Anyone watching married at first sight? Eve showing classic signs of narcissism/abuse

[Waitforit7]

What are your opinions? I’m seeing a classic love bomber, even down to the smile and way she holds herself, she seemed determined to almost immediately engage in push pull, and seems to be eroding slowly Charlie’s sense of self and self esteem. Charlie is mildly histrionic and attaches herself very quickly, but it seems her attachment remains, eve is the typical player, goes all in, and then once she’s hooked someone starts to withdraw, stonewall, punish at any sign of emotion, and talk a lot about essentially how dramatic the other person is and how she has to walk on eggshells? Isn’t it funny that the people who say “I just hate drama” are the ones who tend to constantly create it? Eve has only stopped the love bombing because Charlie was hooked so fast and easily, they are incredibly bad pairing. Eve seems to enjoy seeing how quickly she can get Charlie emotional and seems to always be slyly pushing buttons. She creates situation after situation but puts it all down to Charlie’s emotions and is already smear campaigning her as an angry person who shouts and is abusive. She’s accused her of shouting when she’s not shouting she’s just upset, and seems to get off as a classic narc does when Charlie emotionally explodes while playing herself off a cool, mature, and drama free. Don’t get me wrong, Charlie seems insecure and too invested too quickly but that’s exactly what a narcissist gets off on. I can on one hand understand the pressure of the experiment, but eve acted as though she’d found her soulmate and now she is in the devalue/ semi discard/ gaslighting stage/ smear campaigning to others subtly, what do you guys think?

I thought my family were dysfunctional till I watched MAFS!
Lacey's mum is behaving appallingly - I had to pause it as well!

And why does Kristina keep crying?

Yeah I mean they keep going on about her being emotional and I hadn’t really seen it up to that point, but now I get it

And the way the daughters surround her to console her, it seems like a familiar pattern to them. His joke was not rude, he’s a vegetarian, of course it’s disgusting to him. If anything he was laughing off the rudeness of them coming to cook and not bothering to factor in he doesn’t eat meat. They could have put some to the side without meat in it. It wouldn’t surprise me if some of laceys bad luck with men isn’t down to her family. Luke is so chill though, and polite, that he’s probably the best chance Lacey has of someone tolerating her family, and they still found fault with him. Awful behaviour

Sounds like you had a rough time OP and I'm so sorry. It truly is a difficult experience to recover from. I'd never met this personality before [luckily] so couldn't work out what was going on for a long time, or why this person seemed to be attacking my character, showing disrespect, twisting my words and meaning and generally manipulating the facts, rewriting history and the truth [to make me appear a bad person]. I can see now it made me try harder to please and apologise when actually nothing and no one is good enough for them. They can be charming though [when it suits], but the push/pull is exhausting and disturbing, apart from wasting many years of our lives.

They are deeply unhappy, empty people who can only feel good when taking decent people down, breaking them down and controlling our emotions/reactions by verbal abuse. Very unhealthy, very toxic, very confusing especially as I was also supposed to be a soul mate/best person ever met! But I did some research, found they ticked every single box of covert narcissism, a text book case! Then everything made sense and I bowed out.

Eve and Charlie have meant it has made me revisit the awfulness of it all as it has for you and now I'm sure/certain neither of us will ever experience the like of it again. All the best x

Yep the rewriting history, going around in circles for days, sometimes weeks just having your mind abused over made up narratives and feeling like you’re going to explode. I had an amazing passionate mind and body connection with this guy, and then he’d flip the switch, I found it incredibly hard to extract myself from it. Like you, I was apparently the love of his life and he’d never felt that way before. In fact it was only knowing for sure he was a cheat that made me realise I had tolerated so much and loved him through it all, but no way would I ever stay with a cheat. He did me a massive favour cheating on me. I am incredibly grateful that relationship ended, and yes it bought it all back up seeing Charlie and eve, but in a good way (although not good for Charlie of course). I mean we saw a small segment of the very beginning of a narc relationship, which was heavily speeded up due to Charlie falling so fast and the pressure of the experiment, but really eve touched upon all the traits, but was just warming up. It would have got so much worse for Charlie. I say it was in a good way because seeing the mind controlling abuse from the outside made me see that these people work off the same script, it’s like a demon, something truly evil. Her blank psychopathic predatory stare gave me the creeps. Sometimes my ex would just stare at me and it was like he was trying to see into my mind and then his face would go blank like that. His eyes like darkness. Maybe there is hope for eve having such public condemnation from so many sources. Maybe it will lead to the kind of self reflection that the majority of narcs will never be forced to address. I do know that all people have flaws and weaknesses and life has screwed people up in various ways. Accountability is where the true journey begins. I am glad you are out of that awfulness too x

Right, not seen tonight’s ep yet, just catching up on the last couple of days.

Orson - deserves better than Richelle, he’s genuine and seems v emotionally intelligent. Richelle isn’t ready to trust. At all.

Sacha & Ross - I LOVE these 2, hope they go the distance.

Adam - fucking manbaby who cannot take accountability for anything, and is hoping Polly will dump him before he has to look like the bad guy. Thinks he deserves perfect but his actions rate him at a 4 at best.

Polly - I know she’s seemed like a bitch, but I think she’s also been manipulated by Eve, and is actually that ride or die friend we all want in our corner. She’s nitpicked at fuckface Adam but he deserves it.

Emma - bloody love her, she deserves her Prince Charming. Who is not Caspar.

Caspar - another self centred manchild who’s never had to take accountability for anything. Never going to settle down.

I read a lot of this thread before watching the series and then binged watched the parts with Charlie and Eve..
im really shocked by eves behaviour. Classic covert narcissist. Shocking to see it played out as clearly.

It was Lacey's mother who had my jaw hitting the floor. So, so rude and then playing the victim

Why didn't they put some veg aside for him? Poor bloke just sat there whilst they stuffed chicken down their gobs. Mental

Orson seems like a nice and genuine guy, Richel isn’t just not ready to trust, she has got a cruel side, I’m not sure if this is a defence mechanism, or if she’s just used to really toxic men, who don’t express their feelings. Either way, even if a random stranger poured their heart out to me, I would t coldly shut them down and tell them to not tell me sob stories, never mind someone I was attempting to build a relationship with. Orson seems to have shaken that off, and Richel seems to have softened, but I fear it’s only a matter of time before something similar happens, I can’t help but feel like sonoene as open as orson, is wasted on someone who scorns that kind of vulnerability. Of course we’ve seen only a snippet of orson, maybe Richel was pickin up on things about him that I can’t see, time will tell.

I love Sasha and Ross also, she annoyed me with the celibacy thing, I didn’t have romantic or sexual relationships for 7 years, I wasn’t “celibate” I just didn’t have a partner and wasn’t seeking one. 9 months is nothing, it’s just being between relationships. I’ve just done another two years “celibate”. I think would have made more sense if she just said she doesn’t do casual sex, and has to have an emotional connection, seems she feels different to the rest of her generation, and maybe she is, but this attitude used to be a lot more common, and it’s still normal for a lot of people to not do casual, I do like her though, and think they are a great team.

Adam, can’t stand him, he is superficial and not someone I’d be remotely interested in. Polly seemed ok, but I don’t like her much now either. I’m not sure she’s ride or die either, I think she’s a bit of a bully, and could switch sides and probably likes a gossip.

emma is sweet and so positive, Caspar I actually feel sorry for, I think he is a nice and gebuine guy who was paired with someone that is very much like his sister in looks and personality. I’m not sure either of them will ever get over that hurdle, but as they get to know each other more, that might change.

love the crazy duo and their names escape me but she’s super emotional to the point where it’s quite unerving, but maybe that’s the pms she was talking about. They are a great match anyway.

lacey- she’s a bit like her mum, but seems to have calmed down a lot, at the beginning I found her quite annoying and felt she was holding Luke to a standard that was too high for the beginning of the experiment.

this new couple- he creeps me out, his eyes are scary, his insistence he is a gentleman while making sexual comments is a sign ed flag to me, time will tell

Gotta love Luke, all that drama & he hasn't noticed what's going on 'i think something was going on at the other end of the table"

There's something innocent about him, not a bad bone in his body.
The mother in law was totally destroyed by him & it looks like she deserved it, it's really intimidating to say to someone who is neurodivergent to 'look me in the eye'. How bloody rude.
He just can't do that he's too socially awkward, but then he comments that the food is disgusting (he's vegetarian as well as neurodivergent so if course he will be that blunt).
Cue mother in law breaks down in tears, he's destroyed her with one comment. Go Luke

Isn’t Lacey’s partner called Nathan not Luke?

I think he is called Nathan 🤣 I’m so bad with names, maybe he looks like a Luke 🤣 yeah he destroyed her with one comment, but she is clearly either neurodivergent or personality disordered herself. She spent the whole of the beginning going on at him about how he must do things, Basically nothing he is doing is good enough and she’s telling him how he should act instead. The whole other sister prettier thing is just creepy and I think fuelled by the mum anyway. I’m not a fan or personalities who are blatantly rude to someone, and she was talking really negatively about him at the table like he wasn’t even there, but then one comment and they break down and everyone is fawning all over them. I would be polite if she was my mother in law, but I cant say I’d look forward to her visits!

The show is very abusive this time. The UK version always seems like a pantomime the Aussie version is much more rounded and less chavy. They're also better looking.

Oh yes sorry, him anyway, the one with the bossy mother in law, nightmare

I thought the same with the traitors I was watching one from Australia (I think) & they're all playing tennis & badminton, while the UK version, getting pissed & bitchin 😂

I agree. There’s a lot of size shaming this time. And definitely abusive behaviour and double standards.
If Eve was a man then a lot more would have been said about her gaslighting and if it was Adam pushing Polly for sex and not this way round, he’d be getting ripped to shreads

Last year was crap with the whole series pushing Ella’s journey as the main storyline but this year I think the show has jumped the shark.

It is uncomfortable to watch. Although Bryce Ruthven and Melissa Rawson were bullied by the other contestants live on TV. Cringe.

There’s drama in every single show, no matter what country. There has been size shaming, but some of it I personally feel that the person who has another preference is the one being shamed. Unfortunately the “experts” have the attitude that they are the ones that know best, and so even when someone has clearly stated their physical type, they will get paired with the opposite of that, and then shamed for not fancying them, and I find that quite disturbing. The way the experts push sex also when someone clearly states “I don’t want to have sex with her because I’m not feeling it and I don’t want to mislead her”, and they’re like “just do it”, I find it all pretty grim. Out of the likely thousands of people who apply for this show, they could easily stick to what someone has asked for both physically and mentally, rather than acting as though physical attraction isn’t important and the physical attraction can “grow”, I’d dislike being with someone where the attraction had to grow, and let’s face it, most of the time that doesn’t happen, and you can be so compatible with someone, love their company, have tons of the same interests, but you don’t want to shag them. That person is called a FRIEND. In my opinions the experts could try a little harder to match people with their preferences. If I went on the show and found out I’d been matched with someone who fancied the opposite of my physical type, I wouldn’t blame him, I’d be annoyed with the experts. Men can be very visual and can often know almost immediately if they would want to shag someone

Have finally caught up all last weeks episodes. Totally agree about Lacey's mum..she's clearly not used to anyone ever standing up to her. They way her girls were fussing over her like she was a child. And how bloody rude to not cook the man something he could eat ! I do find it a bit weird that they essentially have a pop at people for not being attracted to their partners. It's not really something you can control is it?

Just watching last nights episode, Richel is a b she clearly wants a toxic and monosyllabic man, and there are soooo many out there. Shaming him in front of her mate and his mate for being vulnerable about his ex cheating on him. Not a good look. She’s a bit old for him also, if he wants to have kids, which majority of people do. She’s very emotionally immature. On that note, can’t mafs find better matches than a single child free woman paired with a dude with 4 kids. The kids thing should be non negotiable and the contestants should tick whether they are ok with it or if it’s a 100% no. I have children and would never want to be paired with someone who might be put off by it in any way

The filming seemed to imply that Richelle turns after a drink ? Anyone notice the way she was sat there with the wine and then when she stormed off to top up there was only a drop left in the bottle, indicating she’d had it all hence the outburst?

I noticed that also, like a dribble left in the bottle. I think it’s just her personality though, she’s just quite a cold person, and would prefer to be with someone who isn’t an open book, it’s probably what she’s used to, and has probably caused her a lot of heartache also. She clearly doesn’t trust orson and is looking for issues, and doesn’t want to hear who he is as a person or anything he has been through

I’m really disliking Hannah. She is very arrogant and I think thinks she is incredibly good looking and above her groom. Actually I think he seems to be a much nicer person and much better looking than she is. All her “banter” digs when they were drawing, was just plain nasty and I think made him go off her, then the argument and threats to expose private things they’d discussed off camera. I do not like her personality at all, I don’t think it’s going to work out between them

Yes Hannah seems exhausting , volatile and just mean. I imagine her ‘banter’ becomes tiresome after about two minutes and it seems her husband thinks so too.
But I also can see no reason on earth for anyone to think that their pairing would be a good idea 🤯. She wants kids, he already has four, craziness!