Just went on a date with a gentleman.

[bloodyplasticbag]

I'm not used to this.
He seems kind, loving and
Speaks highly of the mother of his children . They have grown apart.
They have a child with very complex needs whom
They both adore but have not been in love with each other for many years.

He seems so kind, compassionate and loving and I've never been used to this.
I may sound cynical but I have not had this experience before .

It's my second time
meeting him.
As gentle and kind and lovely as when we met.
I feel it's too good to be true.
He's attractive , fit, healthy looking, wealthy and just so nice .
I'm
Hyper vigilant . Scared . Untrusting.
What the hell os wrong with me ???

It took 4 years for my divorce to go through court (story for another thread but exH was deliberately awkward and delaying things. Plus covid impacted).

In legal terms we were separated but I had zero to do with him and had fully separate lives the whole time

The red flag that stood out to me in the OP is that you said he’s wealthy. How do you even know this after only a few dates? Did he tell you he was?

I would tread slowly and carefully.

I live in Ireland, separated 3 years, took us a long time to separate, marriage well and truly over. But yes the meditation process is hard as you have to revisit everything in a harsh clinical way.

My exH is a good man, a gentleman even. Life got the better of us and an issue out of our control got the better of us and drove us apart. He is a great Dad and a good good person.

That said two things. Mediation causes you to have to revisit a long and there are lots of emotions beneath the surface and two, there doesn't have to be anything bad about his for being separated but remember no one is perfect, no one and it takes time to discover what our or their weakness are and whether you're okay with them. Don't sleep with him for ages us my advice and try to establish a friendship.

Sums up Ireland!!

I think its the attempt or want to maintain as close to a family unit as possible for as long as possible even though you can't be a couple. It's the Irish guilt.

Our prime minister was still married, but was with his new partner for years. Very much a thing, here. Divorce is happening more nowadays, but culturally, it’s still sort of alien.

Tumbling, my uncle didn’t split with his wife until my grandad had died. He was stuck in a bad marriage for years…

I dated before I was divorced.

Is this not the point of dating - find out if there is a spark and attraction, who the other person is, and if you want to form some kind of commitment?

Yes progress with caution until trust is earned.
But progress because nothing ventured and nothing gained.
You may just find your next other half...

(An laughing at all the assumptions that he is a lying toerag just because he is nice and normal...)

An laughing at all the assumptions that he is a lying toerag just because he is nice and normal...)

Yes, there are some bitter people out there, which is sad

I know someone whose divorce took 18 years here in Ireland. Finalised 3 months ago.

Op are you a bit over excited and wanted to talk about him so started this thread.? It’s been two dates. Calm down.

No, it's called legal separation.

Thanks for explaining. I will say you would be lucky to divorce in the UK for half of what you are saying. If I remember lodging the first form is about 650 but could well be wrong. It does sound a kind of punishment in Ireland.

Focus on his actions not his words. And take it slowly!