Dating Thread 250 - Autumn

[librauk]

The Rules:

• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
• Develop a thick skin.
• Do not invest emotionally too soon.
• It's all BS until it actually happens.
• Trust your gut instinct.
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
• Know your wortH.
• If it's not fun, stop.
• Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

On a separate note, someone had a first date today - sure it was mentioned on the previous thread.

@nervesofcotton I forgot to come back to you on the previous thread too. Sorry!

Jumping onto the new thread with a little update. Had four successful dates with a Mr Newkind.

Not my usual type and 11/12 years older than me. But he's kind, intentional, funny - which makes him more attractive and he's very interested in me. Makes such a change from time wasters.
He messages lots, arranged dates, is attentive. We've paused the dating apps and two, maybe three dates lined up for next week.

Fingers crossed it'll develop into something lovely for as long as it's meant to.
Finally someone who's taking dating seriously at least!

Happy Equinox day…
Looking forward to Autumn for the first time ever as leaving my job in December to go freelance, so hoping for new adventures 😁😁

following

@JaquiRussell
Great update 🥰

Well date number two with - I dont know what to cal him i had been calling him mister thursday but thats a bit invalid now lol - thursday/sunday ha went really well. Like the first date non stop talking, constant eye contact and this time he did tell me he liked me and we kissed. Like kids. In public. I hang my head in shame now for that but it was cute. He messged to make sure i was getting home and got home ok and first thing this morning back talking so its positive anyway.

@Singleandnotsureifreadytomingle Great update! Did you get to the bottom of why the second date took a while to materialise?

@aqualibra99 I like what you said about matching their energy - that's what I'm trying to do but hadn't articulated it that way.

Well it is because apparently he did actually ask and I did not answer but I assumed he was just asking if I was working from home or office and when I said office he assumed all day and that I was not free so did not press it. I told him in future to use his bloody words cos I didnt think he wanted to see me again and he was like I feckin talk to you all day every bloody day and you didnt think I liked you? I said well yeah you did not specify to be fair so now he has specified lol

@Singleandnotsureifreadytomingle I love this! 😂😂 “use your bloody words!”

I mean men tell us they are not psychic but eh, newsflash, neither are women. Fucking assuming. Anyway we are now clearer on that score. What we talk about day in day out and then non stop in person I couldnt tell you at this point!

It was a good kiss though.

Yayyy! That's good, and that you are communicating about communicating!

@JaquiRussell - lovely to hear your positive update! Intrigued to hear what you think about the 12 year gap? As a now middle aged dater I find it difficult to consider anyone outside a few years older- lots of health issues including cancer/heart attacks etc for the 10+ year older partners of my friends have dissuaded me from being open-minded about age.

@occhiazzurri Of course, I turn 39 next month he's 50
But for me I cannot date younger just doesn't do it for me. I've always had a preference for older. My sister died last year at 48, she'd only been married 2 years. So I guess for me nothings permanent. You never know how long the relationship will last nor what is round the corner, I could be the first one to go!
So if you can, I wouldn't let it put you off someone

Still chatting to the guy from Bumble who's from my home town but moved an hour away.

I go on holiday on Wednesday for a week and he’s just said let’s go on a date when I’m back.

So I have a week in Crete to look forward to then fingers crossed a date to cheer me up when I’m home and cold

I’m 58 and wouldn’t go more than 5 years older or younger I don’t think.

I’ve never been attracted to older men even in my young days. And now the thought of dating younger just feels a bit cougary and that’s so not me .

This guy is actually 2 years younger but that’s hardly anything.

@JaquiRussell - I think I am just not prepared for the heartache my friends have gone through shortly after getting together with their partners. To be honest, even disregarding the health issues etc, I haven’t met any 50 year olds I have found attractive let alone any 57-year olds!

I love it when there’s positive dates in the air! Lovely and exciting updates.

Joining this thread to see the chat & join in the commiserations/celebrations.

@occhiazzurri I’m in a fwb/maybe dating situation with a 57 year old (but I’m 50 though so older than you!) and I’m another one that prefers older men. He’s really quite beautiful tbh, a complete rogue and it’s more a bit of fun rather than anything that will last, but he’s really quite fanciable despite his age 🤣

@occhiazzurri I'm with you on liking the younger men! Different strokes for different folks and all that.

I've only ever dated men younger than me but at the age of 49 I think I've finally grown up!

Mr Indie (53) was the good but quick date I had last Friday. We've arranged another for Sunday.

Mr Denim (55) was a proper chatterbox when we spoke this evening but didn't lock down a date although said yes when I suggested we meet in person next.

I know that keeping irons in the fire is the name of the game but it does feel a bit weird talking to two people at once (when it's not just for casual purposes!)

Does anyone else find this?

@MargotMoon I end up having to try and remember what I’ve said to which one 🤣 It’s weird but as you say, keeping irons in the fire isn’t such a bad thing!

@Browniesandcustard Yeah that's the problem! My perimeno brain can't remember one convo let alone two in detail 😂

I defo could not do it I can only concentrate on one thing at a time anyway and with the dating stuff I wouldnt be able to chat to more than one man at a time. Just not for me and it might be a lot more fun if I was able to do that but even with that hinge app I met the one lad I am stil chatting to/dating and from the start I never would have been able to talk to someone else. Just not in me.