PLEASE HELP ME

[exhaustedmum24]

My ex is refusing to return our child like normal tomorrow!! Saying he ain't bringing her back and that she now lives with him.

What do I do? Who do I call? 😩😩😩😩 someone help me please.

He's on the birth certificate and he has parental responsibility....... my mind is going mental!!

OP, the police won’t remove your daughter from her father but it is possible that they could call with him for a welfare check on her, since he has refused to return her as agreed.
I do understand how awful this is for you. Please try to get help/ advice from Women’s Aid or similar asap.

He’s known to police, yes? Then wait calmly. He might be saying this to upset you, cause you a sleepless night.
Wait until an hour after agreed time or if he messages you refusing to return, whichever is sooner, then call the police. State that he is known to them.
They will have dealt with similar before.
Then when you have your daughter back you can contact people pp have suggested.
You could contact HomeStart and see if they can suggest an intermediary.

Prohibited steps order.

go to court. The clerk will help fill it in and work out finances

Are you not entitled to help with fees?

https://www.advicenow.org.uk/know-hows/getting-help-pay-court-fee-civil-or-family-case

Police, and citizens' advice regarding free legal aid maybe?

Call his bluff. There's no way he'll phone in sick forever. At worst it will be tomorrow.
Who looses after your child whilst you're at work?

I would tell him to get her home in the next hour (or by 8am if that is your preference now it is late) or you are calling the police.
Tell him that that will go against him when you go to court for contact arrangements as it will be documented that he failed to return her to her primary carer as agreed.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this Op you must be in hell right now. Mediation does not work where one party is abusive, there’s absolutely no point going down this road as I’m sure you know, other people should stop suggesting it. What he has done is outrageous and hopefully once you do get a contact order in place he will be warned (with consequences ) not to do it again

you will need to go to court to protect yourselves more going forward. See if you are eligible to make a free application, and get women’s aid or similar to help work out if you can get legal aid.

The more outrageously he behaves now, in a way the tighter an order you may end up with.

If you think she is okay with him and being cared for then I think your focus needs to be on soothing your nervous system so you can deal with this, you need to think clearly so you can make the best move which is how to get to court as fast as possible. He is not going to get residency, that is ridiculous.

I’ve spent a long time dealing with a dreadful ex partner who put me and our child through misery. Watching a show on TV not so long ago and a character said “it’s a knife fight in the mud”. It really feels like that sometimes. You’ll both get hurt as will your child sometimes (I’m so sorry) but ultimately in all likelihood he will lose his daughters respect and probably lose her from his life because of his behaviour. You have to bear it, be the adult, think strategically and try to stay calm. Your love will protect her. all this starts with self care, so take some breaths, hug yourself. See your gp if you’re depressed. You can get through this and she will be back very soon.

Guest's right that a restraining order has to link to criminal charges, but not that he would have to be convicted. Mags and Crown courts can also make restraining orders on equital when there isn't enough evidence to make the charges stick often as a key witness hasn't turned up.

If the police haven't charged him with anything it would be a civil non molestation order. Worth getting if he's abusive.

Most courts will waive fees if you're on benefits or otherwise can't afford it so just fill in the form that PP linked and send a covering letter esplaining why you can't afford the fee. Courts tend to be very sympathetic to genuine financial difficulties.

@exhaustedmum24 Does he have any family that you are in contact with? Can you let them know?

My son can be a dickhead at times, but granddaughters Mum knows I would never stand for him pulling that stunt. She will always get back to Mum on time.

Sorry if have missed a response already.

Ring the police tell them they need to go round and do a welfare check on your daughter as she should have been returned to you but he is refusing. Because of the other issues you have you need a welfare check immediatley.

you may be entitled to legal aid - call a solicitor tomorrow

Make an emergency application tomorrow . Telephone your local court and ask for their process. You will qualify for fee remission if in receipt of benefits. Apply for a child arrangements live with order plus a specific issue order for her immediate return on the basis she lives with you. Make your concerns clear to the court in a supporting statement

I don't work at the moment. I'm waiting to hear back from university.

She's meant to be home tomorrow at 5 and he has said she's not coming home she will live with him from now on.

Police won't do anything it's a civil matter and he's on the birth certificate.

OP are there any factors like him drinking to be taken into consideration here? Have the Police either charged or warned him about anything?

I haven't got his family involved because it's between me and him.

If he doesn't return her tomorrow like he's saying he won't then I will message his auntie.

I will do this tomorrow if he doesn't return her.

He cannot stay home and be with the baby if he needs his job for his income. Contact the police so they can bring her back

He got arrested and a suspended sentence for being a jealous ex back in 2009, he saw an ex out with some blokes he beat them up. He got done for GBH and had to do community service and was given a suspended sentence it was in the local news paper.

They won't do anything it's a civil matter and he's on the birth certificate.

Yes but the baby was with you. This will be regarded by the authorities. He has a criminal past and I am sure they cannot just left your baby disappear into his home

OP, if you are on income support or universal credit you will likely qualify to have the court fees waived, you won’t have to pay the full fee or any fee depending on the benefits you get.

You can go to the court house, fill out the form, get an emergency hearing and then an enforceable court order. You need a specific issue order and an emergency hearing. Take evidence of the benefits you receive, the court clerk can help with filling the form out but not legal advice.

you will have a fight to fight dear and you will do it. That is life for some

So you invited him into your home to live with your children, then subsequently had a baby with him, which ties you to him forever?