MIL gave toddler milk when she is allergic and was impressed with herself.

[Ghostcushion]

I’ve been having issues with my MIL who seems to have to have the last word about everything and she always thinks she is right.

She had our toddler at the weekend and when we collected her she says. Oh we just gave her whatever we were eating, I didn’t bother checking or not if it contained milk but I know the pie did.

She has been milk free for almost 2 years. Failed the milk challenge a few months ago screaming in pain with diarrhoea. She always questions my decisions like I’m making it all up. Daughter is under the dietician her whole life because of the allergy and terrible reflux.

Im not sure what to say to her? She was literally smirking at me that she got one up on me. She has no idea or no care whether this caused our child pain she just looked to be trying to get one up. I’ve made it clear over the years she doesn’t have milk. She also when I picked her up listed all the things that she has done differently to me…. Eg I didn’t give her any of those treats you left with us, I didn’t need to use the dummy as much as you etc etc.

WhY on earth would the mum think that OP is lying about the allergy when the child is under a dietitian, been milk free for nearly 2 years and has recently been really ill with diarrhoea. She has a medical diagnosis but you think that her MIL was right to suspect that her DIL was lying and that it was perfectly OK to give her food that could really harm her.

You are really scraping the bottom of the barrel here to make MIL the victim and OP the villain.

There really is no villain. That is the point.

There absolutely is a villain. Her MIL deliberately went against medical advice to try and prove that her DIL was lying about her child's allergy. Who would do that? Certainly not a loving grandmother.

@HVfan how is there no villain? MIL didn’t bother to check whether there was milk in anything. No-one should do that if you know a child has an allergy

To the person saying it's not an allergy, it's an intolerance?! Poppycock!

Allergies can present as gastric disturbance, they can also present as life threatening at ANY POINT.

I think the OP knows her daughter better than you do!

Having chonic diarrhoea is not nothing, some food intolerances are accumulative and the initial symptoms are subtle and increase over time, you quite obviously have no idea what you're talking about. The simple fact is that MIL has no right to go against parents' wishes and medical advice, it was an outrageous thing to do and an obvious power play against OP, all because MIL 'mommy dearest' is not getting her own way with her son so she's asserting herself on OPs daughter.

I agree with Tessiebear2023.

The only thing I will say is OP can't be sure it did cause diarrhoea as her MIL had DS for the day and OP wouldn't have known. MIL ain't gonna say on pick up of DS.

Saying that, OP has stated DS has had these reactions and the amount of milk on the pie may have been for glazing and so little it didn't do a lot. Hence the MIL's massive smirk on pick-up.

Deep down she knew what she was doing and thought what's the smallest amount I can give DS.

This is meditated, deliberate and so wrong. Predict MIL will try bigger amount next time to double prove it.

Either way you do not play with someone's life. What if he had had a massive annafolatic(?) reaction and needed an ambulance or died. All because she wanted to prove a point!

@HVfan what lie? The OP is under a dietician for the toddler. They have to do the milk ladder. No-one makes up a dairy allergy for the shits and giggles (it’s usually to prevent the shits!) Such a pain to check all ingredients constantly. Maybe toddler has grown out of it (fingers crossed). DS grew out of it when he was 2. We had a relative who queried whether it was real but they didn’t have to see DS in distress after having milk.