Yep. This was my ex all over. He for example decided I fancied someone, and that was that for months. Vile things said, breaking up with me, calling me a liar, making me cry and try to reason with him…..
the facts:
The guy was his friend
I never met this guy in person
The ex invited me on an online webinar that this man was hosting
That was the first time I saw or even knew of this guy
I didn’t have the guys number and would never have contacted him one to one anyway
I didn't contribute to the webinar discussion
It was a topic I was interested in hence I accepted the invite from my ex
My ex was on the webinar also
I had a neutral expression on my face
I wore no make up, hair in a bun, rollneck jumper
My ex knew I dont feel sexual attraction unless I have a deep emotional connection
I was in love with my ex and crazy for him- and he knew this 100%
I was aloof with other men, have no male friends, don’t hug men, not touchy feely, and open and honest about all my interactions with others with my ex
His evidence:
The guy is handsome (according to him- I didn’t think he was anything special, and the thought wouldn’t have crossed my mind anyway)
The guy was around his age and they looked a bit similar - I was with him which means I must like older men- meaning according to him why wouldn’t I fancy his friend
I sat too close to the camera
I looked too interested in what he had to say
So he kept me up for about 6hrs after that meeting ranting on at me, when we had a date the next day. I didn’t take it seriously at first and believed he had deep insecurities/ had been hurt in the past. The date was tense. As time went on I defended myself over and over again to no avail. I was baffled, hurt, deeply distressed and hopeless. I should have dumped him at that point. He dumped me. I spent weeks trying to get him to listen to me. We got back together, he never apologised, and on occassion he would bring it up.
This is one example of many of his character attacks and crazy making behaviour. No basis in reality at all.
I could give many other examples. I was 100% faithful and honest. He accused me of many things with no basis in reality. He enjoyed calling me “liar”, just like I saw Richel enjoy calling orson a liar.
It is pointless building anything with a narcissist, they live in their own reality. Sometimes they believe the things they are saying, they have some kind of mental disorder that as you say makes them delusional. Sometimes they are very damaged from their past and someone’s actions towards them, this causes delusions and they aren’t fit for a relationship, they need therapy. sometimes it is pure projection, they have to paint you as a villain so they feel no shame for what they are up to behind your back. Sometimes it is a tool to manipulate you to make sure you never do betray them, so you spend your life centred fully around them. They betray people all the time, so they consider others will do the same. Sometimes they do it so that they can watch you break down. Sometimes they do it because they thrive off drama and they need an injection of it when no real drama is happening. Sometimes it’s to manipulate you into a fear of them leaving you, so you will do everything they say. Sometimes it’s because they have new supply and they want to pursue that, so they need to think of a reason to be angry with you/dump you temporarily.
The thing is, their cruelty is mind blowing and not something you’d normally accept from anyone, but they’ve hooked you in so badly with the lovebombing, and these episodes come out of nowhere, and your mind is so full of how to make things right, you can’t bear to leave them because it’s good so much of the time, you love them, and you can’t bear for it to end over something that’s not even reality.
They are very clever. The thing is Richel is employing these tactics on someone who didn’t even have a chance to get into her, and he’s having none of it. I can only imagine how her previously relationships have gone with men who really were into her, either she has destroyed them, or they were a particularly toxic lying cheating kind of individual that kicked off this in her brain to begin with.
My ex would deliberately start conversations with me designed to inflicts wounds. He would accuse me of being someone I am not, and didn’t seem to want to know that I thought very differently to him on various topics, and he considered me to be lying if I said I didn’t think/feel/act the way he would in various situations.
He was a cheating liar, surprise surprise, but I was particularly innocent to the signs of that, and wanted only to think the best of his. Lesson learned!
I wouldn’t trust Richel, she has deep wounds and is also likely projecting. Her lack of empathy and kindness makes her the type very likely to cheat or lie if is serves her to do so.