PLEASE HELP ME

[exhaustedmum24]

My ex is refusing to return our child like normal tomorrow!! Saying he ain't bringing her back and that she now lives with him.

What do I do? Who do I call? 😩😩😩😩 someone help me please.

He's on the birth certificate and he has parental responsibility....... my mind is going mental!!

You can only get a restraining order if someone is convicted of a crime against you. You could try applying for a non molestation order but you do need documented recent evidence of DV.

Do you have any support eg parents nearby, or even far away? Could they lend you the money? I'm not sure, but you might be able to get reduced fees under the Help with Fees scheme.

Sorry didn’t reply to other question, I asked for it because when he used to get her from me he always started on me and used to say things little digs and remarks all the time and make me feel shit throughout our relationship he hasn’t been very nice. Controlling and manipulative. He uses our daughter against me all the time deliberately has her the opposite weekends the boys dad has them soo I don’t get free time etc that kind of thing

I’ve contacted women’s aid before, I have text messages where he’s been like that too. There’s couple of police incidents where he’s come round and started.

i don’t have anyone who can lend me the money to do this I have no support from any family. My mum lives 10 mins away but she works 4-5 nights a week

Calm down. If he’s working full-time, he’s pretty soon going to realise that he can’t manage a 17-month old full-time. So he’s just bluffing as I seriously doubt he’ll want to pay for childcare. Not sure if the restraining order was also in relation to your daughter - if not, he might have been a shit stepfather to your sons but he might make more of an effort with his own daughter.

He said he's going too just not go in work. I can't even think properly I'm soo stressed.

Does he have form for making threats which he then doesn't follow through on?

I don't know 🤷🏼‍♀️ he knows there's no one else I can get as middle person and he has noone else and he's just messed that up.

I don't want him at my house or round my boys because the things he says are disgusting.

For example 'your mums Angel boys she tried to kill your sister 4 times'

Like who says that to an 11 and 8 year old.

Their dad was not happy when he was asked questions about that after when he picked them up for the weekend. My 11 year old even asked me what he meant by that. 🤦🏼‍♀️

What's this 'middle person' about? What is it for?

You need to ring ss and hey their advice, tell them your worried about your child as he won't return her

Because I’m sick of him getting our daughter and starting rows with me constantly and putting me down and making me feel shit and speaking to my other children like crap constantly. The police also advised I get someone else involved soo he doesn’t come to the house anymore.

What's this got to do with SS??

I will do this first thing.

Social services were informed because I rang the police about the emotional and mental abuse I get from this bloke and have been getting for the last year.

Phone Right of Women - they give free legal advice

Contact your local domestic abuse organisation - type "Domestic Abuse help" + your location.

You won't have to pay if you can show you are on benefits

There's nothing they can do. This is a waste of time

They will just advise you to go to court.

I've had a different experience with them and found them very helpful when dealing with a similar situation. They will at least be able to advise on what the OP needs to do

Unfortunately, they will likely tell you there is nothing they can do. They don't get involved in contact situations, and as he has PR for her, he has equal rights to her. All they will say is that you need to get a Child Arrangements Order in place. (This is one of the reasons I gave up my job in MASH, as I couldn't take any more of listening to distraught parents when they were told Children's Services couldn't help.)

As has been said above, he's going to find out that he needs to continue to work to support himself and his daughter, and if he just doesn't go back to work, he will lose his job, and I don't think he'll be entitled to any benefits straight away.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5133828-ex-just-wants-to-punish-me-and-uses-our-daughter-against-me

this will give you some light on my situation I will link the previous threads

You'll need to just appeal to his better nature and tell him he won't stop seeing her whether you can get someone else in the middle or not

Yes, go to court, that's the advice

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5111671-had-to-call-the-police-on-my-ex