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Original poster

Does anal sex need explicit consent?

691 replies

TellingFriends · 01/09/2024 20:18

2 month relationship.

Man and woman have consensual PIV sex. Is it acceptable for him to have anal sex with her without asking first?

Woman would not have consented if asked beforehand but did not stop him.

Is it fair for him to assume the woman will say no if she doesn't want it?

Woman had never had anal sex before. Woman is also a CSA survivor but he didn't know this.

OP posts:
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5
Rory17384949 · 01/09/2024 20:25

Yes of course explicit consent is needed!

Icanttakethisanymore · 01/09/2024 20:26

TellingFriends · 01/09/2024 20:22

Also, this might sound naive but could this happen by accident? Lying down, 'spoon' position. Could it have been a mistake?

It could be a miss aimed thrust but it’s very obvious very quickly to both people involved what has happened and should be followed by a big apology if it does accidentally happen.

LadyGilley · 01/09/2024 20:26

TellingFriends · 01/09/2024 20:22

Also, this might sound naive but could this happen by accident? Lying down, 'spoon' position. Could it have been a mistake?

There is absolutely no way this could happen by accident.

FunLurker · 01/09/2024 20:26

Me and my partner are both happy to have sex even if one is half asleep. If we have anal sex he ALWAYS makes sure I'm happy with it and repeatedly checks. If I'm uncomfortable or change my mind it's never a issue. It wouldn't of been a accident

JerryHasSprungAgain · 01/09/2024 20:26

No way it's acceptable for him to have anal sex with her, or any kind of sex, without first getting consent. Is that not obvious?

Mum2jenny · 01/09/2024 20:27

All sex requires consent, I will never consent to anal sex.

Headawobble · 01/09/2024 20:27

Absolutely, discussion and explicit consent are 100% needed in this situation and it doesn't happen by accident.

Hope you are ok OP.

newtlover · 01/09/2024 20:27

WTF
yes of course it does
otherwise its rape

google the cup of tea video then show it to this knobhead, if you are feeling generous, otherwise go to the police

Juicyfroott · 01/09/2024 20:27

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Original poster
TellingFriends · 01/09/2024 20:28

Oh God okay thank you for the replies. I didn't realise at the time but have started to understand how far from okay this was.

OP posts:
newtlover · 01/09/2024 20:29

sorry this happened to you OP

tresales · 01/09/2024 20:29

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TuesdayWhistler · 01/09/2024 20:29

Explicit and ENTHUSIASTIC consent.

There is no other consent.

If it isn't explicit and enthusiastic consent, it is no consent. And no consent means rape.

Headawobble · 01/09/2024 20:30

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Please ignore this advice OP. It's absolutely not on you.

Mum2jenny · 01/09/2024 20:30

I’d ditch anyone that tried any anal sex without my consent as fast as possible. Who knows what the next thing they’d want to do?
Yes, I know plenty of ppl who like anal sex,but it’s not me!

BirthdayRainbow · 01/09/2024 20:30

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Ignore this. Not saying stop doesn't mean she wanted it. Fear, shock, can make one mute.

ChipsCheeseAndGravey · 01/09/2024 20:32

TellingFriends · 01/09/2024 20:22

Also, this might sound naive but could this happen by accident? Lying down, 'spoon' position. Could it have been a mistake?

No. Men use that as an excuse but they definitely know the difference and know what they’re doing.

Juicyfroott · 01/09/2024 20:34

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Eldrick47s · 01/09/2024 20:35

PandaChopChop · 01/09/2024 20:22

Any sex requires explicit consent.

There is a difference though.

In a consensual sexual relationship PIV you don't verbally give the OK, it consensually happens, anal, when not spoken off or done before, does require verbal consent.

init4thecats · 01/09/2024 20:37

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ThaTrìCaitAgam · 01/09/2024 20:37

Absolutely no! I’ve been there. Pushed him off and left him crying (still can’t believe that he actually cried). Never had sex with him again. Later I realised a was raped.

Doesn’t matter if he new about the CSA, it’s never OK. Just never. This guy can’t be trusted. Please leave! (Let the woman leave)

This makes me fuming, he casually takes his hands off his own responsibility and puts it onto another to justify rape. Mental.

GrumpyMiddleAgedCow · 01/09/2024 20:38

Good god yes that would be a conversation regardless to the situation including if you had been married years! I would have thought (without sounding too graphic) it would need to be a conversation then if you were both 100% wanting to try there would need to be lube and a very slow start with an easy nope not for me from either of you at any point…

Eldrick47s · 01/09/2024 20:38

LadyGilley · 01/09/2024 20:23

Jesus, no!

Any sex needs clear consent. Any new sex act needs explicit spoken consent!

Putting his cock in one place is not consent to stick it in any orifice.

He doesn’t understand this as he’s a porn wreckage.

Edited

Yes, you put it better than I did.

1clavdivs · 01/09/2024 20:39

Would you have asked him for his consent before penetrating him with something anally? I'd bet the answer to that is a definite yes. And I bet he'd definitely expect you to.