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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do they ever come back? Devastated.

1000 replies

Pleasenotme · 17/09/2024 16:25

Long time lurker, occasional poster, nc'd for this. DH has told me he wants a divorce. I can barely write this as I am so devastated and struggling to keep things together. Been together 35 years, DC. I thought we had everything. Says he hasn't been happy for a while, wants to sell our house, have a new start. I know men rarely leave without having someone in the wings. He was adamant that there was no one, but youngest DD saw him meeting up with a woman not far from the house. It was pure fluke she saw them as her nursing shifts mean she is not normally around at that time and I was in Scotland visiting my DM. DD told me about this only after DH had told her that he is divorcing me as she had been worried about it but didn't want to say anything in case it was innocent. He denies an OW. Of course. I know this woman on a casual basis and have socialised with her as part of a larger group. She is married with two young DC. My DD babysits for her occasionally.

I feel like an explosion has gone off in our lives. I can't believe this is happening. He is like an ice man with me, a stranger. He has said the most cruel things. Our marriage has had the inevitable turmoils and ups and downs but he is my soul mate. I thought we would be together forever. I can't stop crying, I can't work - thankfully my boss has been very kind - I had to ring Samaritans last night as I was so very bleak and was having panic attacks and I didn't want to be here, I just wanted it all to go away. I know that sounds foolish and selfish. He has moved out and is staying with his sister locally. We are not close so there is no point talking to her about it.

I love him so much. I can't imagine life without him, I just can't. Is there anyone on here who has had experience of their DH doing this to them AND coming back? I am grimly aware of the number of men who dump their DWs during the mid years of their lives. I suspect I am clutching at straws but this is like an earthquake. I am totally desperate for this not to be happening. Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
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13
Howmanycatsistoomany · 18/09/2024 15:16

I'm another who would tell the husband; I'd want to know if my OH was fucking around (the fact she hasn't left him yet suggests she's not planning to or she's not got her ducks in a row yet). Anyway, I'd be blowing up her world too.

FGS don't give up your job. Take some time off if you need to but don't let this damage your career.

Itsmostlygristle · 18/09/2024 15:20

Don’t make any changes in regards to your job as your seeing everything through a blurry shock filled lense at the moment. When it happened to me I had to really hold on and not throw any grenades in my life as I felt so utterly bereft. But I’m glad I didn’t, the feelings evolved over time.

Sceptical123 · 18/09/2024 15:22

Pleasenotme · 18/09/2024 14:57

Oh god, I'd actually never thought of that. Not for one moment. Hasn't done her much good though, as youngest DD doesn't like her, although not as vehement as other DD, and found particularly her eldest DC very challenging indeed as he is a screamer, kicker and biter (he's not ND). And now something further has occurred to me. Youngest DD is a nurse but had been thinking about changing careers. OW works in an interesting field and repeatedly offered DD work experience there, which DD declined as it just wasn't her thing. Perhaps I should be Christian about this and accept the offer at face value but now I'm reviewing all of our family interactions with her over the past 12 months and it is dawning on me that she did cultivate opportunities, although not with me after the initial getting to know you stuff. I'm cringing as I sent DH to her house to give her a lift once when her car had broken down and she had to get her DC to nursery and she sent out a request on FB. I thought I was being kind: clearly no good deed goes unpunished.

😣 do you think this is when it started or before? So sorry what you are going through. You are sounding stronger 👍🏻👏🏻

Bayern · 18/09/2024 15:23

Telling the OW husband pushes her and OP's H closer together. It creates a them against the world situation and makes her the misplaced point of blame for all of their anger. It is not her responsibility to take that burden on herself, and no one here has any way of knowing how the OW H will respond, or what the state of their marriage is.

TheShellBeach · 18/09/2024 15:26

In fact, there is a new thread every day from a woman whose husband does this to her.
Scum, the lot of them.

Itsmostlygristle · 18/09/2024 15:27

I wonder how attractive these affair partners really become once the secrecy is gone? I always think the wood of the desire fire in these situations is the secrecy then when it’s all in the open they realise they have nothing in common and that they’ve fallen for a selfish arse, well maybe they have that in common!! Sometimes they just hold a mirror up when you’re going through a boring part of life - a new shiny mirror which will soon get filled with dreariness of day to day life.

Allthehorsesintheworld · 18/09/2024 15:33

In time you’ll find your anger. You’ll move through different stages.
You won’t always feel this bad.
And everything @Autumnblackberries says.

Frenchcountryhomes · 18/09/2024 15:35

Looking for revenge won’t make you feel better in the long run. Just chill him out and don’t give him anything to use against you. He’s not worth it .

ArabellaScott · 18/09/2024 15:36

OP I don't know if someone's already said, but you have been/possibly are still in shock.

This may mean confusing swings of emotions, numbness, etc. as well as physical symptoms. The latter are easier to treat - with rest and self care.

Emotional first aid is a good plan. Remember to drink water. Try to eat a little when you can. If you can manage a walk that can be helpful. Small, mundane tasks, especially repetitive manual labour. Don't read the news. Check in with your breathing. Consider who might be able to help from friends, family, support organisations. If you can't sleep, rest is also good.

You will recover and things will be changed, and things will improve. In time.

Be extra gentle with yourself. Flowers

Anothernamebite · 18/09/2024 15:40

To answer the question @Pleasenotme yes they do sometimes come back once reality sets in. At the moment he's probably living in a fantasyland. It explains his behaviour towards you. He has created a fantasy you which you would not recognise in yourself. Probably something along the lines of a nagging, old woman. He created this as part of the compartmentalisation his brain had to create to enable him to do such an abhorrent thing to you.
Give it a few months, maybe less, he will probably come back to earth with an almighty bump. He may well experience a nervous breakdown. Both you and he may wonder if aliens had taken over his mind. It really is a thing and it is devastating for the discarded spouse. Have faith in your inner strength.

delusionalspell · 18/09/2024 15:44

So sorry you are going through this, OP.

My did the same to my mum after 30 years of marriage, and what seemed to be the most perfect, loving life.

Mum was devastated, had to sort out their finances and had arranged as far as buying his share of the property.

There was no other woman but we were all so shocked, it kind of felt like he was having a mid life crisis.

However, after 3 months he came back and begged for forgiveness etc.

That was almost 10 years ago and things for them are better than ever.

If I was in this situation I'm not sure that I would have forgiven as I think it would be hard to trust he wouldn't do it again.

Hugs to you 💐

onanotherday · 18/09/2024 15:48

OP💐
Sadly, i recognise all your feelings...I would have done literally anything to have my exh back...at the time.
I also did the whole pick me dance ( stll embarrassedby that!)...he did come back on and off but by then even DC's didn't want to see him.
10 years later he is in bedsitter land, no longer able to do the professional job he had. Dc's are young adults and rarely see him.
I very slowly, with therapy, began to get back to the old me.
I was in the throws of menopause when this happened and feeling very unattractive and frumpy.
I lost weight on the divorce diet! And started investing in myself..a few holidays with family and friends..and began to feel so much better. I see him now for family stuff..graduations etc. But he now looks older than me (he is younger) .
I had a few short relationships in the last 10 years.. but decided to focus on DC.
I have retrained and now have a good group of friend and freedom to do what I want...I do at times feel sad for the life I had hoped for when we retire..but wanted to say I feel more supported and happy than I have in years.
Time and space helped. Be kind to yourself..as others have said the 'script' is a useful read and therapy.
I can tell by the way you write that you are stronger than you think! Keep talking to us, vipers or friends in rl. X

Noodlehen · 18/09/2024 15:56

OP,
I don’t have much advice to give, but I read all your posts and I have tears in my eyes for you.
you sound amazing, smart and strong. You are clearly a beautiful person and that mad does not deserve you.

sending love ❤️

Alondra · 18/09/2024 15:58

oakleaffy · 18/09/2024 14:52

@Pleasenotme Re telling the husband of OW
I wouldn’t.

Keep your dignity.

He will find out soon enough about his scummy mummy faithless wife.

Their kids will be even worse behaved due to the family split.

What a load of crap.

Enabling a lie to keep OW's husband unaware of essential information about his marriage, it's something the OP needs to emotionally deal with.

TheShellBeach · 18/09/2024 16:00

Alondra · 18/09/2024 15:58

What a load of crap.

Enabling a lie to keep OW's husband unaware of essential information about his marriage, it's something the OP needs to emotionally deal with.

Fully agree.

Thursdaygirl · 18/09/2024 16:00

The best advice I was given - is that in one year's time, you will feel sooooooo much better than you feel today. I felt so broken I feared I'd never recover. But I did. And you will too :)

Sparklywhiteteeth · 18/09/2024 16:04

Op, I think it’s fine to tell her husband, the only caveat is you need to be absolutely sure. I know you said there is no doubt, but if there is, then don’t, because it’s not something you can get wrong,there are young children involved.

however if there generally is no doubt, then I would.

ThorndonCream · 18/09/2024 16:09

Is your husband quite rich because, to be brutally honest, I wouldn't have chosen a man of 57 in my late thirties, even if he did look good for his age? When your husband is retired at 67 or so, she will be barely 50. If she stays she may well end up looking after some old man in carpet slippers who wants to stay home and watch television assuming he doesn't have a heart attack or stroke or other debilitating illness that is more likely in older people. And it does look like she made quite a concerted effort to worm her way into your family. I'd be incredibly annoyed about the babysitting by your daughter and the work experience offer. Frankly, in the circumstances, I'd be on the telephone to her husband but you may be a nicer person than I am. If she threw a bomb into my life I'd be throwing a bomb into hers.

I can't imagine what your husband is thinking of either. Imagine those two feral children with them 5 days a week at least. The mess, the toys, the arguments over food and homework, children complaining over anything grownup in the food like mushrooms or asparagus, holidays suitable for children, childish illnesses like chicken pox, norovirus outbreaks, getting up early in the morning to get them organised, the school run and so on. Then there's the screaming and biting eldest child. It is hardly going to be a cosy little love nest with that lot going on and his own children who now think less of dear old dad. That's if she has plans to leave her husband rather than denying everything and describing your husband as some lovesick old fool who has been bothering her. I think that's less likely though because if you were just looking for a quick fling you'd be looking for somebody young, good looking and hot, not some married late middle aged chap.

I know it will be a wrench to give up the family home. But it may be quite high maintenance and far more space than you need. You may find a lovely smaller place that suits you far better. I am betting that she won't come out of the marriage with a lot of equity and I suspect that she is not earning the sort of money you do so your husband may be feeling the pinch moneywise if they do move in together. He may be much less attractive with half his present assets.

Men say horrible things when they are behaving badly. They rewrite history to make themselves feel better because they would rather think of you as a nagging shrew rather than recognise themselves as unfaithful cheating scum. For some reason, they feel obliged to try to persuade their wives of this by sharing this with them as they leave.

Men sometimes do come back. Like many people by the time the man I thought was the love of my life was talking about trying again, I was just over it. There were nicer, better men out there. Looking back, I can't fathom the tears I cried over this not very special man and have nothing but relief that it stayed ended. You are much more likely to get a man back by taking a detached calm approach rather than doing the "pick me" dance. Desperate pleading and begging never works. But at the end of the day, after 35 years you shouldn't be having to play some cunning end game to win your husband back and I quite understand that you currently feel devastated.

You have the support of your family and your children. Your boss sounds very understanding and supportive. You have a good career and a good pension so you are much better placed than many of the women who find themselves in your situation. You sound like a very nice kind person and I am so sorry for what you are going through. You didn't deserve any of this.

Now being a somewhat shallow person myself, I always find a spruce up lifts my spirits. A new hairstyle or colour resisting the urge to chop it super short and dye it bright red (assuming you're not a redhead), some new make up, getting your teethw whitened and a few nice outfits can lift your spirits. Yes, I know you probably can't stop crying long enough to put on undereye concealer but you will get over this and you won't be sharing your house with the feral children.

I don't think anything I've said here would make the OW happy either so if she does read this, she should be ashamed of herself.

Frenchcountryhomes · 18/09/2024 16:14

Alondra · 18/09/2024 15:58

What a load of crap.

Enabling a lie to keep OW's husband unaware of essential information about his marriage, it's something the OP needs to emotionally deal with.

He’s not going to be unaware for long is he? The OW is going to have to tell him so she and and errant husband can start their new life together. Only that won’t go well.

tolerable · 18/09/2024 16:18

@Pleasenotme .how are you today? ive just read your op/updates etc.
i think you are being forced to "go through the process" and doing so ,on mumsnet which is brave.You seem to be experiencing pretty similar to 5 stages of grief. which there is no tie limit on,and given the bomb drop/shell shock is pretty usual. You sound really lovely.
if anything id try to NOT focus on the ow too much, if at all.
the advice-5minutes at a time from another poster is so important. Hurt,despair,tears all valid.
A huge blow to your pride-is not the same as no self respect.standard issue is the perpetrator of such blow then throws salt on wound.
dont waste your time think bout him either.
hes made his bed.
do breathwork(you tube)as and when required.write -fill pages-and burn it.. but be careful to keep your own councel -/trust only those you know you can. he is not your ally.tell him nothing.
Even in your utter heartbreak moments -YOU -are shining through.
Its ok to hurt.its ok to face it-and rise.i truly think you will .

BirthdayRainbow · 18/09/2024 16:18

echosun · 18/09/2024 08:32

Sorry, I said 'should have spotted the signs' - that's not true. She talks about how looking back, there were a few odd episodes - again with his language. It's also absolutely wild how she finds out.

It's been interesting to watch her journey after splitting up with the latest husband - I think his name is Ben. She said she went out every night for a year as couldn't bear to be home alone. She's very open about it all and how she struggled with everything.

I'll stop banging on about her now!

Sending lots of love. You sound brilliant and strong. Of course you are in 'shock' mode right now, so let that storm ride out. You will get to the angry phase soon which is more productive but for now, take it very, very easy. Drink lots of tea and see people. Talk to people. You'll hear stories which will help you gain strength. Keep getting up in the morning and putting on that lipstick.

Just for clarity, Vanessa was not married to Ben. They were long term engaged.

WeAreWhereWeAre · 18/09/2024 16:19

@ThorndonCream - I did exactly that when my ExH left for the OW. The first time he took out all the three DDs by himself (he'd never had all three by himself before useless arse) I got a new hairstyle and colour, had a makeover in the local dept store, took myself out to lunch and then did some shopping for things for me. It felt quite liberating.

I think he was quite surprised when he dropped the children back at how different I looked and behaved.

Pleasenotme · 18/09/2024 16:26

Thank you again for all the support, the lived experiences of so many of you, the advice and suggestions, and above all, the profound kindness and empathy. It is has been a real crutch to me over the last 24 hours. To those of you who think I sound stronger, I don't feel so in any way, but I think I am so exhausted that I'm zombie rather than zen.

I sobbed and sobbed when I spoke to the Dr; he was very kind and asked me if I had heard about 'the script', although he referred to it as 'the middle-aged man's script', which made me smile in a bleak way after all the references to it on here. I told him about the suicide ideation which he assured me was very normal in these circumstances. He has prescribed A-D's and has urged me to contact the local NHS crisis team if I feel I am spiralling, or go to A&E although that suggestion didn't hold much appeal after recently spending a night in there with DS after a sporting injury. The A-D's I've been prescribed are Sertraline; I had Citalopram years ago when I had some post-natal depression which although it helped me, led to awful side effects, hence his offering Setraline. I've just googled the potential side effects of that and they are terrifying so if anyone has anything positive to say about how it has helped them, I would love to hear as I'm frightened of taking it I think. He said he could sign me off sick but I decided against that at the moment as I think all I would do is spend all day crying. He suggested a compromise that I talk to my boss about doing some kind of temporary part time arrangement. I don't know. I am struggling to make any kind of decision. I'm finding it an effort even to bother to go and have a wee so I sit here bursting to do so but sort of stuck in my chair.

I've not heard from my H today and as I'm blocked I can't see if he is online. I keep expecting a letter to come through the door with a notice of divorce proceedings and nearly jumped out of my skin when some mail was delivered earlier. It feels like the Sword of Damocles is slowly working its way down to my throat. I've been in touch with a friend whose DH left her last year - she has told me about an online divorce coach and mentor who she said helped her greatly but I don't think I'm in a place where I actually want to do this as it means I have to accept this is real, and I'm still holding out hope that I'll wake up and it isn't.

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