DP unreasonable late nights

[Somethingwaswrong]

Hi I am in the process of moving house and me and DP are staying with my mum for 6 weeks while we exchange on the new house. Not ideal as my DP is not the easiest to live with and likes his own space, as does my mum so I feel stuck in the middle. Anyway. My partner usually stays up til 2/3am playing video games and would usually do this in his home office but is continuing to do this while we share a room at my mum's. So I have to sleep from around 11-2am with an eye mask on and hope he doesn't wake me. The noise of the laptop alone is waking me up let alone him walking around making a snack, going to bathroom etc. I have asked him to come to bed earlier as it feels really unfair but he said he can't sleep and he is being as quiet as he can. I'm fed up being woken up every night but not sure what the solution is?

Are you sure you want to live with him?

Jesus Christ.

Pull out of the house purchase and put him in the bin.

Better and less self absorbed men are available.

You need to throw him out and buy a house alone. So for 5 years hes not slept in bed with you as gaming all night. This is ridiculous. And continuing to do this while sharing the room in tour mums house is disgusting, and hes not being respectful to your mum.Bin him, hes a man child who needs a wake up call

No why should she and nor should you, tell your teen to be quiet. My daughter managed to game without disturbing me because i told her that was how it was or the internet was turned off

So he is getting a home office, garage and a workshop ?
and you are going to be working in the kitchen ?!!!

and this not yet grown up teenager stays up until 3am or whatever gaming...

REALLY !!!

how much older than you is he ?

Walk away while you can would be my advice. And I normally recommend sorting out the differences. Sleep is a biological need while gaming isn't. I would read him the Riot Act and be prepared to act

are you both equally on deeds and mortgage? Or has he protected his deposit should you split? because if he has, and you split, what would you walk away with after paying the mortgage?

The fact he gets up at 9 and starts work at 9 means he is also not contributing to morning tasks. Does he have breakfast and clean up after himself? Does he not shower?

if youre paying the mortgage, what are both your monthly outgoings look like? Has he a significantly increased amount of spare money?

apart from the inheritance, what other saving did he have? Is the inheritance hiding poor financial planning that will impact you if you take time off work?

have you discussed children, maternity leave, part time work and who will at that point pay the mortgage? Will nursery fees be shared?

So hes totally selfish all the time. You need to get rid.

Bloody hell.

Get out now, while you're young, before you have any kids, or marry this giant man baby.

I think each to their own – if this is how he normally likes to organise his time and you have the space for it, fine.

However if it’s stopping you from sleeping, he’s being incredibly selfish. If he doesn’t sleep till 2am he needs to read a book or something else that’s quiet and won’t disturb anyone.

If he won’t cooperate I’d make sure he was being woken at the same time as me in the morning.

Gosh a lot of ref flags OP 😳 The biggest for me would be how he's treating your DM who is putting a roof over his head. He should be on his best behaviour towards her and trying to impress her so that she sees he's worthy. Instead he's treating her with contempt. Dump him and move on to someone who is worth it.

What are those good point, hea disrespectful, selfish; nasty to your mum, your moving to accommodate him and his cars, he will also have the ‘office’ where do you fit in?

So you are also maid to this spoilt
man child. I think you know what you need to do, be works from home. Makes a mess and you come home and clean it up, you pick his laundry off the floor and wash it for him. Please leave him

Honestly feeling overwhelmed think I have been ignoring red flags and let him walk all over me for the past few years. It's also a good point of what would happen with kids maternity leave when I'm paying the full mortgage but he is very much in the headspace that I should pay half of the house. I honestly can't fathom him being rude to my mum when she's put us up but he said he doesn't want to stay here so I think he resents it. Hes never tried to impress my family , hates my sister and wondering if he thinks he's better than them as his family is a lot wealthier. God he's such a fucking twat isn't he

what would happen with kids maternity leave when I'm paying the full mortgage but he is very much in the headspace that I should pay half of the house.

Have I missed a post-why would you pay full mortgage?

It was in one of my replies but he had big inheritance which is basically half the house so putting that in as a deposit and I have a smaller deposit and paying the full mortgage so we end up paying off for example £200k each at the end

God he's such a fucking twat isn't he

Yes, he really is. Why are you locking yourself even more inextricably to this insufferable jerk?

Terrible idea.

Ring fence your deposits & then pay 50/50 on the mortgage repayments.

That's the fairest way.

Yes he is. Pack his bags, throw him out, block his number.

Find someone else to build a life with.

I think the question is do you want a life partner or a mother to a rude selfish obnoxious thirty something?
Do you want to pick up after him for the next 40 years ?
He will get worse not better.

Think OP before you tie yourself to him any longer His own mum doesn’t want to tolerate his behaviour, that’s telling

What kind of future do you see with him?

Seriously

How will you paying your half of the mortgage work when youbl have kids

he won’t pay for childcare ( he will see the kids as your problem)
so you will be working full time to pay your share of the mortgage / childcare

probably have no maternity leave or a very short one cos you have to to get back to work to pay the mortgage

all while he plays on his latest XBox / PlayStation

Honestly your really lucky you can see what your life is going to be like if you stay

up to you if you stay
but you will be back on here crying with a baby saying what an asshole he is keeping you awake at night when you have a baby

Understatement of the century

You cannot do this

Agree.

@Somethingwaswrong please don't tie yourself further to this man, he is absolutely awful and in no way decent partner or father material. It would be reckless to buy a house with him, and completely irresponsible to bring children into this relationship.