Disappointing proposal? Gather here

[GoldenGirl85]

So, we’ve been married for over a year now, but I still can’t shake this feeling about the proposal. I’d always said I wanted something private but special. Instead, it was just a quick question at home—no decor, no planning, and I even had to find us a restaurant to celebrate afterward. I’d say I’ve 70% forgiven him, but I still think, why did you flop so badly?

To give him some credit, he was extremely nervous and said he asked on a whim because he felt like doing it there and then. I understand whims, but I would have preferred for it to be planned.

Anyone else had a similar experience? How did you move past it?

It really does not matter. A happy marriage and good relationship are what is important!

At least he didn't sit you down and consider if there were tax advantages to getting married instead of asking the question. Thanks DH.

It's the marriage that's important, not the proposal or wedding.

You really do need to get over yourself and stop believing in fairy tales. He loved you, he asked. For a reasonable woman that would be more than enough.

My husband proposed over a KFC bargain bucket and the Simpsons movie! Count your blessings 😆

No decor? Like you were hoping for a balloon arch or something?

I do think that proposals can be a little OTT on expectations these days. DH asked me as we sat at the traffic lights waiting for them to turn green! We celebrate our Ruby Wedding next year.

Why does it matter where or how someone proposed? Surely the fact that he DID propose is the important thing. Do people actually discuss how they want a proposal to happen beforehand? I thought the whole idea was to ask someone to marry you as a surprise.

Really, OP?
You've '70% forgiven him', but think he 'flop[ped] so badly'?

Can you just read that back for a moment and try t see how you're coming across?
Does your dh know you feel like this?

Your poor dh.

My dh proposed over a cup of tea in the living room. Wandered if I would marry him and when I said yes I would he replies great let's book it! No ring as he'd given me an eternity ring the year before.

It's a happy stable marriage and we support each other with everything that's been thrown at us over the years. I love him dearly and I still find him very attractive.
Far more important than how he asked is how the marriage actually is

Decor???

Mine walked back from the bathroom, half-shaved, to ask me!

Decor?!! What on earth..?

I’ll blow your mind here but my DH didn’t propose at all. We had a very boring but lovely chat on the sofa one evening about life in general and came round to deciding we’d like to be married. Three months later it was done. Mind you, we’d been together nearly 20 years so neither of us was hanging around I hope of a big plannned decorated Proposal.

As per PP, it’s the marriage that matters.

You lost me at decor.

What are you, a Disney princess?

We went for a walk in the forest and got lost. Then were in bed in the evening and decided to get married. I was over the moon. The getting lost on the walk was actually nothing to do with the proposal. I just mention it to add a bit of interest. 😁
Late dh was a wonderful man and a great husband and dad. I couldn't have hoped for a better husband. That's what matters. Sorry you were disappointed though.

I assume the OP meant nice lighting, maybe even some candles and a vase of flowers.

A lot of people would consider it romantic that he wanted to marry you, in an ordinary, everyday moment, so much that he just blurted it out.

I was stress-eating a bag of crisps when DH proposed.

I want to know more about proposal ‘decor”. Is it rose petals arranged into a heart shape? Or a door wreath with a ring box in it?? A naked butler offering you champagne?

Btw I have absolutely no problem with this - it’s a funny story and we’ve been together for ages. Trust him to choose just that moment!

P.S. Now-DH was so nervous when he proposed to me that he completely forgot his prepared speech and just blurted the four words out and then stared at me dumbly. That was much more romantic to me than any "decor" could possibly be.

Decor?!?!?!

Totally agree with this.

What is this ridiculous pressure on people to make such a big thing of the proposal? It's bad enough the number of people who make the wedding and all the shenanigans around that the be all and end all of their life!
It's loving each other and wanting to be together and making your lives together that is the point of marriage. Not how the poor guy proposes!

I'd just come out of the shower, wearing a towel and dressing gown. DH came in looking so stressed I actually asked him if he'd crashed my new car (I'd just bought it)
Then he got down on one knee..

No fairy tales here and we're still going strong almost 20 years later..