I'm not who he believes I am!

[Fromageversion]

NC for this but wondered if anyone else has this problem, or ever has had and what you did about it.
Been with DP for 18 months. We dont live together because I'm happy living independently.
When I first met DP, I was a total people pleaser and really didn't want to disappoint him, so I pretty much went along with whatever he wanted to do.
Fast forward 18 months and I feel much more secure in the relationship but now I find that DP has this fixed idea of who he thinks I am, and I'm not that person.
I think this is because I'm not very good at speaking up for myself.
He prides himself on having found someone who he thinks is his perfect match but I'm not that person.
It's like he's created a version of me in his head, a version of me where I'm highly sexed, go to sleep really late every night, am super organised with domestic stuff to the point that I can completely shelve most domestic tasks while he's here because I can catch up very quickly when he's not here, that I smell amazing all of the time, prioritise my self care routine over everything and doing my hair and make up takes just a few minutes because I always make sure I've done these things before he arrives, and it's like if he can't see how long it takes, then in his mind, it doesn't take long at all!

It's so difficult to explain.
I'm not highly sexed, I make the effort when I see him, but he believes I'm like that all the time, because that's what he sees.
I don't shave my legs every single day, but he thinks I do because I shave on the days he comes over.
I don't enjoy some of the programmes he wants to watch, but I watch them because I don't want to disappoint him by telling him I don't enjoy them.
I don't cope with only 4 to 5 hours sleep but I stay awake longer when he's here and feel exhausted the following day because he thinks this is normal for me, because this is what he sees.
I'm making an extra effort because he's here, but that's not who I am normally.
How do I go from this version he has created of me to who I really am without disappointing him?
It's becoming harder and harder to keep up the regime!
When you first meet someone, you put your best foot forward and somewhere along the way, I chose to keep this up and not to relax and be myself and now it feels too late, like I've been misleading him for a long time, but when I try to tell him for example, that I'm tired and I want to go to sleep instead of having a marathon sex session, he doesn't believe me. He'll say "But you love sex/you're never tired at this time."
I tell him I am tired, that I usually go to sleep by 10pm, but he genuinely doesn't believe me!
I'm only awake now because he was here this evening and I told him I was tired and needed to sleep, and he couldnt understand why. He says I've not been extra busy today and asked if I'm ill. I explained I usually go to bed by 10pm and again, he didn't believe me.
He usually stays the night and goes home on Sunday evening so I didn't think it would be a disaster if I went to sleep.
He's now gone home because he says if I didnt want him to come over, I should just say, rather than claim I'm tired when he knows I'm not tired.
It's like he thinks he knows me better than I know myself yet I don't think he knows me at all.
Any advice?
Currently feeling quite relieved to be able to go to bed but where do I go from here?

Yeah but again it’s been 18 months.

Yes, and 18 months to 2 years is about how long the honeymoon phase lasts. After that it starts to be less about being in love and more about real life. That's quite natural. Do you really not have any experience of this?

Most people don't have a complete personality change after the "honeymoon phase". They don't suddenly stop liking TV shows, stop personal care, stop smelling nice. The OP said herself all this was due to her people-pleasing needs. Not because of honeymoon-phase-enthusiasm.

This.

People don't sleep for exactly the same length of time every night.

Sometimes they are tired due to X and need 10 hours, sometimes they have to get by on 4 hours if they have a flight to catch.

People look different on different days, depending on how much time and effort they have put in.

People can want sex, or not want sex.

Even if OP had done none of the adjusting stuff, the boyfriend would still be banging on about how he knew the "true her" was a glamorous easy going sex bunny based on one date in 2022.

I'm quite authentic in my early communication and presentation with dates...

one thing I have noticed the super creepy ones do is "tell me who they believe I am and what my true self is and what makes me happy" based on very little interaction.

He's wilfully choosing to misunderstand her to get his own way. Dump.

He's 36!
I have done exactly as you've suggested because I feel much more comfortable about speaking up before he has made the effort to drive over, and he will be fine about me doing housework, except when he gets here, it's obvious he didn't expect the housework to take very long.
So he'll chat and help while I clean one room, say for example the bathroom, but if I then move onto the kitchen, he'll say "You could do that anytime! You have all evening tomorrow to do that when I'm not here!"
And tbf, I can see his point. He believes we should prioritise each other when we are together, instead of prioritising domestic stuff. House work should be kept to a bare minimum because we don't spend every single day and night together so should make the most of it instead of wasting that time doing chores, but I like to clean up after dinner instead of leaving it until the following evening. I like gardening at the weekend. I enjoy reading.
None of those activities would include him because he doesn't like washing up and isnt very good at it either, hates gardening and I read on my own.
They are just a few examples and he thinks I should do things like that when he's not here so I try to.

@Fromageversion You cannot and should not prioritise someone else's needs 100% of the time. You do not exist merely to satisfy and entertain him. When he leaves, you're left with the washing up and housework to do while he gets to go home and relax because someone else has done it all for him. He's getting a great deal out of this, meanwhile you're left with extra work.

He won't even help with the washing up. He's not prioritising your needs at all. It's all about him. Can't you see that?

He sounds childish.

Oh, come on. He believes that you should prioritise his cock when he graces you with its presence.

I think a lesson to be learned is never pretend to be interested in things that don’t interest you.
I’ve seen advice on here telling posters to join clubs which hold zero interest for them, in order to meet a man/woman. Bad advice.
I don’t know if this us true for the op.
However, it will come back and bite you on the backside.
If you can’t stand Jazz, then don’t join the local Jazz group.
Be yourself.

This may have been said - have read all your posts OP but not each of the replies so apologies if so - but, it really just shouldn't be this hard if it's a healthy relationship. End of. You sound lovely and deserve someone you aren't arguing in circles about what you are 'usually' like and with whom you can be entirely comfortable without it becoming 'a thing'. Sounds bloody exhausting!

He didn't create this version of you - you did.

He's into you for your looks and the sex. You haven't felt confident enough to be your real self - probably for good reason. I don't think this relationship has got a future.