Where do all the single, nice 45+ men go?

[OnthetracktoLondon]

Hello,

OLD just is not working for me. I’m a 52 year old female, not bad for my age, in a professional job, like the outdoors, love to travel, love long weekends in London…

I just don’t like anyone on OLD. It’d not the right platform for me and it feels like an Argos catalogue.

I am feeling down about it all.

Left a long, sexless marriage, about 4 years ago now simply because there was no affection/attraction there and a ten year age gap (that didn’t help).

Where am I going wrong?

Fully agree

In my experience, a lot of divorced/single women of that age have caring responsibilities and are single because they want to be or don’t have time to date. The men are single for different reasons.

I was on apps for a couple of years off and on? My DP was on for a couple of weeks had been single for a few months, I was the second person he'd met. I took him off the market. Good ones get snapped up

This pretty much.

It is actually quite possible to be very happy without being in a relationship!

Sad but if you want a decent man at that age a hospice probably. Grab him quick when his darling wife passes.

I'm much closer to the other as well! It's underrated

Of course it is! Why do you think I think it isn’t? I should have probably said happy in a relationship/ in love or companionship again. If someone loses their spouse at 60 are they then not worth it and must stay single? 🤣 Do they deserve to be ‘swerved?’ How ridiculous.

Most of the men in the dating pool at this stage of life are the abusers, the cocklodgers, the addicts, the peter pans, the cheaters and the avoidants.

Ah fuck... left it 10 years to leave my marriage. But at that point i never knew how much he was cheating on me and would do in the future... 😪😂

Mine is an exemple of what could be out there (but he isn't because of complicated reasons...sigh!)

wtf

There's some good and bad men in relationships.
There's some good and bad men who are single.
There's some good and bad men who are over 40. There's some good and bad men under 30.

The above applies to women

Thanks everyone.

This

What I'd say is if you have a negative mindset about men, that will transmit and cause a negative result

Walking groups/running club
Church/other religious establishment of your choice
Work
Local pub in the village
Village cricket club
Classy solo traveller holidays
Folk festivals
Agreeing to every invitation, agreeing to let friends set you up on blind dates, asking friends
Match making service rather than OLD
OLD

Basically you have to live a busy social life and do things where you meet new people regularly, but you have to do this mostly just for having a fun and busy life because you will meet a lot of people and possibly some new friends before you meet any one who is potentially datable. And you have to keep going at it.

@Honest00lad I don't disagree -

Walking groups/running club - Lycra Weirdo
Church/other religious establishment of your choice - Dirty old Weirdo
Work - Disciplinary procedure
Local pub in the village - Alcoholic Weirdo
Village cricket club - Murdering Weirdo (midsomer murders)
Classy solo traveller holidays - Predator Weirdo
Folk festivals - Beardy/unclean Weirdo
Agreeing to every invitation, agreeing to let friends set you up on blind dates, asking friends - Desperate weirdo
Match making service rather than OLD - Dinosaur Weirdo
OLD - Full on weirdo

But I read it on here all men are bad

Maybe there are some local groups you could join? Singles holidays based around your hobbies?

Walking and hiking sound like a great way to meet people.

Four types of single men after 40;

-Divorced because he was a twat with her and he'll be a twat with you.

-Divorced because his wife was a twat.

-Never married because he's too much of a twat for anyone, or he doesn't want the commitment, or has psychological problems.

-Widowers.

-Never married because he just never met the right person.

Obviously, the only viable options are the ones who never met the right person, the widowers and the ones who divorced a twat wife. Caveats; they may have trust issues courtesy of the twat wife they divorced, or they may not be telling the whole truth and they were actually twattier than their wives. The reason they never met the right person could be because they have unrealistic standards. With widowers, you will never live up to the image of their sainted departed wife, so be prepared for that.

😄

I reckon the boozer is a good place still.
The possibility of rejection, the jeopardy. Physically you can see them, hear them and smell them.

Don't worry about it. Being single after 50 is great.
The peace and the freedom are glorious.

You're not going wrong. OLD men/experiences are notoriously shite for all ages. Sorry, probably both sexes?
Just try and enjoy hobbies, friends, join clubs etc. be sociable and hopefully you'll meet someone organically.

This should be printed out, laminated and put up everywhere a woman over 40 is considering OLD.

One could swing a cat in a pub and the odds are good that it will land on somebody better than the asshole one has divorced. So there's that method.