Stay at home mum of 1 child? Frowned upon?

[Spudulanky]

Why do other people/mums care?!

The child is school age.. its gossiped about.. but why??

honestly why???

The only reason I can think of is jealousy? Maybe they wish they could stay at home too?

People will judge you for being a SAHM and they will also judge you for working full time and not being with your child enough.

I would do what works for your family and not pay attention to gossip.

Ignore them all. I've been a stay at home mum for two children. Now the youngest has started secondary school, I've secured a job. It's nice being around when they're little. They're off school sick often and there's so many school holidays! I've had mum's from primary school blank me, after they've found out I'm not working! They're jealous and wish, that they could have done the same thing! Enjoy your time with your child, because it all goes so quickly.

I guess because once the child is in school you are no longer a SAHM, you are a housewife or unemployed if you are looking for work. A SAHM surely means that you look after your child full-time not just mornings, evenings, weekends like us working mums. I think most women don't want to be housewives but I could be wrong.

To be honest i wouldn't have thought twice about it if i met you in person but since you've brought it up here you have piqued my curiosity! And I wonder if curiosity is part of the reason for the gossip - if you only have one child and they're at school all day, what do you do with your time? It sounds lonely and boring to me. Maybe if people knew you were a SAHM and a passionate daily breadmaker/needlework artist/literacy volunteer they would have less to say and more to relate to (in principle at least)!

Because they are probably wondering what you are doing all day and are jealous of your free time. Ignore it.

Fuck them. It's not their business how you conduct your life.

Yes, I wouldn't describe you as a SAHM if your child is at school.

My only concern with SAHMs are if they're not married, or if there are concerns about their access to family finances. of course their decision, but I worry some mums don't know the risks if the relationship was to end, as there's no legal obligation for their partner to divide finances / property fairly.

This .

They're probably wondering why anyone voluntarily renders themselves economically inactive.

Who are these people?

For a lot of women, being a SAHM is a way of opting out of society that they never quite fitted into.

Lots of people are unemployed, mums or not. Just ignore it.

Who is gossiping?

I was a SAHM for many years (didn't return to FT work util 2nd child was 15, but had the odd job cleaning, serving in pubs and shops, to fit in with my husband's working hours.

If you can afford to stay at home, do so. Children grow up so fast. Yours will thank you for it later. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone.

The stress I've gone through as a single, full time working mother to a three year old, I am just jealous I can't stay home! Don't worry about other people's opinions enjoy your life xxx

Where on earth are people gossiping about and blanking SAHM's? Are you sure that not working is the reason? At my grandchildren's school there are a lot of mums who don't work because it's in a very affluent area.

It's jealousy.
Don't let other people dictate how they think you should be running YOUR life.

...also it's a special time, and the time goes so quickly, so make the most of it.

Are you sure that’s why people are gossiping?

In affluent areas sahp is very common. In fact it’s quite common in a lot of areas.

You're not a stay at home much if your DC are in school - you're just unemployed

I think it’s quite amusing when people call themselves a ‘stay at home mum’ when their child is in school. Because they’re not a ‘stay at home mum’ anymore - they’re just unemployed. They’re with their child as much as I am and I work full time!

I have no problem at all with genuine stay at home mums (those whose children are not absent at school all day!) and I was one myself until my kids started school. But people who call themselves stay at home mums when their kids are in school all day do make me laugh a bit. Like they feel the need to give themselves this title just to justify not working? What are they doing all day home alone that justifies this special title? Is it some secret mum business or is it just the same stuff that everyone else fits in around a work schedule 😂😂

Jealousy. That is all. Agree with PPs it's not really being a stay at home mum though if the DC is at school.

(For what it’s worth, I have never ever heard anyone bitching about stay at home mums! Not even when I was a stay at home mum myself. The only people I ever see claiming that everyone is angry with stay at home mums, are on mumsnet!)

I was a SAHM for a long time - I had five sons , and was kept very busy even when they were in school. I was always there when needed, for holidays, sick days, sports days etc. I loved it. It was a time when a lot of women chose to stay at home, plus we didn't have expensive holidays, two cars etc. When the last one was in secondary school, I went back to college and worked either part time/full time for the next 20 years.
Different times I know - and I am glad I had the opportunity to be with my children - and now my grandchildren!