Apologies for not replying earlier.
I've begun reading the replies and wanted to address some of the comments so far.
When I first met him, I was super attracted to him physically. I didn't really know him as a person when I first met him, but physically I found him very attractive, and within a few weeks, we began sleeping together, as I got to know him better.
However, as time as gone on, I calmed down so to speak, and found myself wanting to do other things rather than jump into bed with him at every opportunity!
Its like he sees my house as an oasis of relaxation and sex. He actually says to me 'I come here to chill out and relax.'
So I feel a pressure to keep that atmosphere. Yes, I agree it's people pleasing.
He stays over 2 or 3 times a week so we see plenty of each other, but for me, I don't feel the need to have sex with him every single time he stays. He, otoh, doesn't seem (to me) to want the early days of dating to change.
He makes it clear with innuendos and stating how attractive he finds me that he's looking forward to taking me to bed so this appears to be the highlight of his visits, whereas I'm happy to watch a film, have a chat and go to sleep.
The expectation to have so much sex is putting me right off if I'm being honest.
Despite finding it difficult to speak up, I've told him I don't want to feel like I'm disappointing him if I don't feel like it, and he agrees that he doesn't want me to have sex if I don't want to, and for a day or two, he won't mention sex, which incidentally makes me warm to the idea of it, but then he reverts back and I find myself either keeping quiet and getting it over with, which isn't easy because he likes long sessions, or repeatedly bringing how I feel up again and again!
Speaking up is something I'm working on but still find difficult, so constantly bringing it up is hard.
He suspects I'm losing interest in him, finding him less attractive, which I suppose is true. I told him a few weeks ago that I'd rather he waits for me to initiate, which makes me want to more, but even then, it feels to me like all the conversations we have, the films we watch, the dates we go on are just time fillers until we get to the bit he seems to be interested in.
He says he's happy just spending time with me but not all language is verbal, as I'm sure you all know.
Maybe it's my low self esteem, but as an example, he only ever looks visibly excited by having sex. You know when someone is passionately engaged in a conversation or a film or sight seeing, yet he only looks visibly excited when I mention getting undressed or sex.
I hope I'm explaining it well enough for people to understand.
It makes me think of someone who is addicted to something, maybe alcohol or drugs who is just coasting along, not really enjoying any moments, until the opportunity pops up for them to satisfy their addiction and suddenly their face lights up! There's a twinkle in their eyes, as if they've been waiting the whole time for that moment! They behave like they 'come alive' when there's an opportunity to fulfil their desire.
If I thought sex wasn't on the menu, I feel like I could relax and I've told him this and when he doesn't bring it up, I find I want to much more, but it's all a lie, because even when he doesn't mention it, I know he's only not mentioning it, not because he's not thinking about it, but because he's hoping it will result in me initiating!
We do talk about other things, watch films, go on dates, visit places, but it just doesn't feel like he enjoys my company as much as he enjoys the sex 🤔.
So I have tried, maybe weakly, to explain how I feel.
Hope that clears up some of the confusion.