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Original poster

Not finding anyone attractive OLD

193 replies

trakehner · 12/08/2024 22:07

15 year relationship ended 7 months ago. I've never done OLD before but thought I would sign up and have a browse. I'm not ready to actually date, I'm still feeling very fragile despite the fact that split with ex was the right decision, we had grown apart, but there was no major animosity. However since I heard he has already met someone new, I've been feeling very low and sad.

I'm 50 so looking at men around the same age. I have viewed hundreds and hundreds of profiles and I l find literally none of them physically attractive! None of them!

Got me thinking, I don't really find any men attractive in real life either, many actually revolt me. Main reason ex and I split was that I had developed the ick for him physically which destroyed our sex life, something he decided he just couldn't contemplate a future without (fair enough).

But what on earth is wrong with me?!! Is this yet another lovely period-menopause symptom! Will I ever fancy a man again??!!!

OP posts:
jubs15 · 13/08/2024 10:29

I'm in my 50s and have come to the conclusion that most men around my age look like potatoes. They still like to aim much higher and I get mildly insulted, haha! It's not all about looks, but so many have really let themselves go.

SamW98 · 13/08/2024 10:35

And just to add that the only man I met who I found attractive and engaging on first couple of dates told a few porkies - he was 59 (dating profile said 53) and about 5’9 (dating profile said 5’11)

Then after date 2 he asked me to stay the following weekend but thought it was the right time to tell me about his erectile dysfunction. Another issue at 50+ it seems

BlastedPimples · 13/08/2024 10:50

@LastNightMyPJsSavedMyLife so was he stunned by your rejection? And pursued you as a result?

BlastedPimples · 13/08/2024 10:52

@changemyways me too - happier alone.

When I think about all the drama and misery in my life, it's all been because of men who have created it.

So weird. Even my dad, a really nice bloke, but created drama by running off with us kids instead of just asking my mother for a divorce. He had to make more of a drama of it.

I don't need or like drama. So it's better to swerve the tried and tested sources of it.

SweetAmber · 13/08/2024 10:55

Most mens looks and waistlines have gone by 50 . Not all but most . I think it's the lack of hair that makes them look unattractive and ages them . Plus they don't look after their skin the way women do so get more wrinkles. It must be hard for the ones that were good looking in their younger days .

SweetAmber · 13/08/2024 10:57

jubs15 · 13/08/2024 10:29

I'm in my 50s and have come to the conclusion that most men around my age look like potatoes. They still like to aim much higher and I get mildly insulted, haha! It's not all about looks, but so many have really let themselves go.

Most of them are after younger women in their 40s who are still attractive but don't want kids and if they are lucky women in their thirties .

LastNightMyPJsSavedMyLife · 13/08/2024 11:07

@BlastedPimples I have no idea. I left him a message then blocked him.

RanchRat · 13/08/2024 12:37

Don't dispair. You can have a relationship with a woman without it all being about sex. Some just want companionship - google lesbian bed death, its a bit of a cliche but often true in my experience.

QueenMegan · 13/08/2024 12:47

Think you have to.meet you can't tell from a picture my ex was very handsome apparently but an utter bellend....
Men who are very attractive it's alot deeper than a 6 pack alone

Twinklewonderkins · 13/08/2024 13:16

I’m 53 and in a 4 year relationship with a man 19 years younger, he never wants kids and we don’t live together, but plan to in the future.
I struggled to find anyone my age to date, most men date younger despite looking like a poorly kept version of my dad.

NeedToAskPlease · 13/08/2024 14:31

Also l swipe left on those wearing a wedding ring.... they are either still married... split recently and on the rebound.... or it's a really old photo

Also those who write absolutely nothing about themselves on their page.

Machiavellian · 13/08/2024 15:39

I'm too scared to Google lesbian bed death. What is it?

SauvignonBlonk · 13/08/2024 16:03

Every now and again I think it might be nice to have a man about. I look at OLD and the men my age are definitely not looking after themselves. One I was chatting to yesterday said we could take it in turns to cook, said he had a bit of a fat stomach.
Didn’t exactly woo me.
Today he said he needed to go..then deleted the entire conversation - presumably his wife turned up!

SamW98 · 13/08/2024 16:12

Last year I matched with a pretty attractive bloke in his 50’s - had a few good chats and arranged to meet on the Saturday so swapped numbers.
He promptly sent me a selfie with a reflection of his naked arse in the strategically positioned mirror behind him - date cancelled!

Not long afterwards I matched with another good looking 50 something. He asked if we could chat on the phone and then while we were having a normal not at all sexual conversation he asked what I was wearing and started making groaning noises - he was obviously wanking!! I hung up and he tried to call back then messaged saying we’d got cut off. Blocked!!

And both these guys smart looking professional older men.

Original poster
trakehner · 13/08/2024 17:30

I just wanted to thank each and everyone of you who has commented on this thread. I have felt a little brighter today and made it through without once crying silent tears behind my computer and I'm sure that's thanks to all you 😊.

OP posts:
Original poster
trakehner · 13/08/2024 17:31

@Stravaig your post is brilliant, I have re-read it several times and every word is so true. Thank you.

OP posts:
PeachyKeane · 13/08/2024 17:31

Big hugs OP. Life is so much simpler without a messy smelly man clogging up the bathroom.

Original poster
trakehner · 13/08/2024 17:32

@MrsWhattery yes!!! Mr Active is definitely the third genre of male along with the potatoes and earthworms and equally as off putting!

OP posts:
Resisterance · 13/08/2024 17:56

MrsWhattery · 13/08/2024 10:29

Oh and there’s another type too IMO - Mr Active. Not overweight or unfit as he spends his life cycling, hiking, adventuring and trying out extreme sports. He says things like “I have two wonderful kids who are my world” and then “I love exploring the world, camping under the stars, remote rugged beaches at midnight with that special someone” and I think yes so do I mate but I’m a single mum. I can’t do that. Who’s looking after your kids while you do all this? The imbalance between my life and the freedoms most single dads have means I’d be boring and unavailable for Mr Active.

Whenever i see gangs of blokes in lycra on bikes out on the road,.i automatically think this is them skiving off doing any parenting or housework with a bullshit hobby excuse. My thoughts then turn to the knackered woman at home picking up all the slack.

My stbxh was a musician and his hobby involved being away all weekend playing at festivals for about 50 quid and coming home grumpy and hungover on a Sunday with no money and wondering why i wasn't feeling fruity and up for it after lone parenting all weekend. All the time.

Resisterance · 13/08/2024 17:58

jubs15 · 13/08/2024 10:29

I'm in my 50s and have come to the conclusion that most men around my age look like potatoes. They still like to aim much higher and I get mildly insulted, haha! It's not all about looks, but so many have really let themselves go.

🤣

SamW98 · 13/08/2024 18:12

MrsWhattery · 13/08/2024 10:29

Oh and there’s another type too IMO - Mr Active. Not overweight or unfit as he spends his life cycling, hiking, adventuring and trying out extreme sports. He says things like “I have two wonderful kids who are my world” and then “I love exploring the world, camping under the stars, remote rugged beaches at midnight with that special someone” and I think yes so do I mate but I’m a single mum. I can’t do that. Who’s looking after your kids while you do all this? The imbalance between my life and the freedoms most single dads have means I’d be boring and unavailable for Mr Active.

And this group frequent Hinge as their spiritual home with 99% of them answering the prompt ‘what’s your ideal Sunday’ with ‘a long walk and a pub roast’

Despite spending every walking hour there not at work up a mountain, on a paddle board, in a kayak, on a bike wearing bollock hugging Lycra or wresting bears, they’ll be completely bemused as to why their marriage ended

Newbeginning12 · 13/08/2024 18:27

@MrsWhattery i’ve totally the same issue as I have my kids 80% of the time and am too busy ‘surviving’ and doing the day to day….such an imbalance between these dads able to spend time indulging their hobbies

bringonyourwreckingball · 13/08/2024 18:42

I appear to have found my people. 49, look younger, failing to even make it to a first date at the moment. They’re all so old.

Lookingforunicorns · 13/08/2024 19:04

They’re all so old.
That's also because so many are clearly lying about their age.

SamW98 · 13/08/2024 19:35

Lookingforunicorns · 13/08/2024 19:04

They’re all so old.
That's also because so many are clearly lying about their age.

And their height. Most the men I met were shorter and older than their profiles