Anyone watching married at first sight? Eve showing classic signs of narcissism/abuse

[Waitforit7]

What are your opinions? I’m seeing a classic love bomber, even down to the smile and way she holds herself, she seemed determined to almost immediately engage in push pull, and seems to be eroding slowly Charlie’s sense of self and self esteem. Charlie is mildly histrionic and attaches herself very quickly, but it seems her attachment remains, eve is the typical player, goes all in, and then once she’s hooked someone starts to withdraw, stonewall, punish at any sign of emotion, and talk a lot about essentially how dramatic the other person is and how she has to walk on eggshells? Isn’t it funny that the people who say “I just hate drama” are the ones who tend to constantly create it? Eve has only stopped the love bombing because Charlie was hooked so fast and easily, they are incredibly bad pairing. Eve seems to enjoy seeing how quickly she can get Charlie emotional and seems to always be slyly pushing buttons. She creates situation after situation but puts it all down to Charlie’s emotions and is already smear campaigning her as an angry person who shouts and is abusive. She’s accused her of shouting when she’s not shouting she’s just upset, and seems to get off as a classic narc does when Charlie emotionally explodes while playing herself off a cool, mature, and drama free. Don’t get me wrong, Charlie seems insecure and too invested too quickly but that’s exactly what a narcissist gets off on. I can on one hand understand the pressure of the experiment, but eve acted as though she’d found her soulmate and now she is in the devalue/ semi discard/ gaslighting stage/ smear campaigning to others subtly, what do you guys think?

Notice how Charlie is already in the position of being the one who works for the relationship, when asked what eve could do to make the marriage work with honesty box, Charlie immediately went into a speech about what SHE would do to prove she’s a good person an worthy to eve, and her requirement from eve is just to let her do that….

charlie is decent and keeps relationship struggles private, she doesn’t bitch about her partner. The honest answer would have been, stop being a gaslighting, lying, manipulative, gossipy, fake, avoidant, abusive b**tch

Eve “we had a rough time in Mexico” cue narcissist smirk (eg, I’ll be holding that over you forever even though I’m the one that abandoned you and created the drama that led to your emotions, but it works for me because I can use it as an excuse to make you back down, please me, and also as an excuse to exit the relationship any time I want”

That was so difficult to watch tonight because Eve is coming across as everything you describe and I feel so sorry for Charlie. She needs a friend in there. I hope the experts intervene with Eve.

Op, are you Charlie?

Seriously, your excessive and personal comments are unhinged.

Charlie and Eve both have attachment issues on either end of the scale. They aren’t well suited and haven’t got along properly since the wedding day. The only reason they are together is because they want to believe in the ‘experiment’.

Charlie went from declaring her love on the wedding day to throwing her wedding ring at Eve whilst in the sea. Charlie is aggressive and needs therapy. Eve doesn’t handle conflict well and walks away, although I don’t blame her as we can see on camera how Charlie escalates in the blink of an eye and doesn’t allow her to talk. Yes, Eve asked Charlie to stop shouting when she wasn’t- that wasn’t manipulative, that comes from a learnt response. When you get used to that being someone’s immediate reaction- you can react yourself prematurely as a defence mechanism.

Eve seems exhausted. Charlie seems excessive. They are toxic to each other.

💯 I noticed that too! She looked a bit guarded at first but she lit up up when Charlie kept apologising and saying she would prove Eve wrong. Had Eve been the one to answer that question she’d have turned it around on Charlie. She’s been majorly gaslighted, I think the experts will back her up next time.

And I’ve noticed Eve’s harsh blank stare you spoke of but Polly has a similar glare as well. I think Adam has gone well and truly off Polly.

If a man finds a woman attractive there’s a lot he can overlook, but he didn’t find Polly attractive sadly and now he doesn’t like her personality either so it’s dead. There’s zero incentive for him to stick around.

Ugh 😣 another very hard watch tonight.

@Loubelou71

Just catching up but I think Charlie is fake crying all the time?

There's lots I don't like about the format; one that really bugs me is the mismatch re kids. They did it before, matched someone with a man who didn't want kids. It's fundamental. We know that Alex has been accused of EA in past relationships and there had been some work to try and have him removed from the show. His attitude toward his partner having kids made me so mad that the show let this happen to a woman with kids.

No, I’m very interested in narcissist dynamics, and I saw it on the wedding day, hence started a post for other to discuss it, maybe it will help people who are stuck in those kind of dynamics. It’s also interesting predicting what will happen and then seeing it play out, as narcissists work often off a script with familiar patterns, you are totally free to scroll on by as maybe it’s not the post for you?

charlie is loyal and consistent, she’s displayed a few emotions. Eve is 100% an abuser and a very bitchy toxic and manipulative individual. Charlie could be happy with a non abusive non gaslighting empathetic and consistent partner. I don’t think eve would be happy, as she seeks to gain the upper hand through engineered conflict/push pull/ crazy making behaviour

Yep, eve looked guarded and a bit afraid, afraid the truth would come out, but now she’s realised she’s really got Charlie properly in a submissive position.

yeah eves evil blank stare, it’s actually scary, but very commonly mentioned about narcissists- the dead stare

Polly is gross, a bully as she accused Charlie of being, and 100% I reckon her relationship is dead unless Adam’s into that mean girl type, doesn’t seem like he is though. We don’t know all that eve said to polly though and she may have been utterly infuriated and feeling defensive of eve- but the way she kicked all that off was awful behaviour.

Absolutely what I thought too … so much so I searched Eve mafs narcissist tendencies and your post showed up as I wondered if anyone else had noticed this too. I thought they were great on day 1, but nothing but red flags about Eve ever since .. when they show Charlie shouting on the honeymoon yes it looks awful, but it’s out of context, Charlie has been hurt in the past & it’s coming out in anger and frustration. Eve is managing to play things out exactly as she wants, causing the drama she says she ‘doesn’t want’ and not resolving the issues she has when all Charlie is wanting to do is resolve and move on but it’s going round in circles, it’s not that they are not a good match but Eve would be the same, emotionally abusive with anyone as she doesn’t think she can possibly be the problem .. ever!

I worked for a domestic abuse service for a decade and Eve is showing so many classic traits of being abusive. It makes for unpleasant viewing, and unless the editing is unfair - if it continues, producers should be stepping in.

Are you Eve more like?!

Agreed.
Charlies emotional meltdowns are symptomatic of a person being emotionally abused.

Charlie's mistake is falling too soon.

I agree OP Eve annoys the hell out of me, that walking out is super irritating, & I don't think she is really avoidant, I think she's doing it for power, she's getting a lot of attention doing that, I feel bad for Charlie actually. She's a bit of a princess but I still think she's far more interesting & honest than eve

Haha I was thinking the same 🤣

This also crossed my mind.

At the wedding, the smile eve gave, the ultra charming, I’m going to sweep you off your feet behaviours, snogging her face off, reminded me sooo much of someone….I just felt a very negative feeling about her, but of course not everyone ultra charming and love bomby is a narc, some people just seem to fall hard and fast. Not eve though, eve waited until after all the shagging before she went for the off switch, narcs need to have conquered someone in order to then start devaluing.

Never seen more drama from someone who “doesn’t like conflict” 🤣

I don't get it? I don't see it.

Can anyone give me an example of a scene in the show?

I have only noticed that Charlie doesn't actually seem to be crying. No tears. No red eyes?

There’s lots of examples on the post, read through it

100% for power. The term avoidant can be very misleading as people with this personality type often create lots of drama. So they aren’t avoidant to drama, they are in the middle of it, and they can be incredibly exhausting. They are only avoidant to accountability for wrongdoing, making up properly, talking things out. Some equate avoidants with being drama free gentle little souls who just need space. With many of them, that’s a false picture. It’s just a tactic of abuse they use to as I said, not be accountable.

It’s hugely annoying how they keep reappearing, “reconciled” when they can’t seemingly go 5 minutes without getting into an argument. It’s clearly toxic and theyre never going to work.

it’s annoying me how they both keep coming back for more!!

Was in the fence until I watched tonight's episode. Eve definitely has unheard trauma, but the way she split the group off into her supporters and wanting to look like the victim and Charlie as the bad guy is very manipulative.

They certainly are. The deep pain and frustration of feeling someone you have felt a deep bond with, or love, just switching off from you, discarding you, push pull, hot and cold, where you don’t have a clue where you stand, you are constantly trying to make it right and get back to how it was. The only problem is, you don’t know what happened to switch them off to begin with. Being falsely accused and abandoned can trigger deep emotional responses in just about anyone who is in love/infatuation. Charlie’s self control in social settings and her loyal nature are evident, and her emotional make up is exactly what a narc looks for. I’m utterly disgusted at the producers for pairing her with a narc, ruining peoples lives for drama. They are no experts

I'm active on the MAFS daily thread but jumped on here to say 100% agree with OP!

Eve is full blown narcissistic personalitiy disorder if I ever saw one. Polly is the Head flying monkey. Charlie is typical narc victim; reactive, highly emotional, questioning her reality, taking blame.

It's so blindingly obvious to those of us who have been forced to learn all about this bizarre dynamic.

The fact anyone questions whether Eve is that bad demonstrates how utterly devastating NPD people are to their victims. They're often not believed and look crazy. Granted Charlie has alot of issues but Eve is the most sinister I have ever seen. It's difficult to know how aware she is of what she's doing. It looks so ingrained in her.