows how he feels about you - I imagine it’s quite a nerve-wracking thing to do. I know I would never be brave enough to do it!

As long as it wasn’t as ‘romantic’ as Mr.Darcy’s proposal to Elizabeth Bennet it can’t be a real thing to be sad about, can it?

Oh, come on! "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you" is pretty romantic, despite what follows.

My lovely man was so nervous. He had chosen the ring himself (called my mum in the jewellers to ask if it was good choice). He even asked my dad's permission & told my 2 children. (Second time round for us both). We went for a walk & he was so off that I thought something was wrong !!!. Back at home he went to make a cup of tea for me then rushed back in, got on one knee and proposed. I said yes of course x He did hv glasses & bubbly hidden. TBH my ex was so controlling & horrible (DV so went through years of Court cases) that I would hv said yes if he gave me a plastic ring x It is the thought that counts literally xxx I want to spend the rest of my life with him so that is the most important thing x

I’m referring to what followed. Pretty not romantic.
‘In declaring myself thus I am fully aware that I will be going expressly against the wishes of my family, my friends and I hardly need add my own better judgement. The relative situation of our families is such that any alliance between us must be regarded as a highly reprehensible connection. Indeed as a rational man I cannot but regard it as such myself – but it cannot be helped.’

A big, staged proposal is a Hollywood-fuelled fantasy.

I don't think my husband ever proposed, or at least I can't remember it... We both agreed to marry at some stage. I've never met a more generous, loving or caring man so far. We've been married fifteen years, and he still has not done a thing I can resent him for. I know of many marriages which started with expensive, supposedly romantic, highly staged proposals, and have already ended - often in expensive, not exactly romantic ways. Why do you even keep thinking about how he proposed? Perhaps you need to rethink your expectations of married life? Your poor husband. A year has passed, and you're still trying to forgive him for this? God forbid he ever does anything wrong by you.

Yes, essentially ‘My cock is overriding my rational objections to your low birth and ghastly family, and I’m going to be a laughing stock once word of this gets out, as I am a rich, aristocratic catch and you are human mud, but hey ho.’

Are you an Instahun @GoldenGirl85? Because this is the only reason why I could imagine you’d be so cross about it.

I think my MIL wrote that for DH

Well, really. I don’t understand how it should be done, clearly we went badly wrong. Bought a couple of rings at lunchtime having seen the magistrate that morning. Got home, gave DH the ring box and told him I’d close my eyes and expected him to be doing the right thing when I opened them. He was on one knee, so I said yes! Got married in court four days later and about three hours after that I flew out of the country (long story but he lived on another continent, I could only stay 3 months at a time and the magistrate would only marry us if I got on my flight). I got back to him 6 weeks later. That was 30 years ago tomorrow. Never mind the proposal, our wedding only had us, two witnesses and the magistrate, and I wore the home-made dress I’d worn the first time he took me out. Then I changed into my jeans at the airport, gave him my dress in a bag and got on a plane.
I still fancy him madly, some people might think it wasn’t much of a wedding but I don’t know anyone who has done anything like it.
I’m finding it hard to sympathise - maybe it wasn’t what you’d expected or dreamed of, but if he’s the man of your dreams then that’s all that counts really. It’s not about the proposal or the wedding, it’s about being nuts about each other.

My (now ex) vehemently didn’t want to marry. I was fine with that. We went on hol to the Maldives for his birthday. A lovely aircon , de bugged island… I’m deathly pale. He had a surprise, we hopped on a boat to a private island. Think 5 course on the beach.., the gazebo had bn burnt to a crisp. It was unbearably hot for us both…too hot to eat anything…we found the only bit of shade spent the time waiting to be picked up by slapping the bugs off each other…he blurted it out..I thought he was joking. Afterwards he said oh something’s wrong with your face…the bridge of my nose had vanished & my head had swollen (think mega mind) he still did it though 😂 whisked me off to the dr where I was convinced theyd deflate my head/face with a pin… we split a couple of years later…unrelated to that ..he didn’t actually want the marriage bit…just reserved me apparently…
be happy you’re with somebody who loves you & wants to marry you ..at least youve not bn reserved!

😂😂😂

sorry but this is brilliantly hilarious!

My son was living and working in Australia with his girlfriend C
when they were home in Scotland I said my other two daughter in laws were given a piece of my deceased mums jewellery.
one had a diamond put into her wedding band.
the ring left was stunning white gold diamond solitaire Dil loved it. Tried it on it fitted perfectly.
secretly my son later asked if I could post it as he was going to propose before they came back to the UK. It took about 4 months to arrive. It went through so many countries. He planned to propose in Bali on Xmas day
however another couple did same in their hotel, he had his hand on the ring in his pocket when C said why would your special day to be Xmas. It should be a special date of your own
he stuck it back in his pocket and proposed while delivering her breakfast bacon roll with the ring inside 🤣🤣

Dh and I had booked a trip to Paris for our anniversary and we got out there and I had the most godawful cough. I spent so much time hacking my guts up in the hotel room while he went out to dinner on his own. Anyway, had dinner one eve and I said, can we get back to hotel quickly as I want to go to bed. He spent so long trying to get me to ‘go for a walk and enjoy the evening’ when I felt like death that I was getting quite grumpy with him. He persuaded me to sit down on a bench and then he start blathering on about our relationship and then pulled out the ring. I was totally surprised. Of course I said yes but it was a bit crap due to me feeling so poorly. He was also in a bit of a tizz due to my grumpiness so forgot to get down on one knee which I do tease him about. It wasn’t the most romantic of evenings that’s for sure. Not what’s important though, we’ve been married for 13 years now. Try not to feel too disappointed about the proposal and just concentrate on the future you have together.

I hope he's 100% p!ssed off at u because u didn't ask him 🤣

Oh, this is just GREAT! I was totally happy and secure with the proposal my DH gave me 47 years ago. UNTIL, @PaperGloves had to go and mention naked butlers serving champagne.

NOW, I want a do-over! Off to Google naked butlers who serve champagne.....

I asked my husband. We was in bed one morning & just blurted it out. A few months later he got me a ring & asked me in Argos! We "officially" got engaged on valentines day. Went out for a meal & he handed the box over & said you better have this then! Sadly he died just before our second wedding anniversary.
My current husband got down on one knee wearing only a Guinness apron & a Russian style hat complete with ear flaps! Will have been together 15 years in December & married for 8.

Yeah, sorry about that. Maybe you could renew your vows with one? Maybe I was advertising my new start-up…?

Absolutely! Is that the first or second proposal/declaration of love?

Sounds like a plan!😇😎 Good luck in your new "venture". 😆🍾