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Original poster

DP unreasonable late nights

175 replies

Somethingwaswrong · 26/08/2024 17:54

Hi I am in the process of moving house and me and DP are staying with my mum for 6 weeks while we exchange on the new house. Not ideal as my DP is not the easiest to live with and likes his own space, as does my mum so I feel stuck in the middle. Anyway. My partner usually stays up til 2/3am playing video games and would usually do this in his home office but is continuing to do this while we share a room at my mum's. So I have to sleep from around 11-2am with an eye mask on and hope he doesn't wake me. The noise of the laptop alone is waking me up let alone him walking around making a snack, going to bathroom etc. I have asked him to come to bed earlier as it feels really unfair but he said he can't sleep and he is being as quiet as he can. I'm fed up being woken up every night but not sure what the solution is?

OP posts:
BeardOToots · 26/08/2024 18:12

He sounds like a teenager.

Icanflyhigh · 26/08/2024 18:15

This is really unfair on you and and I presume it disturbs your mum too.
He does sound like a teenager to be honest.

SauviGone · 26/08/2024 18:15

I certainly wouldn’t be tiptoeing around when I get up at 7am and he presumably stays in bed if he’s been up till 3am.

Can he go and stay at his parents place?

Heartbroken187 · 26/08/2024 18:17

WTF - is this teenage boy even old enough to be buying a new place with you?
Sorry for being facetious, OP, but I’ve never heard of an adult man acting like that. I’m old enough now to have teenage boys, and they do that exact same thing (if I let them!)… but the key differences are that they’re teenagers and also that I tell them it’s unacceptable/selfish/bad for their mental health etc…. All of which also apply to your ‘d’P…. He’s taking the piss out of you, disturbing your sleep whilst living rent-free in your mother’s house.

Im guessing you don’t have kids together yet? Honestly I’d think twice about him if you see children in your future. Someone who is so busy playing his little online games and doesn’t give a shit about your sleep is NOT someone who’ll be in your corner during long sleepless nights with a newborn.

I’m sorry if this sounds harsh OP. But please - you deserve so much better than this child.

GinForBreakfast · 26/08/2024 18:19

I Hope you are not buying a house with him because he sounds horrible.

Hatty65 · 26/08/2024 18:24

His desire to play video games til 3am doesn't trump your need to get a decent night's sleep.

He needs to move out or suck up the earlier bedtimes whilst you are in one room. Personally I'd end the relationship over this type of entitlement.

Passmetheaero · 26/08/2024 18:27

He sounds really selfish

StormingNorman · 26/08/2024 18:27

Can he not game downstairs after everyone has gone bed?

Sorry OP, but I am also wondering if you’re DP is a teenage boy 😜

Original poster
Somethingwaswrong · 26/08/2024 18:36

He's 35 😳hes always been like this but usually he will crash out in his office til 5am and doesn't really bother me, I obviously didn't think he was going to continue this while we were sharing a bedroom as living space! It is more disruptive for my mum if he went anywhere else in the house as it's a bungalow so that's why he is in the bedroom. I get up for work at 6am most days too so I'm very fed up and he is being super selfish. We had a short term let booked which fell through and my mum has been nice enough to put us up but think he resents staying here. His mum wouldn't let him stay as they don't get on at all living together... Can currently see why!

OP posts:
DaisyChain505 · 26/08/2024 18:40

You’re going out with a selfish teenager. Do you really want to commit even more to this man child?

Noseybookworm · 26/08/2024 19:08

So he's quite happy to disturb your sleep knowing you have to get up at 6 for work? What a selfish twat 🙄 if he can't sleep, gaming on a laptop is probably the worst thing to do! Tell him to read a book or listen to a podcast with headphones. If I were as sleep deprived as you must be, I would be VERY grumpy!

Original poster
Somethingwaswrong · 26/08/2024 19:28

Noseybookworm · 26/08/2024 19:08

So he's quite happy to disturb your sleep knowing you have to get up at 6 for work? What a selfish twat 🙄 if he can't sleep, gaming on a laptop is probably the worst thing to do! Tell him to read a book or listen to a podcast with headphones. If I were as sleep deprived as you must be, I would be VERY grumpy!

Honestly I think he'll be out in the car after another night of it! Can't seem to understand that even though he is trying to be quiet it's still really not and the heat from the laptop makes the bedroom like a sauna too!

OP posts:
Biggaybear · 26/08/2024 19:32

Luckily he is showing you what he is truly like when it comes to compromise. There is none from his side. Imagine what it would be like if you had young children trying to get to sleep.

Please rethink your relationship. You may think you can cope when you move because he will crash in his office/spare room but I bet he's selfish in other ways.

He needs to learn to grow up & think of others. God knows what your mum thinks of him.

SauviGone · 26/08/2024 19:34

I hope you’re not planning to have children with this manchild.

Personally I’d view this enlightening spell of living with your mum and witnessing his selfish behaviour as the universe giving you a sign.

Original poster
Somethingwaswrong · 26/08/2024 19:39

It's honestly making me have serious doubts about how selfish he is. We just sold our last house so I have my share of the deposit to walk away and it's feeling quite tempting atm. He is a bit selfish in other ways but nothings been as bad as this. It's been coupled with him not actually being very pleasant to my mum either and making me have a good look at him.

OP posts:
yeesh · 26/08/2024 19:45

What a selfish fucker he is. I would have a serious think about things. Him being rude to your mum while living in her house would be the end for me, so disrespectful.

Icanflyhigh · 26/08/2024 19:47

Somethingwaswrong · 26/08/2024 19:39

It's honestly making me have serious doubts about how selfish he is. We just sold our last house so I have my share of the deposit to walk away and it's feeling quite tempting atm. He is a bit selfish in other ways but nothings been as bad as this. It's been coupled with him not actually being very pleasant to my mum either and making me have a good look at him.

35??????

He's 35 and acting like this.

Please OP, you can do a LOT better. Find someone who treats you like a GF.

What do you get out of this relationship?
He plays computer games til 5am and sleeps in his office and you get up for work at 6.

This is no life.

MostlyHappyMummy · 26/08/2024 19:49

The absolute crap women put up with

ShouldIEvenBother · 26/08/2024 19:49

Somethingwaswrong · 26/08/2024 19:39

It's honestly making me have serious doubts about how selfish he is. We just sold our last house so I have my share of the deposit to walk away and it's feeling quite tempting atm. He is a bit selfish in other ways but nothings been as bad as this. It's been coupled with him not actually being very pleasant to my mum either and making me have a good look at him.

Oh OP. I know it will not feel like it but honestly, and given this latest update too, perhaps this is a bit of a blessing in disguise if you are currently in the position where you can walk away with your deposit given the house is now sold. If you did decide to end things it will be a relatively hassle free split from a practical point of view - sounds like it would be the wise, albeit maybe upsetting (but in the long term you'll be fucking relieved I should imagine!) decision.

Selfish men do not get better with age (or children). 💐

Bobbybobbins · 26/08/2024 19:50

Does he have to get up for work? I honestly thought you were going to say he was 23 or younger.

xyz111 · 26/08/2024 19:52

What time does he get up in the morning? When you get up, is he turning the light on/ making as much noise as possible!

gamerchick · 26/08/2024 19:55

Tell him he either knocks off his selfishness or he can bugger off to a b&b or something.

FictionalCharacter · 26/08/2024 19:56

Somethingwaswrong · 26/08/2024 19:39

It's honestly making me have serious doubts about how selfish he is. We just sold our last house so I have my share of the deposit to walk away and it's feeling quite tempting atm. He is a bit selfish in other ways but nothings been as bad as this. It's been coupled with him not actually being very pleasant to my mum either and making me have a good look at him.

Now is your chance to put an end to this and have a better life. He's frankly an awful person. If you decide to end it you need to tell your solicitor ASAP that you're not going to exchange contracts, then you need to get him out of your mum's house. She'll probably be relieved.

Skibidy · 26/08/2024 19:58

Id take the money and run!

Original poster
Somethingwaswrong · 26/08/2024 20:01

xyz111 · 26/08/2024 19:52

What time does he get up in the morning? When you get up, is he turning the light on/ making as much noise as possible!

He falls out of bed at 9ish and works from home so he's also got my desk etc while I work from the kitchen table on the days I'm at home! Not that that's even relevant but thinking about I feel like he's walking all over me. In the house we are buying, he also getting a workshop and garage for his car hobby (main reason we are moving) and also then gets the home office while I have to work from the kitchen as he says he's too messy and better he has a room to himself.. sorry it's kicking off all my other bug bears now and wondering why I'm letting him walk over me.

OP posts: